Waiting for someone else to tell me what to feel
because it’s just too big to take in by myself
Killing to the left of us, killing to the right
Fear and hatred and anger
And I go to Costco to buy some things for Mom
and I’m waiting in line behind a man
with a cart full of stuff –
if you’ve ever been to Costco you can picture this –
and suddenly I see a cashier step out and motion to me
with a smile on his face – summoning me to be first
in his line and I point to myself and mouth, “Me?!”
And he nods his head and smiles and I jog to his
line and laugh and thank him.
And he’s a black man. And he’s helping ME. And
I’m so grateful to him for not hating me
for the color of my skin that
I want to give him a hug. But instead I smile again
and thank him again, and wish that everybody
could be like Reggie.
Later that night I’m watching the news
and Philando’s girlfriend says,
“Violence is not the key. Us coming together and
standing together is what makes our voices be heard.”
And at last someone is helping me wrap my head
around the tragedy, and giving me some direction.
Thank you, Diamond. We won’t forget Philando.
We’ll stand together for him.
–Karen Molenaar Terrell