I took the kitty in to be spayed –
this is the bouncing-off-the-furniture cat
the climbing-the-windows cat
the gymnastical flipping cat
and the vet said she had
a heart murmur.
Tests could be performed.
And I thought about this.
Do I really want my kitty to spend
her short kitty-life in and out of
vet’s offices, sedated, drugged,
surrounded by fear?
I just want my cat to be happy.
So I said no to the procedures
and brought her home. Where we
are struggling to keep her from bouncing
off the walls long enough for her
to heal from her spaying.
I am not going to invest any more time
or emotion in speculation and diagnoses
of this thing or that thing, fatal
possibilities for my cat (or myself
or my world).
I refuse to be impressed with death
or live in fear of disease and loss –
like death is the worst thing and
long life is always the goal.
I want more
than long life for my cat.
I want her to be fear-free.
I want her to know love.
I just want her to be happy.
– Karen Molenaar Terrell