A Christmas Story in Homonymese

Two my deer English teacher friends (and those who speak Homonymese) –
Eye thought it mite bee nice two give ewe sum thing too play with two-day. Sew eye give ewe a Christmas story:

Once upon a thyme inn a land far, far away, their lived a young girl named Surely. Surely was a suite child and was all weighs looking four opportunities too give two those around her.

Won mourning, as Surely walked down the rode into the town of Bethlehem, she past the in they’re and heard a we baby crying inn the manger. Surely all weighs carried her drum set with her (because who doesn’t, write?) and – bee-ing the suite child she was decided two play her drums for the knew baby boy.

She maid quite a racquet, let me tell ewe. Pretty soon people were paying her too stop. She gave the money too the baby’s parents, Merry and Joseph. Because she was thoughtful like that.

The End.
-Karen Molenaar Terrell

Snow in Bow

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