July 27, 2019
I got word that Daddy had a difficult night. Went over to his home to give him a quick hug and tell him I love him. He smiled at me when he realized I was there and mumbled something about the “holiday weekend.” I kissed his forehead and told him I loved him, and he told me he loved me. And then I got up to leave. Made it all the way to the stairs before I stopped. Turned. Went back. Pulled up a chair next to his bed and sat in it. It had occurred to me that there may come a time soon when I will wish I could be with Daddy for even one more minute.
I took Dad’s hand and squeezed it. He squeezed back. I squeezed his hand twice. He squeezed my hand twice. We just sat there holding hands for about ten minutes – watching the old black and white movie on his TV together. I sang some hymns “to” him – but… I knew he couldn’t hear what I was singing – I was really singing the hymns to myself as I held his hand –
“In heav’nly love abiding,
No change my heart shall fear;
And safe is such confiding,
For nothing changes here.
The storm may roar without me,
My heart may low be laid,
But Love is round about me,
And can I be dismayed?”
(words by Anna Waring)
Tears started running out of my eyes and down my face. I sniffled and wiped them away.
When I finally felt it was time to go and let Dad rest I leaned over to tell him good-bye. Daddy said, “Happy Fourth of July!” And I thanked him.
Karen: I love you, Daddy.
Dad: I love you, Karen.
Powerful is the only word I can use for this post. I have been reading everthing you write for so long now I lost tract. One thing I can see is that you flirt with something beyond being a good writer and storyteller. There is something extraordinary there , just below the surface that pops up now and then and I believe it is coming out in full force soon. By the way, I love this hymn, I was always fascinated with the line “nothing changes here” .My favorite hymn though is hymn 314 “Sow in the morn thy seed” . I can remember when I was in my early 20’s and I was attending the magnificent structure that is The First Church of Christ Scientist Atlanta, with its huge congregation and we sang hymn 314 and my whole body felt electrified and I choked up , I will never forget it. Take care, love, Rick
Hello Karen, I just got home and was looking for a new post from you and I saw that you had not replied to my comment, which is something you always do, and I was a little worried that things might not be going well. Fear is a bad emotion I know. Around here, in the Deep South, it is very common to tell your friends who are facing something that you will be praying for them. Even though I am very Southern ( I am descended from some of the very first Europeans who ever lived in the South East) my religion , even though Christian Science has been part of the Southern landscape since the late 1800’s , it is still different from typical Southern Religion and I am at a loss at times what to say to people who are going through a crisis or difficult time. I know that pleading with God to do something is not truth. So I still tell them that I am praying for them and then I just think about what Mrs Eddy said about the way to heal is to just love. So I try to do that. You would think after all this time I would better understand better how to do it.. So I am just thinking loving thoughts about you and your Dad and your family and thinking about perfection and Life. Love, Rick
Oh my goodness! You are a treasure of a human being, Rick! Thank you so much for sending those loving thoughts! I feel them! Dad is still with us – although he was put back on hospice today. I’m becoming very conscious about every moment I have with him here. Sending you a mental hug – can you feel it? ❤ Karen
Rick – this comment really touched me. Thank you, dear friend. Your kind words mean so much to me. Karen
I just want you to know that you have friends you have never met. I think you know that already. I will be supporting you. Your new post brought a flood of emotions for me . I remember the same things you do, just in a different location. Just today, I was doing some work from home and I had the TV on in the background and Bewitched was on, before that it was I Dream of Jeanie. I have to admit though that my favorite show from when I was a kid was Lost in Space! Lol …Much Love to you and yours always, Rick
Thank you, dear friend never-met! ❤
Rick really spoke my feelings as well, Karen. So many of us are walking alongside you during this loving, sad & challenging time on this journey with your Dad. You have hundreds of arms supporting you. ❤️
Pamm! Oh man. You have no idea the power in the words you wrote. I’m tearing up here – in a good way. Thank you so much, dear friend. I can feel the love – I really can. My friends are precious. ❤