“Delicious autumn!”

Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth

seeking the successive autumns. – George Eliot

***

I trust in nature for the stable laws of beauty and utility.

Spring shall plant and autumn garner to the end of time. – Robert Browning

***

In seed time learn, in harvest teach, in winter enjoy. – William Blake

I love this time of year.  I love the musky, cidery smell in the air, the sunny days that have just a little bite to them, the gold and crimson in the leaves, and the gathering of the harvest.  There’s a huge satisfaction in bringing in the harvest and squirreling stuff away for winter, isn’t  there?  I feel a connection to the generations of peasant ancestors that came before me, and to the world that gifts us with the seasons and earth’s bounty. I feel connected to Life.

Last July, being the cheapskate I am and not wanting to spend a whole lot of money on a factory-made arbor, I asked my son – the engineering student – if he would design and construct an arbor for my grape vines from the flotsam and jetsam we have stashed away around our property.  With an old gate and four posts he found in a pile of wood, the son and his friend built a really cool grape arbor for me.  I wove the vines into the mesh of the old gate at the top of the arbor and awaited developments.

Soon clusters of little grapes were beading on the vines. And then, in due time, the beads became full-fledged grapes – ripe and purple and ready for harvesting.

And yesterday it was time to turn the grapes into my very first ever batch of grape jelly! Et voila! Behold…

photo by Karen Molenaar Terrell

photo by Karen Molenaar Terrell

Yup. I made the grape jelly glowing in the morning sunshine in the jars on my kitchen counter. Aren’t those jars beautiful?  I look at those jars of jelly with a kind of awe. That jelly came from the grapes that grew on the arbor my son built for me.

Cool. 🙂

And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat. – Genesis 1: 29

While the earth remaineth, seedtime and harvest, and cold and heat, and summer and winter, and day and night shall not cease. – Matthew  8: 22

(all photos by Karen Molenaar Terrell)

More Malala and less Kardashian, please (or …”when your dreams are powered by your heart…”)

If money was my only motivation, I would organize myself differently. – Placido Domingo

I went to sleep dreaming of Malawi, and all the things made possible when your dreams are powered by your heart. – from The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind by William Kamkwamba and Bryan Mealer

You must not treat others with cruelty… you must fight – but through peace, and through dialogue, and education… I even want education for your (the Taliban’s) children as well. – Malala Yousafzi (from an interview with Jon Stewart)

***

Amid all the political jostlings and rivalries – the posturing and finger-pointing and self-serving nonsense – I have found reason for hope for our planet.  Two reasons, actually.  The reasons have names – Malala Yousafzai and William Kamkwamba. Where others might be motivated by the desire for wealth or fame or power, these two young people were, and are, motivated by the selfless desire to make the world a better place.

William – whose story can be found in The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind (http://www.amazon.com/The-Boy-Who-Harnessed-Wind/dp/0061730335/ref=tmm_pap_title_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1381549584&sr=1-1 ) – survived famine and drought, and being pulled from school because his family had no money to pay the school fees – to design a windmill that brought electricity to his community and water to his family’s crops. Although his invention brought him fame, and enabled him to return to school, fame was the last thing on his mind when he began gathering the scraps of material he needed for his windmill. He was driven by the yearning to learn, a curiosity to understand how things work, and the desire to make his family’s life easier.

Like William, education was and is very important to Malala Yousafzai. So important that she’s willing to risk her life for it.  So important that she almost DID lose her life for it.  A year ago Malala was shot at point blank range in the head by men who did not approve of her belief that girls in Pakistan should have access to the same education that boys have in her country. Did shooting Malala in the head stop her from speaking on behalf of the girls in her country? Nope.  Watch her in this interview with Jon Stewart:  http://www.upworthy.com/watch-this-incredible-young-woman-render-jon-stewart-speechless

William and Malala are the people I want to hear more about. These are the people I want to see pop up on my Yahoo News.  The shenanigans of our politicians and reality TV stars just do not interest me a whole lot anymore, you know?  I don’t feel ill will towards any of ’em. But I’m also determined not to give any of them the power to dictate the quality of my life.  As Ma Jode says in The Grapes of Wrath: “I ain’t never gonna be scared no more. I was, though. For a while it looked as though we was beat. Good and beat. Looked like we didn’t have nobody in the whole wide world but enemies. Like nobody was friendly no more. Made me feel kinda bad and scared too, like we was lost and nobody cared…. Rich fellas come up an’ they die, an’ their kids ain’t no good an’ they die out. But we keep a’comin’. We’re the people that live. They can’t wipe us out; they can’t lick us. We’ll go on forever, Pa, ’cause we’re the people.”

Money.  Eesh. Gloria Steinem says, “It is more rewarding to watch money change the world than watch it accumulate” – and this, for me, is true. Money holds no fascination for me. It never has, really. It is not an end in itself.  We can’t eat it, create a roof with it, or plant it in the garden and watch it grow. It’s just paper and whatever-else-they-put-in-there. The joy, for me, comes in exchanging that paper and whatever-else-they-put-in-there for things that really matter to me – school, experiences and adventures, music, art, books, providing the basics of Maslow’s pyramid to my family, and community.

As I’ve opened myself up to the infinite forms supply might take – and not limited my idea of supply to “money” – needs and wants have been met in extraordinary ways. I’ve had opportunities, for instance, to do things I always wanted to do, and, rather than having to pay to do these things, I have been given the opportunity to do them for free – and then been paid MYSELF for doing them! And, as I have made time for myself to do those creative pursuits that bring me joy, to express Soul – I have been offered money for those pursuits. I have proven, for myself, the truth of Marsha Sinetar’s words: “Do what you love and the money will follow.”

If he needs a million acres to make himself feel rich, seems to me he needs it ’cause he feels awful poor inside hisself, and if he’s poor in hisself, there ain’t no million acres gonna make him feel rich. – John Steinbeck, The Grapes of Wrath

Wealth is in ideas – not money. – Robert Collier

God gives you His spiritual ideas, and in turn, they give you daily supplies. Never ask for tomorrow: it is enough that divine Love is an ever-present help; and if you wait, never doubting, you will have all you need every moment. – Mary Baker Eddy, Miscellaneous Writings

Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. – Matthew 6:21

What happened to that whole “the buck stops here” thing?

Effective leadership is not about making speeches or being liked; leadership is defined by results not attributes. – Peter Drucker

To command is to serve, nothing more and nothing less. – Andre Malraux

…he that is greatest among you shall be your servant… – Matthew 23

It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us — that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion — that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain — that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom — and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth. –Abraham Lincoln, The Gettysburg Address

***

Yeah, I used that Lincoln quote in my last post, too. I keep coming back to Lincoln in my thoughts. Now THERE was a man who knew how to lead. He valued the sacrifices of others, was willing to make sacrifices himself, and was motivated by the desire to keep our nation united and the people who live in it free.  He had the courage to make the tough decisions, and he had the wisdom to know when the time had come to make those decisions.  Lincoln recognized that our nation didn’t belong to him, but that he belonged to it. He understood that he was a servant, and that the nation belonged “of the people, by the people, for the people…”

***

Soooo… have you all seen the video clip wherein Rep. Neugebauer – one of the legislators who voted to shut down our government – is telling a federal park ranger that SHE should be ashamed for turning people away from the gates to the federal park? – trying to make it sound like the poor ranger  is somehow to blame for this whole government kerfuffle? http://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/Congressman-Confronts-Park-Ranger-Over-Closed-WWII-Memorial-226209781.html

Thanks to Rep. Neugebauer and his legislative cohorts – that park ranger and 800,000 other federal employees are on unpaid furlough.  It is interesting to note that Rep. Neugebauer – also a federal employee – will continue to receive his salary. Yup. That’s right. He will continue to get paid for not doing his job.

And then there’s this fellow over at FOX news: “Fox Business host Stuart Varney believes that the ongoing government shutdown, while presenting no real threat to the economy, offers an opportunity to ‘punish’ federal workers for ‘living on our backs.'”  http://mediamatters.org/blog/2013/10/03/foxs-varney-on-furloughed-federal-employees-i-w/196261

Seriously?!!

Federal employees include our military men and women, maintenance people, construction workers, secretaries, park and museum workers, librarians, scientists who work to protect our environment, disaster emergency workers – people who work very hard – sometimes at the sacrifice of life and limb – to protect us, inform us, and provide us with services.  And they are most certainly not parasites who “live on our backs.” Federal employees are public servants, not public slaves. They earn their salaries and deserve to be paid for their services – at least as much as our legislators.

Our senators and representatives are also supposed to be public servants.  We elected them to serve us. We are their employers. And when they are no longer serving us – when they are no longer doing their jobs – I’m thinking it is time for them to go.

What are the qualities that you want to see in  a nation’s leaders? Intelligence, responsibility, empathy, compassion, honesty, integrity, selflessness, wisdom – these are all qualities I value in a leader. Mary Baker Eddy describes, in Prose Works, the type of individual I want representing me: “The upright man is guided by a fixed Principle, which destines him to do nothing but what is honorable, and to abhor whatever is base or unworthy; hence we find him ever the sane, – at all times the trusty friend, the affectionate relative, the conscientious man of business, the pious worker, the public-spirited citizen…He assumes no borrowed appearance. He seeks no mask to cover him, for he acts no studied part; but he is indeed what he appears to be, – full of truth, candor, and humanity. In all his pursuits, he knows no path but the fair, open, and direct one, and would much rather fail of success than attain it by reproachable means.”

Finger-pointing, blame-gaming, “passing the buck” – these are not indicative of good leadership.

“The buck stops here,” read a sign on President Truman’s desk. Now THAT’s what real leadership looks like.

***

“…he that is greatest among you shall be your servant…” – Matthew 23

“Pride and fear are unfit to bear the standard of Truth… ” – Mary Baker Eddy

“Love inspires,  illumines, designates, and leads the way. Right motives give pinions to thought, and strength and freedom to  speech and action.” – Mary Baker Eddy

Government Of the People, By the People, For the People

It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us — that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion — that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain — that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom — and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth. – Abraham Lincoln, The Gettysburg Address

“…he that is greatest among you shall be your servant…” – Matthew 23

Our government exists to serve us. In fact, according to Abraham Lincoln, our government IS us.  Those politicians who represent us in our government are our employees, entrusted to work for us and keep our infrastructure and governmental offices running smoothly.

When the time comes that our politicians – our employees – are no longer concerned with serving us – then it is time for them to move on to other endeavors.  It is time for us to let them go.

I came upon some passages in The Bible today that I found timely.  These passages talked of service – of how the real leaders aren’t the ones who are served, but the ones who serve:

 Jesus knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands, and that he was come from God, and went to God;  he riseth from supper, and laid aside his garments; and took a towel, and girded himself.  After that he poureth water into a bason, and began to wash the disciples’ feet, and to wipe them with the towel wherewith he was girded… So after he had washed their feet, and had taken his garments, and was set down again, he said unto them, Know ye what I have done to you?  Ye call me Master and Lord: and ye say well; for so I am.  If I then, your Lord and Master, have washed your feet; ye also ought to wash one another’s feet.  For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you. Verily, verily, I say unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord; neither he that is sent greater than he that sent him. If ye know these things, happy are ye if ye do them. – John 13

And there was also a strife among them, which of them should be accounted the greatest.  And he said unto them, The kings of the Gentiles exercise lordship over them; and they that exercise authority upon them are called benefactors. But ye shall not be so: but he that is greatest among you, let him be as the younger; and he that is chief, as he that doth serve… – Luke 22

Life, Love, Truth (God) bless those individuals who step up to the plate and put themselves in positions of responsibility and service. I pray to know they will have the wisdom of Solomon in these challenging times – that they won’t divide “the baby in half’ to appease jealousy,  rivalry,  and political demands. I pray to know that those who represent us will know when to “render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar’s” (Luke 20).  And I pray that they will know when to, like Jesus, turn their backs on those who would make them kings (John 6).

Pride and fear are unfit to bear the standard of Truth… – Mary Baker Eddy

I’m not really interested in Mary Baker Eddy’s personal life. Does that make me, like, a bad Christian Scientist?

“Those who look for me in person, or elsewhere than in my writings, lose me instead of find me.  I hope and trust that you and I may meet in truth and know each other there, and know as we are known of God.”  – Mary Baker Eddy (The First Church of Christ, Scientist, and Miscellany, page 120: 2)

 “… follow your Leader only so far as she follows Christ.” – Mary Baker Eddy (Message for 1901)

So I got this flyer in the mail today, telling me about a good deal on biographies about Mary Baker Eddy’s life.  And… I found I wasn’t at all interested in it.  And I’m wondering… does that make me a “bad” Christian Scientist?

The thing is, I’ve always been someone who’s more apt to follow ideas than personalities.  I cherish the ideas that Mary Baker Eddy, the discoverer of Christian Science, brought to us.  I am beyond grateful to Mary Baker Eddy for the sacrifices she made in her life, and the challenges she had to overcome, to bring her discovery to the world – and I know enough about her life to know that those sacrifices and challenges were immense – her early widowhood, the betrayal of friends and family, poverty, her young son taken from her when she was ill, trumped-up lawsuits, hatred, bigotry, prejudice…

But…

In Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, the textbook for Christian Science, Eddy writes: “In founding a pathological system of Christianity, the author has labored to expound divine Principle, and not to exalt personality.”

I don’t believe Eddy wanted adulation. I do not believe she wanted those who consider themselves Christian Scientists to worship her, or to focus on her personality.

Eddy writes in Science and Health: “People go into ecstasies over the sense of a corporeal Jehovah, though with scarcely a spark of love in their hearts; yet God is love, and without Love, God, immortality cannot appear.”  And later she writes: “It was now evident to Peter that divine Life, Truth, and Love, and not a human personality, was the healer of the sick and a rock, a firm foundation in the realm of harmony… In an age of ecclesiastical despotism, Jesus introduced the teaching and practice of Christianity, affording  the proof of Christianity’s truth and love; but to reach his example and to test its unerring Science according to his rule, healing sickness, sin, and death, a better understanding of God as divine Principle, Love, rather than personality or the man Jesus, is required.”

So there you go.

The healing Truth, Love, is what a Christian Scientist follows, right? Not a human personality. Not a man. Not a woman. But the Christ – Love and Truth and Life.

In one of my favorite books, The Greatest Thing in the World, a sermon on I Corinthians 13, Henry Drummond writes: “‘Love rejoiceth not in unrighteousness, but rejoiceth with the truth.’… for he who loves will love Truth not less than men. He will rejoice in the Truth—rejoice not in what he has been taught to believe; not in this church’s doctrine or in that; not in this ism or in that ism; but ‘in the Truth.’ He will accept only what is real; he will strive to get at facts; he will search for Truth with a humble and unbiased mind, and cherish whatever he finds at any sacrifice.”

I love that – “…he who loves will love Truth not less than men.” It seems to me that thought is really the basis for all Science.  I believe that to be a true Christian Scientist one must seek Truth,Christ, not human personality.

The most romantic, over-the-top feel-good marriage proposal I have ever seen in my life. Ever.

Happiness is spiritual,born of Truth and Love. It is unselfish; therefore it cannot exist alone, but requires all mankind to share it. – Mary Baker Eddy

Okay, I just watched a youtube clip that still has me wiping the tears from my face.  I was so moved by this clip – so completely inspired by it.  It went waaaay  beyond your typical proposal of young man on bended knee proposing to young woman – no, this proposal included a choreographed dance to Billy Who’s upbeat song, Somebody Loves You and an ensemble cast of parents, friends, youngsters, oldsters – all there to support the handsome couple. This marriage proposal was testament to the power of community and the power of love. And part of what made the proposal so extraordinary, for me, was that the couple wasn’t a man and a woman at all – the couple was a man and a man… in Salt Lake City… Utah. And… did I mention that their mums and dads were there? Friends? Little girls in pinks tutus doing cartwheels? Babies? If you haven’t seen this clip, you gotta watch it – you just gotta!:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4HpWQmEXrM

This is the way it’s supposed to be. Acceptance. Support. Celebration. Love.

Last March, on the eve of our 29th wedding anniversary, I wrote a blog post in support of marriage equality (  https://madcapchristianscientist.com/2013/03/30/marriage-equality/ ). Even in the six months since that blog post there have been signs of progress that are giving me hope for mankind – and the youtube clip of the marriage proposal is one of them.

I look forward to that day when every citizen can share in the exact same rights as every other citizen of our land. 

Matrimony should never be entered into without a full recognition of its enduring obligations on both sides. There should be the most tender solicitude for each other’s happiness, and mutual attention and approbation should wait on all the years of married life…  Kindred tastes, motives, and aspirations are necessary to the formation of a happy and permanent companionship…    The scientific morale of marriage is spiritual unity… Marriage should signify a union of hearts. – excerpts from the chapter titled “Marriage” in Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy

Let’s Stop Hating on Each Others’ Bodies (and On Our Own)

Love, redolent with unselfishness, bathes all in beauty and light. – from Science and Healthy with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy

In the 1960s, you could eat anything you wanted, and of course, people were smoking cigarettes and all kinds of things, and there was no talk about fat and anything like that, and butter and cream were rife. Those were lovely days for gastronomy, I must say. – Julia Child

Last week a video clip came through Facebook featuring TV anchor Jennifer Livingston responding to a viewer who had written to her: “I was surprised indeed to witness that your physical condition hasn’t improved for many years. Surely you don’t consider yourself a suitable example for this community’s young people, girls in particular. Obesity is one of the worst choices a person can make and one of the most dangerous habits to maintain. I leave you this note hoping that you’ll reconsider your responsibility as a local public personality to present and promote a healthy lifestyle.” Jennifer Livingston’s response to this viewer was pretty powerful, and empowering. “I am, ” she said, “much more than a number on a scale.”  http://www.tvweek.com/blogs/tvbizwire/2012/10/video-tv-anchor-goes-on-the-of.php

Not long after this, I saw that the hilarious and talented Melissa McCarthy (of Bridesmaids and The Heat) had encountered a similar sanctimonious criticism of her weight by well-known movie critic, Rex Reed, who wrote: “As a critic whose opinions are constitutionally protected by law, I stand by all of my original remarks about Melissa McCarthy’s obesity, which I consider about as amusing as cancer, and apologize for nothing.” I love how McCarthy responded to Reed’s comments: “”I felt really bad for someone who is swimming in so much hate… I just thought, that’s someone who’s in a really bad spot, and I am in such a happy spot. I laugh my head off every day with my husband and my kids who are mooning me and singing me songs.”  http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/rex-reed-refuses-to-apologize-for-melissa-mccarthy-comments-i-stand-by-all-of-my-original-remarks-2013216#ixzz2ejUgTepD

It would seem that people who are perceived as “overweight” by others are, basically, being told that they have no right to use their talents and gifts and shouldn’t be allowed to be seen by others because it might set a “bad example.”  Overweight people should be, like, invisible…? Hide themselves away until they can present bodies that others find acceptable…?

And… SERIOUSLY?!!

Why do we do this to each other? Why do we feel we need to hate on other peoples’ bodies? Why do we think the size of other people is any of our business? Why do we feel the need to label everything and everyone as good or bad, right or wrong? And what makes us think that our unsolicited advise to someone else about her weight is in any way helpful to the other person?

***

Okay, what I’m about to present isn’t very Christianly Scientific, I guess – but I feel the need to present it just the same. After I read about the experiences of McCarthy and Livingston, I thought I’d do a little research about the correlation between being overweight and ill health. I’m guessing most of us have just sort of accepted what “experts” have told us about the bad effects of being overweight on health – certainly Rex Reed and the man who criticized Livingston’s weight have bought into the idea that being “overweight” is harmful to one’s health – and appear to have used that idea as an excuse to look down on others. But is it really true, from a medical standpoint, that being overweight hurts your health? Curious, I googled.

I found several sites that actually contradicted the commonly accepted meme about weight and health:

“Being overweight linked to lower risk of mortality” one headline reads.  http://www.cnn.com/2013/01/02/health/overweight-mortality/index.html

“Obese individuals with at least moderate CRF (cardiorespiratory fitness) have lower rates of… all-cause mortality than their normal-weight but unfit peers. In fact, death rates in the former group are about one half those of the latter.”  (Editorial, JAMA, 2004) And “If the height/weight charts say you are 5 pounds too heavy, or even 50 pounds or more too heavy, it is of little or no consequence healthwise – as long as you are physically fit. On the other hand, if you are a couch potato, being thin provides absolutely no assurance of good health, and does nothing for your chance of living a long life.” (Steven Blair, P.E.D., Cooper Institute for Aerobics Research, 1997.)  http://www.obesitymyths.com/myth4.1.htm

“Recent research suggests that people who are obese but metabolically healthy are in no more danger of dying from heart disease or cancer than healthy, normal weight people.”  http://news.yahoo.com/yes-obese-healthy-185800882.html

***

Okay, all that aside…

Do we think that we’re healthy because we don’t smoke? Do we think that we’re healthy because we eat right, exercise, eat an apple a day, get 8 hours sleep, take our vitamins…? Although it seems sensible to me – and natural – to move, play, run, dance – to express the movement and grace of God –  I also believe it’s natural for us to be healthy – I don’t believe good health is something we have to “earn” by rigidly following a checklist of do’s and don’ts. I believe good health is our right and it’s ours to claim right now.  I also believe that beauty is ours to claim right now. None of us can be “too thin” or “too heavy.” “Beautiful” is not something we have to work on becoming. I believe we’re already there. We can recognize it, right now, in ourselves, in each other, and in all of God’s creation.

***

As the physical and material, the transient sense of beauty fades, the radiance of Spirit should dawn upon the enraptured sense with bright and imperishable glories. – Mary Baker Eddy

 Except for the error of measuring and limiting all that is good and beautiful, man would enjoy more than threescore years and ten and still maintain his vigor, freshness, and promise. Man,  governed by immortal Mind, is always beautiful and  grand. Each succeeding year unfolds wisdom, beauty, and holiness. – Mary Baker Eddy

Immortal men and women are models of spiritual sense, drawn by perfect Mind and reflecting those higher conceptions of loveliness which transcend all material sense. Comeliness and grace are independent of matter. Being possesses its qualities before they are perceived humanly. Beauty is a thing of life, which dwells forever in the eternal Mind and reflects the charms of His goodness in expression, form, outline, and color. – Mary Baker Eddy

It is ignorance and false belief, based on a material sense of things, which hide spiritual beauty and goodness. – Mary Baker Eddy

Truth should not seem so surprising and unnatural as error, and error should not seem so real as truth. Sickness should not seem so real as health. – Mary Baker Eddy

Take my life and let it be
consecrated, Lord, to Thee.
Take my moments and my days,
let them flow in ceaseless praise.
Take my hands and let them move
at the impulse of Thy love.
Take my feet and let them be
swift and beautiful for Thee.

– Chris Tomlin

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Things I Learned from the Year of Insanity

(All photos [except the Big Hand Karen photo, by Scott Terrell], were taken by Karen Molenaar Terrell.)

The other afternoon my husband and I went out for dinner at our favorite Italian restaurant. For whatever reason, I was feeling cranky.  Put upon. Impatient.  And then I saw the leaves on the tree outside the window, and I remembered what those leaves had meant to me during the Year of Insanity. I remembered a time when I hadn’t had a choice in how I felt – when I couldn’t seem to “make” myself happy, and had no control over what was going on inside my head. And I remembered the pledge I’d made to myself at the end of that long, dark time when I had a choice again: So long as I had a choice, I would never, ever choose sadness over joy. And right that moment, I let go of the crankiness, and, watching the leaves flicker on that tree outside the window, chose to enjoy my time at the restaurant.

The Year of Insanity was a whopper for me. I’d never experienced anything like it before – and don’t see a need to ever experience anything like it again 🙂 – but, looking back, I am convinced that I needed to go through that time. I learned so much from it – one of the chief things being that even when I’m depressed, I can be happy – even when I’m sad, I can experience joy. Another important lesson was that the pain passes – always, always. It doesn’t last forever. I learned I was strong. I learned I could survive.

There were certain things during that year that seemed to bring me peace when i looked on them. I can’t tell you why my distressed thought was comforted by these things – why they were the objects that seemed to calm me during that time – but I can tell you what they were: The leaves on that particular tree outside the Italian restaurant; sailboats on the bay; my hands; butterflies and dragonflies; seagulls in flight; and big bright sunflowers.

One of the things that happened to me during that time – and that has stayed with me – is that I began to – I was forced to, really – tune in more intensely to the beauty around me – I began to notice things in my surroundings that I might have just walked by in the past: Little insects on flowers; all the varied colors in the sky and water; clouds – I’d never so appreciated clouds before this time! The insanity forced me to live moment-by-moment, taking each moment one at a time – being grateful to have survived that moment before moving on to the next one. I learned to stop the constant dialogue in my head by taking a deep breath and focusing on the gifts of that moment – the dragonfly over the water; the sailboat gliding by; the flickering leaves on the tree. “Thank you, God, thank you, God, thank you, God” became my mantra. 

And one day I woke up and came back to myself.  I remember walking down the ramp toward the boardwalk – the bay stretched out in front of me, and a ray of sunlight breaking through the clouds and sparkling on the water – and I was free.

 The time to be happy is now. The place to be happy is here. – Robert Green Ingersoll

 Step by step will those who trust Him find that “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” – Mary Baker Eddy

(More about the Year of Insanity can be found in The Madcap Christian Scientist’s Middle Book.)

http://www.amazon.com/Madcap-Christian-Scientists-Middle-Book/dp/1477442456/ref=tmm_pap_title_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1378217527&sr=8-1

Sheer shameless schmaltz…

A year ago a friend of mine introduced me to the music of Jason Mraz. It is sheer shameless schmaltz and, being the schmaltz-monger I am, I love it.

One of his songs is called “I Won’t Give Up” and when I heard the chorus I realized I was listening to more than your basic love song. It seemed clear – to me, at least – that this was a promise to our world, and a love song to humanity:

I don’t wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I’m here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use
The tools and gifts we got, yeah, we got a lot at stake
And in the end, you’re still my friend at least we did intend
For us to work we didn’t break, we didn’t burn
We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what I’ve got, and what I’m not, and who I am

I won’t give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I’m giving you all my love
I’m still looking up, still looking up.

Ahem. And it just so happens that my dear friend, Kathi, from Nova Scotia turned me on to a karaoke site last week… and it just so happens that Jason Mraz’s melody was on there!… and soooo… one thing led to another, and the next thing you know… yeah… here I am in all my schmaltzy glory:

http://www.singsnap.com/karaoke/watchandlisten/play/c386693c8

I won’t give up on us. 🙂

‘…you own your career!”

The biggest mistake you can make is to believe that you are working for somebody else. Job security is gone. The driving force of a career must come from the individual. Remember: Jobs are owned by the company – you own your career! – Earl Nightingale

Don’t ever let economics alone determine your career or how you spend the majority of your time. – Denis Waitley

Communication – the human connection – is the key to personal and career success. – Paul J. Meyer

***

A career is a precious thing – a gift I’m not sure I’ve always appreciated when I was  performing “A Job” – following orders, meeting “expectations,” carrying out “duties” – encumbered by the fear of losing my job if I didn’t follow orders. But those times when I’ve been inspired to go beyond the duties, expectations, and orders, and to overcome the fear of losing my economic security – those times when I’ve been more concerned about doing the right thing than “meeting expectations”  – those are the times when I’ve felt ownership of my career, and gratitude for it.  Those are the times when I honored the gift that had been given me.

And when, a couple years ago, I found myself in a position that no longer felt useful – and that didn’t build that “human connection” that Paul J. Meyer refers to in the quote above – I had no reluctance in leaving that financially-secure position for another that pays less, but gives me the opportunity to help my community. It took me awhile to reach that point, but once I did it was the most natural thing in the world to move on from one thing to the next. Without fear.

In Retrospection and Introspection, Mary Baker Eddy writes, “Each individual must fill his own niche in time and eternity.”  Note that Eddy doesn’t say an individual “might” – but “must” – fill his own niche in “time and eternity.”  It’s not like this is an optional thing. We all MUST be where we’re meant to be.

And in the book, Lectures and Article on Christian Science, Edward Kimball writes, “It is probable that there will come a time when you will be in quest of professional or business occupation; when you will be in want of a situation. Let us assume that you will be entitled to it and that it will be right for you to be employed righteously and profitably. Such an assumption as this carries with it scientifically the conclusion that if it is right for you to have such a thing, that thing must be in existence and must be available…One of the most influential human conditions is the one which I will call expectancy…You are entitled to the fullness and ampleness of life, but you will need to learn that gloomy foreboding never solves a problem and never releases the influences that make for your largest prosperity and advantage.”

It’s natural for us to fill our own niche, to find the gift of our own careers. We shouldn’t be surprised to find ourselves in the “right place.” We MUST fill our own niche. You were meant to have the career that brings you joy and satisfaction, that uses your talents, and that brings good to the world.