Category Archives: humor

Last Night I Learned Liz Passed On

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June 1:
Last night I learned my friend Liz passed on Friday. I’d just sent her a card the week before. I hope she got it. When I think of Liz, the first thing I picture is the laughter in her eyes. Liz knew how to laugh, and she knew how to make me laugh. She actually appears in a couple of my books. Here’s an excerpt from The Madcap Christian Scientist: All Things New:

Last year I served another term as first reader at the local Christian Science church. For those of you who aren’t familiar with Christian Science church services, the first reader puts together the readings and conducts the mid-week testimony meetings, and, together with the second reader, presents the weekly lesson-sermon on Sundays…

…I could not have asked to have a better partner on the podium. Liz served as second reader last year, and she is a joy – fun, smart, great sense of humor – and she’s a really classy dresser, too (which sort of balances out my own “dang!-what-do-I-have-to-wear-that’s-clean?” look).

Most Sundays Liz beat me to church, and had already put the hymn numbers up for me, had her second reader stuff laid out on the podium, and was looking classy and put-together when I came bursting through the door.

But there was one Sunday when I actually beat her by about ten minutes! I was feeling pretty smug about it, too. “Liz! I got here before you this morning! Aren’t you proud of me?”

“Yes,” Liz said, “I’m very proud of you. Every day I pray, ‘God, please help Karen get her shit together this week’ and I’m so glad to see my prayers worked.”

Ohmygosh. The laughter just burst from me – I was laughing so hard I bent up double and had to wipe the tears from my face. I had a hard time keeping a straight face during the service that day. I still get a grin on my face when I think about Liz’s response to me.

Liz is exactly the kind of person I’d like to see reading from every Christian Science podium.

(From The Madcap Christian Scientist: All Things New)

***

And here’s a dialogue between Liz and another friend, Karen Ann, when I posted a sale that Google was having on me a couple of years ago (I’ll attach the photo of “the sale” in the comments below):

Elizabeth E. Fisher
I’ll have 2. And can I get those gift wrapped?

Karen Ann
You’re giving them away???

Elizabeth E. Fisher
Karen Ann actually, I’m going to raffle them off!😄

Karen Ann
Wow! You’ll be able to retire to like a desert trailer park or something! Wish I’d thought of that!!!.

Elizabeth E. Fisher
Raffle tickets are $1.00 a piece or 4 for $5.00. How many do you want? Desert trailer parks aren’t cheap!

Karen Ann
I’ll take two at the 4/$5 rate. That’s $2.37 I think.

Elizabeth E. Fisher
Depends on whether you are paying in bitcoin or greenbacks.

The Madcap Christian Scientist Books

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There are now four books in the Madcap Christian Scientist series (five if you count *The Madcap Christian Scientist’s Christmas Book*). Here’s the intro to the first book:

Years ago an old boyfriend said to me, “I can’t see that Christian Science has made you any better than anyone else.”

“I know!” I said, nodding my head in complete and happy agreement, “But can you imagine what I’d be like without it?!”

He raised his eyebrows and laughed. What could he say? He was looking at a self-centered, moralistic, stubborn idealist who saw everything in terms of black and white. But I could have been worse. I believe without Christian Science I would have been worse.

Let’s get one thing clear from the start: I am not the best example of a Christian Scientist. I’m not as disciplined as I could be. I have fears and worries and doubts. I’m a little neurotic. I am the Lucy Ricardo of Christian Scientists.

I should probably put in a disclaimer here, too—the views expressed in these pages are not necessarily the views shared by other Christian Scientists. Christian Scientists are really a pretty diverse group of people—there are Democrat Christian Scientists and Republican Christian Scientists, “Green,” and “Red,” and “Blue” Christian Scientists, and Christian Scientists with no political affiliations at all. Frankly, I like that about us. We keep each other on our toes.

I should also tell you that this book is not an authorized piece of Christian Science literature. If you want to actually study Christian Science you should probably read the textbook for this way of life, Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy.

My purpose for writing this epistle is really two-fold (I don’t think I’ve ever used the word “two-fold” in my life, and using it now is making me feel sort of professorial. I like the feeling.):

First-foldly, to introduce you to one Christian Scientist so that if you ever hear someone talking fearfully and ignorantly (feargnorantly?) about Christian Scientists you’ll be in a position to say, “I have a friend who’s a Christian Scientist, and, although it’s true she’s a bit of a nut, she’s also…” and you can go on and talk about how your friend has used her study of Christian Science to try to make the world a happier place.

Second-foldly, I feel the need to acknowledge God’s blessings in my life. I don’t want to be like those nine lepers in the Bible who couldn’t take the time to thank Jesus for healing them. I want to be like that one leper who “fell down on his face at his feet” before Jesus and gave him thanks (Luke 17). Through my study of Christian Science I’ve witnessed some incredible proofs of our Father-Mother God’s love for Her creation in my life. God has filled my life with infinite blessings and it’s time for me to acknowledge these blessings to others.
-Karen Molenaar Terrell

A Political Homophone Story

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Eye believe it is thyme wants again four a homophone story:

Wants upon a thyme their lived a little buoy who wanted too grow up two bee famous and admired. He spent all his thyme working two reach this goal buy yelling his name from the rooftops and telling people how grate he was – “Eye am the best they’re ever was!” he yelled, hoping people wood believe hymn. “Know won has ever done a better job than mi!” he crowed. Know won was exactly sure what he had done or inn what weigh he was better than anywon else, butt after a while folks started to believe hymn when he said he was the best.

Inn the next village over their lived another little buoy who wanted too grow up and make the whirled a better place. He spent all his thyme working two reach this goal buy bee-ing kind and fair too everywon he met, and helping others when he could. He didn’t have thyme two shout his name from the rooftops, butt the people he helped remembered hymn. They remembered hymn when he served in the Navy and exposed hymnself too radiation inn a nuclear power plant and saved mini lives. They remembered hymn when he helped build houses fore them. They remembered hymn as kind and brave.

When these to little buoys grew up they both became presidents of there country – won of them ran too make the whirled a better place and the other ran too bee admired – butt they each only served won term befour they were voted out of office.

The man who had wanted two make the whirled a better place kept working too make the whirled a better place after he was know longer president. He still built houses for the pour and worked four peace in the whirled.

The man who had wanted too bee famous and admired continued two shout his name from the rooftops, and he continued two bee famous, and he continued two bee admired buy sum.

They both got what they wanted in this life.

The end.

New Book: Cosmic Kinship

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I have a new book on the market. It’s the second book in my Cosmic Celebrations series and I had such fun putting this one together – so many good memories of meeting new friends and reconnecting with old friends. Cosmic Kinship: Celebrating Community can be found on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and most bookstores. If you click on the “Look Inside” link or “Read sample” on this link, you can read a free sample.

First Review for *Looking Forward*!

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Looking Forward: More Adventures of the Madcap Christian Scientist has its first review on Goodreads! I’m sitting here, all teary-eyed and grateful for the kindness in this review.

Maryjmetz writes:

“Karen Molenaar Terrell’s latest, Looking Forward, is another pretty darned inspiring and comforting book. It covers the period between 2014 and 2023 so, as she herself notes, an eventful period in every way: the death of both her parents, a world-wide pandemic, a certain President and his followers. The individual pieces were written as events happened so Karen doesn’t necessarily know how things are going to turn out any more than the reader does, but she generally manages to convey her expectation that things will be okay. More to the point, she acts in such a way as to somehow make things turn out okay. Without being preachy in any way, she shares her belief – no, models her belief—that Love is in ultimate control, while her own day-to-day actions make the world better: buying shoes for someone in need, teaching at an alternative high school, treating the other candidates with respect when running for her local school board, or just appreciating the beauty that exists everywhere.

“What I love about Karen’s writing is how genuine and truthful she always is; she isn’t some starry-eyed innocent who believes everything she is told nor is she ever full of herself for being so clever (but when you read about all the stuff she teaches at that alternative high school you recognize there’s not much she doesn’t know or can’t do). She acknowledges her own doubts and her own failings, but seemingly never lets that stop her from doing what she thinks is right. Her positive outlook, a result in part of her Christian Scientist beliefs, never feels forced and so she somehow manages to make me feel more positive and hopeful when I read her, though I don’t share her faith and, in general, tend towards pessimism.

“I wish I. could do the spirit of the book justice with this write-up, but I’m not the writer that Karen is.”

When You Google Yourself…

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New Madcap Christian Scientist Book

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So this is what I’ve been working on the last month or so. A new book – Looking Forward: More Adventures of the Madcap Christian Scientist.

It would be a spectacular understatement to say that there have been some new developments since my last Madcap Christian Scientist book, The Madcap Christian Scientist: All Things New, published in 2014. Since that book, my parents moved from their home of 48 years; my mom died; my dad died; friends died; pets died; I retired; the world experienced a pandemic; my country survived an insurrection; new pets arrived; the sons found life-partners and had pandemic weddings; and we have a new grandchild on the way. For example.

And through all the “new developments” I have felt Love with me – guiding and directing me, comforting me, and connecting me to my fellow passengers on this boat of life as we forge our way through high waves.

We have some catching up to do, my friends.

This is the fourth book in the series. In order:
Blessings: Adventures of a Madcap Christian Scientist (2005)
The Madcap Christian Scientist’s Middle Book (2012)
The Madcap Christian Scientist: All Things New (2014)
Looking Forward: More Adventures of the Madcap Christian Scientist (2023)

The Madcap Christian Scientist’s Middle Book (a collection of Christmassy stories) (2014)

(Also available on Kindle.)

Thyme four a Homonymese Tail

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Thyme fore a homonymese tail, write?

Wants upon a thyme their lived a we buoy named Peat. Peat liked two run threw the fourest inn the mourning when the mist was still lifting from the earth and the day creatures were just waking up. Hee wood all weighs run two the top of the hill too watch the sun rise over the land below hymn.

Won mourning hee saw TOO suns rise over the land.

(Eye am now going two end this won like every student at sum point in grade school has ended an impossible story.)

And then hee woke up.

-Karen Molenaar Terrell

The First Word

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Here’s the link to the podcast.

Me, thinking.

Who spoke the first word
and who first heard?
Was it a word of warning?
Or a word of love?
Was it a grunt of fear,
or a coo like a dove?
Was the word-creator
the one who noised first
or the noise-imitator?
And how quickly
did that first word spread?
Did it crawl or leap
from head to head?
Over a million years passed
from the first word to Wordle
where you succed by jumping
over five-letter hurtles.

Me, thinking.

-Karen Molenaar Terrell

Stuck in the Wordle Vortex: A Poem

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beach leach reach teach?
strain the cerebral cortex
baste haste paste taste?
I’m stuck in a wordle vortex
moose mouse goose house?
what are the missing letters?
train trail brain frail?
need to break these wordle fetters

-Karen Molenaar Terrell