
Don’t Assume
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When someone says something like, “All Republicans are…” or “All Democrats are…” or “All Christians are…” or “All Muslims are…” or “All Mexicans are…” or “All atheists are…” – when whole groups of people are lumped together as if they all feel, think, and believe the exactly same things just because they share the same label – that is called stereotyping. Stereotyping is a sign of bigotry. I really, really hate bigotry.
“It’s a very important thing to learn to talk to people you disagree with.” – Pete Seeger
I remember on Election Day when I was a little girl my mom and dad would go off in a car together to vote. My Dad supported one political party, and my mom supported another – but they cheerfully got in the car together and went to the polls to cancel out each others’ votes. They weren’t angry with each other because they disagreed about politics. They didn’t yell at each other, call each other names, cuss each other out, or think the other person was somehow an inferior human being – lacking in intelligence, reason, logic, and good sense. Nope. They loved each other. They respected each other. Although they’ve since then become members of the same party, at that time, they totally disagreed with each other about American politics – and it was alright.
They were a wonderful example to me.
Although one of my parents was, then, a Republican, and the other was a Democrat, although one was religious, and the other not – they shared the same values. Both my parents valued honesty, integrity, kindness, generosity, fair play, compassion, the beauties of Nature, and having a good sense of humor about oneself. They brought their children up to value those things, also.
Here are some useful things I learned about the exchange of ideas and opinions from watching my parents interact with each other:
– Be kind.
– Play fair.
-Laugh at your own nonsense, before you laugh at someone else’s.
-Sometimes saying you’re sorry is the most important thing you can contribute to a conversation.
-Avoid hearsay.
-Don’t assume that a person is lacking in intelligence or reason just because he or she disagrees with you.
-Listen.
-I’m really grateful I grew up with the parents I did. I think it would be a marvelous thing if everyone treated each other with the same respect my parents gave to each other as they drove off to the polls on election day.

My friend, Elizabeth, has a wonderful new son-in-law named Juan. Yesterday a woman talking to Juan on the phone told him that he needed to lose his accent because that could be a problem for him now. Juan doesn’t have an accent. He was born in the USA. All the woman knew about Juan, really, was that he had a Spanish name. Elizabeth had a chance to meet the woman when she came to her house later. Elizabeth let the woman know that they like Juan just as he is and there’s nothing at all he needs to change about himself. Elizabeth’s family uses the “safety pin” for each other – “We need to bring out a safety pin for… ” – to show support for each other and listen to each other.
By the way, my friend, Elizabeth, is a Republican and voted for Donald Trump. We do not agree on politics, but we share the same feelings about bigotry and hatred, and I’m really glad to know her.
She gave me permission to share this story.
“The weapons of bigotry, ignorance, envy, fall before an honest heart.”
– Mary Baker Eddy
A friend of mine shared this story on her FB wall, and gave me permission to share it here. I’m not going to use her name – out of respect for her privacy – but she is one of the most amazing human beings I have ever known. A couple days ago she was called a ‘fucking retard’ by someone she’d never met. And today THIS happened:
“Today I went to the craft store with my big sis. I needed some supplies to finish a present we are making for my mom. We were looking for a specific paint, and couldn’t find it, so we were methodically going through each row looking for it. (The paints had all gotten mixed together on the shelf). I guess this guy really wanted a turn to look, but I didn’t know. He hadn’t said excuse me, or I would have moved and let him have a turn. He ended up MOVING MY WHEELCHAIR. For able body folks: this is the equivalent of someone picking you up and physically moving you.
“My sister was at the other end of the aisle and she heard my ‘How dare you!’ She came flying down the aisle but before she got there, this big guy stepped in front of the other guy and said calmly ‘I think you owe this miss an apology. You violated her space. You just needed to say excuse me.’
“The guy that moved me huffed and stormed off, giving me the finger.
“The big dude looked at me and so sweetly pointed to his safety pin and said ‘I’ve got your back’ and left as I was thanking him.
“But then faith in humanity was restored…while one was horridly rude, another went out of his way to help. I am going to focus on that.
“One good thing from this election: People physically wearing pins to let others know they will help, that they care. The massive amount of people standing up and saying ‘I will stand by you. I will help protect you.
“That part is pretty amazing to me.”
I am typing one-handed at the moment because I have a kitty purring under my chin. She is watching my fingers move on the keyboard. She seems fascinated with the workings of humans and their machinery. She is keeping me sane.
And now a prayer: Please, Love, give me courage. Fill my heart with kindness and hope. Help me nurture what is good in the world. Help me heal what is not.
Amen.

I have been reluctant to share this – because I don’t want it to come across as trivializing our current circumstances or anything – but… this morning I was sort of going through my despondent mantra of the week: “We are living in dangerous times. We are living in challenging times. We are living in precarious times…” and this came into my thought: WE ARE LIVING IN RIDICULOUS TIMES. And it just… it lifted something from me, you know? It gave me a moment where I could laugh in the face of the mean-ness and hate trying to intimidate us all – and I could say, “I ain’t ascared of you!” And I really needed that.
In the last several days I’ve been sort of toying with the idea of moving my family and myself to New Zealand. Beautiful country. The Fellowship of the Ring was filmed there. Big mountains. Nice people. They speak English there – which would be convenient.
But then I realized that the issues that we’re dealing with here in the States are the same issues our entire world is dealing with right now – racism, sexism, bigotry, hate. This is global. We are all of us up against the wall and we each have to do our part to heal these problems from wherever we are. We can’t escape this confrontation between good and evil. There’s no place we can go that’s safer than where we already are.
And I found this realization strangely comforting.
Wherever we are – Love is there. Wherever we are – Truth is there. Love fills all space and time. There is no place safer than where I am.

My young friend, William, a fellow Christian Scientist, gave me permission to share this post. It was the first post I stumbled upon when I awakened in the middle of the night all shivering and scared a couple days ago. I found it really helpful. I’m hoping it will be helpful to you, too –
“It’s taken me a while to process my thoughts on recent events, as I’m sure is also the situation with many of you. I am really trying to apply my faith to this situation and see the good at work- it’s hard, but it’s worth it. I’ve been holding to the concept that ‘Divine Love alone governs man…’
“Every generation faces a challenge. 70 years ago, the Greatest Generation faced the spread of fascism over the globe and rose to the occasion- nothing like it has been seen before or since. This is our moment where we get to decide if we are the next greatest generation, or the ‘whatever’ generation that didn’t get out and vote in great enough numbers to stop this from happening. We are confronted with a frightening human picture- one where an administration that bases its power on xenophobia, hatred, racism, sexism, homophobia and dismissal of sexual assault has taken over all the branches of our government. But if we are afraid, then that means we have truly lost. As long as we don’t let fear win, there is hope. I know I’m preaching to the choir here, but it is our responsibility to ensure that our friends and neighbors are kept safe and loved, that our environment is not destroyed, that entire groups of people are not deported, demonized, and victimized, and that our country doesn’t turn to the dystopian future that seems so popular in Hollywood these days. If the law and the government won’t protect everyone in the United States, we will. We can’t leave for Canada or anywhere else. We have to stay and fight. But we can’t fight fire with fire. Hatred must be met with love, fear must be met with courage, violence must be met with forgiveness and peace.
“Along these lines, we can’t stoop to demonizing people, especially if we are resisting an administration that got where it is by doing so. We need to acknowledge the good in everyone and find ways to constructively work together, without excusing bad behavior. Half of our country isn’t monsters. I still believe that. And many positions that those take on the opposing side are understandable and sometimes even laudable. I myself was nominally a moderate before the last few months permanently changed how I viewed this country. We must strive to understand what led them to make this decision and find ways to constructively address their grievances. At the same time, it is up to our generation to finally confront and permanently destroy the systemic racism, bigotry, intolerance, sexism, homophobia, and xenophobia that is still apparently a major part of the fabric of this country. Previous generations have tried and have made great strides- now we must finish the race. It’s heartening to me that, if only under-25 votes had been counted, she would have won over 500 electoral votes. This demonstrates to me that there is hope in our generation.
“I still believe that we have a shining future ahead of us. One where we are completely powered by sustainable energy, where we have advanced technologically and spiritually enough to stop destroying our environment, where our nation has grown up enough to look past outward appearances and different opinions and love everybody, no exceptions, where we have left Earth and explored the stars, where we have saved all of God’s precious endangered creations here on Earth, where nobody goes hungry or without needed care, where the income gap is narrowed, and where anybody can be anything they want. All of this WILL happen if we make it happen. Let us take this election as a wakeup all that galvanizes us to redouble our efforts towards a brighter future. We CAN do it!
“Fight the good fight, and surely we shall prevail!”
– William Whittenbury

