Adventures of the Madcap Christian Scientist

Karen Molenaar Terrell

Adventures of the Madcap Christian Scientist

A Friend Sent Me an Exchange We Shared Years Ago (and it made me teary)

Today a friend I met on the Amazon Discussion Forums years ago emailed me a copy of an exchange we’d had about Christian Science on the Religion Forum. What made this exchange so remarkable for me was that my friend – who went by the moniker “tokolosi” – wasn’t himself a Christian Scientist, but his questions were genuine and he actually listened to what I had to say. It meant a lot, to me, that he’d saved this exchange from long ago, and took the time to send it to me today. I hadn’t heard from my friend for maybe a year, so his email was unexpected. I needed hope for our world today, and “tokolosi” sent it to me.

(I love the summation our friend “Aardwizzz” gives to the whole exchange, too. It was fun to see his voice pop up there at the end.)

From an Amazon Religion Forum exchange:

Karen Wingoof (me) says:

There seems to be an assumption here that everyone who calls himself or herself a Christian is a creationist, in battle against logic, reason, education, and the science of evolution.

A few months ago—from sheer weariness at being constantly lumped in with the doings and beliefs of conservative Christians—and being expected to either defend them or change them—I decided I would no longer identify myself as a Christian, but as a “Karenian”—no longer responsible for anyone else’s foibles, flaws, beliefs, thoughts, and behaviors but my own. I’ve kind of enjoyed the freedom this has brought me. But, to be completely honest, although I’ve changed the label for myself, I still hold the same beliefs I held when I called myself a “Christian”—and I never held the belief that evolution and science were my enemies. In fact, most of my friends who still identify themselves as Christian believe in the workings of evolution—I can’t think of any friends who might believe humans and dinosaurs roamed the earth together like The Flintstones.

Regarding my thoughts on Christian Science: In my mind I’ve come to separate Christian Science into two separate parts—there’s CS the religion; and there’s CS as a way of perceiving the world and a way of living. The religion doesn’t really hold much interest for me these days. I’m just not a very religious person (Humoristianity excepted). I’m not into group-think, group-talk, or group-walk. I like having the freedom to follow my own path, and I will never be made to feel responsible for other people’s beliefs or actions—whether they call themselves Christian Scientists, Christians, theists, or Humoristians. I think any sane person recognizes that you’ll find crazies in pretty much every group—and I think any fair and just person would agree that whole groups of people shouldn’t be judged by the actions of the extremists within their membership.

CS as a way of life—as a way of perceiving life—has brought me a lot of good. The practice of CS has taught me how to bring my thoughts close to God—to Love and Truth—and how to experience healing by doing so. I’ve witnessed or experienced healings of (among other things) mastoiditis (the healing was instantaneous—one moment my little brother was screaming in pain, the next moment he was snoring and sleeping and completely healed), bronchitis; an inflamed hand (markers in a blood test indicated rheumatoid arthritis—but, after calling a CS practitioner for support the hand deflated within a couple days and I’ve never experienced a repeat of that condition in the three years since then); the natural delivery of my youngest son after I’d been wheeled down to the OR for a caesarean (one of the nurses was crying—she said she’d never been able to witness a natural delivery before and it was so beautiful); and what my eye doctor said was a melanoma on my eyelid. (I recently asked for a copy of my medical records from the family physician just to make sure I’d remembered all this stuff correctly and hadn’t inadvertently made any of it up—and the records substantiate my memory of events.) I’ve also experienced healings of clinical depression, and healings in relationships, supply, and employment. So. Yeah. I’ve been able to prove, for myself, the healing power found in Love and Truth.

Whew. That took some time and thought. How’d I do? 🙂

Shoot! My battery’s almost dead. I guess I better post this before my computer goes kapooey here.

tokolosi says:

Karen, I’m a bit confused. (OK, in addition to my normal state…) I don’t know much if anything about CS, but for instance, you said “after calling a CS practitioner for support” such and such occurred. What did calling this person accomplish (I mean besides the healing, or why did calling this person make it happen)? And, with the other miraculous healings, what was it that brought about the outcomes? I mean, did you or others “pray” or “lay on hands” or some such? Do you pray to “God” (or more specific, what you perceive is the Christian God)? No snark intended here. Genuinely curious. Thnx.

Karen Wingoof says:

No snark taken. 🙂

(Got my computer plugged-in now, so it should be good. I am starting to run out of energy, though, so… zzzzzzzzz)

For CSists prayer doesn’t mean pleading, cajoling, or begging some higher power to fix everything. What it really means—for me, anyway—is just filling my thoughts up with love, joy, forgiveness, hope, confidence, courage—and when I’m able to do this, I experience healing.

In the case of my puffed-up hand I’d gone to work and shown my hand to my colleagues who expressed a lot of concern for me and shared stories about allergic reactions and infections that had almost killed loved ones—they had me pretty scared—and so I went to the family physician to have it checked-out. He usually jokes around with me, but this time he did not joke. He said that it looked like I had either a serious infection or a serious reaction of some kind and wanted to take blood samples and put me on medications. I told him I didn’t want to take any drugs until I knew for sure what was going on, but I agreed to let them take blood samples. Then I went home and called a CS practitioner. What the practitioner did for me was—well, I remember just feeling this confidence coming from her. I remember laughing with her. The next morning my hand was even more puffed-up, but I wasn’t scared anymore. I knew I was healed even before my hand looked normal. And by the second morning after I’d called the practitioner it had deflated and I was fine.

I called the doctor’s office to get the results of the blood test, and the receptionist told me the blood test indicated markers for rheumatoid arthritis and they wanted me to get in touch with a rheumatoid specialist. I told her I was completely fine. She was shocked. She brought a nurse to the phone. I told the nurse I was fine, and she sort of paused—I could tell she was surprised—and told me that she guessed I didn’t have to do anything more right then, but to let them know if the condition returned—which it hasn’t.

When I was being wheeled to the OR for a C-section, I asked my mom to call a CS practitioner for support—my mom said the practitioner told her, with conviction, “God loves that baby!” The doctors hooked me up to a machine to monitor the baby. I could feel the love in the room—the love from the medical staff—and I had this sense that everything was moving in harmony with Love. Just before they were going to slice me open, the doctors got these surprised looks on their faces, and then they started yelling, “Push! Push!” And the baby was born naturally. Later, when I asked my midwife why I’d been able to have my son naturally, she said, “We don’t know.”

CSists don’t consider healings to be miracles, by the way. CSists see healings as natural and normal and to be expected—the natural outcome of a change of thought.

tokolosi says:

“CSists don’t consider healings to be miracles, by the way. CSists see healings as natural and normal and to be expected—the natural outcome of a change of thought.”

Excellent! (So is the rest.) Mirrors my own thoughts. (Though not associated with any formal/structured philosophy, i.e., “tokolosi 101.”)

Karen Wingoof says:

Ohmygosh, I’m so glad to hear that, tokolosi! I was really nervous about that post. To be honest, I was sorely tempted to just ignore your questions because I suspect that when I talk about this stuff I usually just end up looking like more of a nut than people already know I am. Thanks for asking, and thanks for being so gracious about the answer. 🙂

tokolosi says:

To me, the healings you describe are “miraculous” but not *miracles*. Way-cool s*** happens because we are human, and can happen for sometimes uncanny inexplicable reasons many times associated with focused intention. But nothing “supernatural” is necessary—it’s just part of the *Human* Experience. (Not-very-well articulated tokolosi 101.)

Aardwizzz says:

Well done, tokolosi, well done. Instead of trying to fit Karen’s experience into your worldview, you attempt to fit your experiences into her worldview. And she had done the same for you as she was relating her tale: telling it without expecting anyone to share the belief that goes behind it. I think that’s called “communication,” but I’m not sure, as I see so little of it these days.

Conversation about Christian Science on a Discussion Board

What prayer feels like, for me, is… it’s like waking up to a beautiful sunrise in the morning or listening to an inspiring piece of music, or looking at the stars on a clear night – it’s a feeling of uplift – of thoughts soaring, of fear dissipating, of a consciousness full of joy and good will. Often times my prayers come with humor – laughing always seems to help get rid of fear for me – and for me, fear is always a part of whatever problem I’m facing. And Love is always a part of the healing. I’ve sometimes known I was healed before I saw the healing manifested humanly – I could feel the change in my thoughts. 
– Karen Molenaar Terrell 

Every now and then something really amazing happens – people with different perspectives on life will get beyond biases, prejudices, and stereotypes and have a real conversation with each other! I love when that happens…

Here are excerpts from a recent conversation about Christian Science on an Amazon Discussion Forum:

Mustaaaaard says:
Yeah. Christian Science. The people who let their children die because they don’t believe in Tylenol. Eff off.

Karen says:
I was raised by a CS mom (now 87) and a non-religious dad (will be 97 in a month), and I could not have asked for better parents. My parents maybe didn’t share the same religious beliefs, but they shared the same values and taught their children to take care of the environment, to appreciate the beauty of nature, to look for the good in people, to play fair, to not be quick to judge others, to not buy into every piece of hearsay, rumor, and gossip that comes our way, but to do our own research, and question our own beliefs and biases, and recognize the biases of others, too. I’m really grateful they are still in my life.

The Weasel asks:

Karen, can the core beliefs of CS be boiled down to a few bullet points? Can you try to list them as far as you understand them to be please?

Karen says:
Hi Weasel,
It’s probably important to note that I am not an official spokesperson for the CS church or anything – and I do not speak for any other CSists – just for myself. CSists come in all shapes and sizes and colors and political parties and most professions (I even knew a CSist who was a dentist 🙂 ). There’s no one in our church leadership telling us how to vote or who to vote for or where to stand on social-political issues – that is left up to individual conscience. Some CSists are religious. Some are not. I am not. In my mind I make a distinction between the religion of Christian Science, and Christian Science as a way of living, and a way of looking at the world. 

It might actually be easier to start with what CSists don’t believe:
– CSists don’t believe in an anthropomorphic god
– CSists don’t believe the world was literally created in a week
– CSists don’t believe in literal places of hell and heaven
– CSists don’t believe in pleading, cajoling, and begging a capricious supernatural god who might choose to heal, or might choose to not heal his children
– CSists don’t believe in Original Sin, or that God’s children are sinners.

What CSists believe:
– Mary Baker Eddy, the discover of CS, offers these synonyms for God: Principle, Mind, Soul, Spirit, Life, Truth, and Love.
– CSists believe that Jesus’ mission here was to show us how to heal. In the CS textbook, Eddy writes: “Atonement is the exemplification of man’s unity with God, whereby man reflects divine Truth, Life, and Love. Jesus of Nazareth taught and demonstrated man’s oneness with the Father, and for this we owe him  endless homage. His mission was both individual and collective. He did life’s work aright not only in justice to himself, but in mercy to mortals,- to show them how to do theirs, but not to do it for them nor to relieve them of a single responsibility.”

What *I* have experienced: – I have found that when I’m able to draw my thoughts close to Love – to fill my thoughts up with joy, hope, and love (and eliminate fear, hate, and anger) – I experience healing in my life. I don’t have to plead with Love to heal me – it’s the nature of Love to heal. I don’t consider these healings “miracles” – I consider them natural. I apologize. I realize this was kind of long. I couldn’t figure out how to explain an entire way of life in a pithy post. Hope this helps you understand how at least ONE Christian Scientist looks at the world. And thanks for asking! 🙂
Karen  

Lifelong Atheist says:
There is no evidence whatsoever that prayer works at all (and no, “I prayed and God healed my little girl” is not evidence). There is plenty of evidence that medical care works, preventable errors notwithstanding. I can personally testify to that. Christian Science parents who deliberately withhold medical care from their children in favor of prayer are potential murderers. If their child then dies, they’re actual murderers. That’s the bottom line for me.

Karen says:
Lifelong,
I suppose there may be CSists who view medical science as The Enemy. I am not one of them. My brother-in-law is an anesthesiologist, my sister-in-law is an emergency room nurse, a niece is a medical doctor, a nephew just graduated from med school – and these are all people I love and respect very much – they are not my enemies – they work very hard to do what they can to help their patients. But they are also all people of integrity and honesty – and I don’t doubt that they’d be the first to tell you that medical science is not perfect – theories about cause and cure are constantly in flux; medications that help one person might kill another; what seems like “good medical practice” today might prove to be the source of woe tomorrow. I’m sure we’ve all had friends and family members for whom the medical treatment that was supposed to cure them actually ended up killing them – I know I have. And I’m pretty sure we’ve all seen those commercials on television that tell us about the side effects of drugs that might include liver problems, depression, vulnerability to infections, diarrhea, nausea, death, etc. – I’m always wondering who is running out to get those medications, you know? I think a healthy skepticism in regards to medical science – as well as Christian Science, faith healing, religious beliefs, mass media, and political propoganda – is a good thing. Blind and unquestioning trust in any form of treatment does not seem very healthy to me.

Have you ever read Norman Cousins’s Anatomy of an Illness As Perceived by the Patient? I would highly recommend it.  Here’s my review for it:

In the beginning of the book, Cousins tells us about the illness from which he was told by medical specialists he wouldn’t be able to recover. He briefly describes how he declined to accept this medical verdict for himself, and with the support of his personal physician, set about putting into action a plan of treatment for himself which included plying himself with high doses of ascorbic acid (vitamin C) and humor (Candid Camera episodes, and Marx Brothers movies).Cousins was able to recover from his illness and later wrote a story about his treatment and recovery for the New England Journal of Medicine.

The remainder of the book shares communication from doctors and medical research that supports Cousins’s belief that medical care is both a science and an art – and that positive human emotions play a big part in recovery from an illness. Cousins talks about the importance of a healthy doctor-patient partnership when treating disease, the part creativity and a “robust will to live” plays in longevity, and the power found in placebos. Cousins writes: “It is doubtful whether the placebo – or any drug, for that matter – would get very far without a patient’s robust will to live… The placebo is only a tangible object made essential in an age that feels uncomfortable with intangibles… The placebo, then, is an emissary between the will to live and the body. But the emissary is expendable.”

Cousins talks about the need so many seem to have to see their doctor DOing something, and giving them something tangible to help them. But Cousins suggests there may come a time when these “tangibles” are no longer needed. 

Near the end of the book, Cousins asks the question: “Is there a conflict at times between the treatment of disease and the treatment of human beings?” What a great question! If a doctor treats his patient as just a lump of flesh to be prodded, injected, weighed, measured, and tested then, I think, a really important part of the healing process is missing. The best doctors, to my way of thinking, are the ones who are able to listen to their patients, reassure them, provide confidence in their healing, and value them as partners in the process. In my life I have encountered several practitioners with these fine qualities. After reading Cousins’s book, and the letters he included from doctors around the country, I am encouraged to believe that there is a growing number of medical physicians ready and willing to treat human beings, rather than just disease.  

Art asks:
“It might actually be easier to start with what CSists don’t believe: – CSists don’t believe in an anthropomorphic god – CSists don’t believe in pleading, cajoling, and begging a capricious supernatural god who might choose to heal, or might choose to not heal his children” OK, final question for now Karen: I always thought that Christian Scientists WERE praying and pleading with a capricious supernatural god to heal illnesses rather than take a family member to a doctor. If not, what is the exact nature of the prayer involved?

Karen replies:
Art, you ask: “I always thought that Christian Scientists WERE praying and pleading with a capricious supernatural god to heal illnesses rather than take a family member to a doctor. If not, what is the exact nature of the prayer involved?”

Thank you for asking this question. Christian Scientists have been lumped in with “faith healers” a couple times on this thread. Faith healers would not appreciate this – I’m pretty sure they consider CS a cult and its members “un-Christian” – and CSists don’t consider themselves faith healers. You wouldn’t hear a CSist ever saying “It’s God’s will” that someone died, or “God wanted that child with Him in heaven.” CSists don’t do the talking in tongues thing, or the laying on of hands thing, or the handling serpents thing. CSists may be crazy, but they are a totally different kind of crazy. 🙂

Mary Baker Eddy’s written a whole chapter on “Prayer” in the CS textbook, Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures. Here are some thoughts about prayer from that chapter: 

“God is not moved by the breath of praise to do more than He has already done, nor can the infinite do less than bestow all good, since He is unchanging wisdom and Love… Prayer cannot change the Science of being, but it tends to bring us into harmony with it… The mere habit of pleading with the divine Mind, as one pleads with a human being, perpetuates the belief in God as humanly circumscribed,- an error which impedes spiritual growth. 

“God is Love. Can we ask Him to be more? God is intelligence. Can we inform the infinite Mind of anything He does not already comprehend? Do we expect to change perfection? Shall we plead for more at the open fount, which is pouring forth more than we accept?… Are we really grateful for the good already received? …The habitual struggle to be always good is unceasing prayer… 

“‘God is Love.’ More than this we cannot ask, higher we cannot look, farther we cannot go… In divine Science, where prayers are mental, all may avail themselves of God as ‘a very present help in trouble.’ Love is impartial and universal in its adaptation and bestowals.”

What prayer feels like, for me, is… it’s like waking up to a beautiful sunrise in the morning or listening to an inspiring piece of music, or looking at the stars on a clear night – it’s a feeling of uplift – of thoughts soaring, of fear dissipating, of a consciousness full of joy and good will. Often times my prayers come with humor – laughing always seems to help get rid of fear for me – and for me, fear is always a part of whatever problem I’m facing. And Love is always a part of the healing. I’ve sometimes known I was healed before I saw the healing manifested humanly – I could feel the change in my thoughts. 

Art asks:
Personal question Karen: you don’t believe as your parents do but you still self-identify as a Christian Scientist?

Karen responds:
My dad is non-religious. My mom is… she is simply wonderful. My mom wasn’t raised in CS – she found Christian Science not long before she married my dad – she was attracted to this way of life because she liked the idea of a God who is Love – a Love that heals. She never had any kind of official position in the church or anything – like me, she is not really a very religious person. She is an independent thinker and a free spirit – not into group-think. 

I identify as a Christian Scientist because I really like the ideas and thoughts found in the CS textbook – I believe in God as Love, and I’ve experienced healing through my understanding of Love.

Art responds:
“I identify as a Christian Scientist because I really like the ideas and thoughts found in the CS textbook – I believe in God as Love, and I’ve experienced healing through my understanding of Love.”
Thanks for the insight Karen. Anyways, like many here I’ve always had a negative opinion of Christian Scientists so I appreciate an intelligent perspective from somebody like yourself.

Karen replies:
Art,
You write: “Anyways, like many here I’ve always had a negative opinion of Christian Scientists so I appreciate an intelligent perspective from somebody like yourself.” Thank you.

And thank you for asking questions with a genuine interest in learning what I had to say. That felt really good. 🙂

Buck “Buck” Buckaw says:
Michael Nesmith is a devout CS (as I’ve mentioned to you on a previous occasion) but you wouldn’t know it by listening to his music. It didn’t come to my notice until I read a biography about him.

Karen responds:
Buck “Buck” Buckaw – 
I do remember our talking about Michael Nesmith – and I remember enjoying that conversation very much. 🙂

Another one of my favorite people – an atheist, not a Christian Scientist – had this to say about Michael Nesmith: “So then, a few years ago, I was introduced to someone who became a great friend of mine, Michael Nesmith, who has done a number of different things in his career: In addition to being a film producer, he was originally one of the Monkees. Which is kind of odd when you get to know him, because he’s such a serious, thoughtful, quiet chap, but with quiet reserves of impish glee… I just hope that there will be other projects in the future that he and I will work on together, because I like him enormously and we got on very well together.” – Douglas Adams (Adams died not long after that and I don’t think he was able to work with Nesmith again – but it really meant something to me that Adams saw those qualities in Nesmith, a CSist.)

And no, you will not hear a CSist knocking at your door. 🙂 Frankly, it took me a long time before I felt comfortable “admitting” I was a CSist or talking about my way of life in an open and honest way. I know there is a lot of… not sure what the word is… misinformation? bias? prejudice?… about CS, and I’m not always eager to enter discussions about CS… sometimes – if I sense that nobody is really interested in having their minds relieved of their prejudices – I choose not to enter those discussions at all. But it felt to me like there were people on this thread who were genuine and sincere in their questions about CS. It is good to hear your voice again, my friend.  Karen

Buck “Buck” Buckaw says:
Thank you so much for your kind words, I always enjoy our exchanges immensely and recall them with fondness.
Regardless of what belief system you might adhere to, you are a shining light. Keep on shining brightly.

Karen says:
Oh, Buck “Buck” Buckaw – thank you. You don’t know what your kind words mean to me tonight. Thank you. I am so glad to know you are in the world.

Buck “Buck” Buckaw says:
OK, that’s enough of the mutual admiration society.
We risk turning the whole thing into some sort of giant hug fest and that just won’t do, particularly for the more jaundiced participants of this thrill ride. Now, what were we talking about? Oh yeah…..Christian Scientists hey? What a kooky bunch.

Karen says:
I know, right? Tell me about it. 🙂

Posts taken from this thread: http://www.amazon.com/forum/religion/ref=cm_cd_pg_pg8?_encoding=UTF8&cdForum=Fx1M9TK6UGAX6EO&cdPage=8&cdThread=Tx3ND88NVC53B3

“I’m putting you on ignore!”

The time for thinkers has come. Truth, independent of doctrines and time-honored systems, knocks at the portal of humanity.- Mary Baker Eddy

So there’s this tool you can use on the Amazon discussion forums that will allow you to “ignore the trolls” – you click this button and their posts go into hiding under a sign that says “You are ignoring this customer’s posts.” I myself am too curious to know what everyone else is saying to have much success using this tool, but those folks who aren’t as nosy as me sometimes use this device as a way to protect themselves from personalities they find disturbing for whatever reason.

Of course, there are folks who cannot resist letting the people they have on ignore know they have them on ignore (which sort of defeats the whole purpose, right?) – and then they need to let everyone ELSE know they’ve got these folks on ignore, too – so often an announcement is made to the person who is being put on ignore – an announcement everyone else can see, too: “I’m putting you on ignore!”

And so the fun continues. “Oh yeah?! Well, I put you on ignore first – so there!” “Well, if you put me on ignore how can you see my posts, eh?” “I unignored you so I could see your post telling me you’re ignoring me – and how can you see MY post if you’re ignoring me?!” And so on. Yeah. Good times. Good times.

But I recently found a thread devoted to ignoring “trolls” that gave me some pause for contemplation. Two of the posters that the people on this thread were considering “ignoring” were actually people of education (both had doctors degrees) and intelligence – people who put some thought into their posts. One of these posters identifies himself as an atheist, the other as a Christian – and, although I don’t always agree with them, I usually find something in their contributions to the forums that makes me dig deeper into my own beliefs and thoughts about God and life. Their posts make me think… which… I don’t know… but I’ve always considered that a GOOD thing, right?

So I wrote this response:

Wow. I have now read through this thread. It has been an eye-opener, for sure.

I see some of us are debating whether to put those big bad trolls H. and E. on ignore. And I say, right on! I think it’s best to always ignore intelligent, educated posters – like H. and E. – who might actually make us question our own stereotypes and biases and points of view. I mean, who really wants to spend any time in SELF-reflection when we can better spend our time telling OTHER people how to think, believe, and live, right? So I think we should all scurry off to our separate little groups, fortify our barriers, unite against people who don’t think like we do about stuff, find our scapegoats for every ill that has ever befallen the planet (this could be theists or atheists or Jews or Muslims or Christians or Democrats or Republicans or Ralph Nader, depending on one’s perspective), and ignore the hell out of them. Let’s make sure they know we’re ignoring the hell out of them, too. And let everyone else know we’re ignoring the hell out of them. And let’s gossip about them. Ooh! Ooh! Does life get any more fun than that?!! 🙂

Yeah. I know. I am such a troll.

And, after a little more “discussion” about “group-think” – the need the people on this thread seemed to have to come to a consensus about who to ignore, as opposed to deciding as independent, individuals thinkers which posters are helpful, and which aren’t, I finally was the recipient of the words: “I’m putting you on ignore!”  🙂

Weirdly, this did not have the effect the other poster was probably hoping it would have on me. I found myself smirking. Not so’s she could see – but, yeah, in the privacy of my own home I was smirking. Being put on ignore by a poster simply because I questioned her stereotypes proved what I’d long suspected: We tend to ignore those people who threaten our own comfortable view of the world – we tend to ignore voices that might force us to take stock of ourselves and… yeeks!… change the way we look at stuff. And so we band together with like-minded people – isolate ourselves and insulate ourselves from differing perspectives – and find a television “news” station or other “news” source that caters to our own little conceits, and our stereotypes of others.

It’s all so silly, ain’t it?

How are we ever going to learn and progress if we shut ourselves off from others who challenge the way we look at things?

seagull and cormorant