Navigating the Eff Bee Whitewater

I wake up and reach for my phone
to find the time
and moments later I’m bobbing
along in the Eff Bee whitewater
with my fellows posters –
good morning, world! –
and I’m trying to dodge the flotsam
and jetsam of a culture that seems
Intent on keeping the world’s
hatred and fear fueled.
I’m dodging words: “libtard” and “Karen”
and “POS” and “asshat” –
and there’s talk of violence –
mob mentality – coming from both sides –
all sides –
and, of course, there’s the logjams
of the “experts” appearing periodically
to provide background info on
the history of Nazis and the Civil War.
I was a history major myself
and I can relate to the urge to show off
my expertise on these things, but my
intuition is telling me that, for the people
flailing in the whitewater with me, now
is not the time to pause to give a history
lesson – maybe we can do that later when we
reach a quiet eddy in the river.
Right now the roiling current pulls us towards
the boulders – tribalism, greed, me-firstness,
bigotry, bullying, ego –
and I point my feet down the river
as the whitewater guides told me to do –
and I choose to keep my survival simple
for myself – Love. Love is my lifevest.
Keep it simple. I don’t have to choose sides
or who to love.
Keep it simple. I choose Love –
all-encompassing, all-enveloping,
universal, unconditional, all-inclusive Love.
I let Love guide me through the whitewater.

-Karen Molenaar Terrell

Below: Anderson Creek. Photo by Karen Molenaar Terrell.

The Need to Share What Matters

Four years ago, during the last election season, strangers would suddenly appear and comment on my public Facebook posts and they would say things with weird phrasing and syntax – stuff like “you are a big banana butt” and “you are a person brainless” – and sometimes their names were spelled with characters that are not used in the English language (μονοσε πουλι). These strangers would tell me to fu#& off and wished harm to me and my friends. It was an odd and interesting time.

I blocked those people (to block the names with weird characters I had to do a copy and paste – my keyboard doesn’t include weird characters on it) and learned from that experience to disallow commenting on my public posts from people who aren’t my friends.

I’m pretty sure now – looking back – that these strangers were not fellow citizens of my country. (Duh, right?) I’m not even sure that they were actually human beings.

I don’t want my posts to be divisive – that is not my intent. I don’t want to see my friends ganging up on each other and calling each other names. I don’t want to promote hate. I don’t want to let myself or my posts be manipulated or used to create havoc and confusion.

But.

I also have a real need to share things that matter to me; to share things that are important to me; to share the things that give me hope, and the things that feel like a punch in the gut, too; and to share things that might help us learn from each other.

I am struggling with how to proceed on Facebook. Honestly, sometimes the hate and mean-ness I encounter there is so overwhelming that I feel the need to leave. And sometimes I just get bored with myself – yada yada blah blah blah – and realize I have nothing more to add.

Anyway. We’ll see how it goes…
– Karen Molenaar Terrell