Columbus: You see? You just can’t trust anyone! The first girl I let into my life and she tries to eat me!- from  Zombieland

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Being raised in Christian Science, I guess I was sort of culturally deprived when it comes to ghosties and goblins – I’ve never believed in that stuff. And I think that’s why I was never able to get into movies like The Exorcist or Rosemary’s Baby or the recent crop of vampire dramas  – they just never made any kind of sense for me – I had no cultural context for them.  My friends would be trembling with wonderful frissons of terror as poltergeists and Satan’s spawn appeared on the screen, and I’d be sitting there trying to figure out what in the heck all the fuss was about. These things on the screen – the rotating heads and the walking dead and the wispy spirits – it was perfectly obvious, to me, that they weren’t real, that there was no reason or cause for them, and no reason to get all worked-up and freaked-out over ’em.

Nosiree, bub. If I’m going to watch a Frankenstein movie – it’s going to be Mel Brooke’s Young Frankenstein with Gene Wilder, Madeleine Kahn, and Peter Boyle. If I’m going to see a vampire movie, it’s going to be Love at First Bite with George Hamilton.  Werewolves? Yeah, give me An American Werewolf in London. Ghost stories? Give me Ghostbusters. And for zombie movies you cannot beat Zombieland. I mean, why would I want to get all ascared about something that doesn’t exist, when i could be laughing at it all instead?

Here’s wishing everyone a Halloween packed full of laughter and crazy costumes, and lots of chocolate!

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Mortals evolve images of thought. These may appear to the ignorant to be apparitions; but they are mysterious only because it is unusual to see thoughts, though we can always feel their influence. Haunted houses, ghostly voices, unusual noises, and apparitions brought out in dark seances either involve feats by tricksters, or they are images and sounds evolved involuntarily by mortal mind. – Mary Baker Eddy