Author Archives: Karen Molenaar Terrell

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About Karen Molenaar Terrell

Karen's stories have appeared in *Newsweek*, *The Christian Science Monitor*, and *Pack and Paddle Magazine* and she's the author of *Are You Taking Me Home Now?: Adventures with Dad*, *The Second Hundred Years: Further Adventures with Dad*, *The Brush of Angel Wings*, *The Madcap Christian Scientist* series, *A Poem Sits on my Windowsill*, *Finding the Rainbows: Lessons from Dad and Mom*, and co-author of *The Humoristian Chronicles: A Most Unusual Fellowship*. Her photos are featured in the spring 2014 edition of the *Bellingham Review*, and the "Photos from the Field" page of the April/May 2017, December/January 2018-2019, April/May 2019, and June/July 2020 issues of of *Mother Earth News*. Her photos can be found here: https://www.flickr.com/photos/60803140@N06/ Her books can be found here: http://www.amazon.com/Karen-Molenaar-Terrell/e/B0044P90RQ/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1?qid=1312060042&sr=8-

The Best Thing I Brought Home from the Store

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I went to Fred’s to get some ingredients I needed for Scotty’s annual birthday carrot cake. I got to the spice section and found a man of about my age scanning the shelves – I could tell he was looking for something and was coming up nada. I started scanning for the “allspice” that the recipe called for, but didn’t see it right away.

“This isn’t shelved alphabetically, is it?” I asked the man next to me – I now considered him my partner in the spice search. He laughed and observed that the spices seemed to be shelved randomly. I asked him what he was looking for, and he said he was looking for “sesame seeds” – but he thought maybe he should try the Asian food section. And just as he said that, I found the sesame seeds! I told him I was looking for “allspice” – and, in the next breath, I found it. I picked up the jar, looking for the ingredients – “What does allspice have in it?” I asked, and my teammate in the spice aisle said, “Cinnamon, I think, and cloves, and nutmeg.” I told my teammate that I already have all that stuff at home, so I guessed I didn’t really need to buy this. He pointed out that I was saving myself $12 by leaving it there.

Cool! “So are we all good here?” I asked him, smiling. He smiled back at me and said, “Yeah! Teamwork!”

(Edit: I now know that allspice is an actual spice all of its own – I love learning new stuff!)

As I was walking down the center aisle to the produce section a tall young Black man with dreadlocks and a ring through his nose locked eyes with me and there was just such joy in that moment that we both broke into big smiles – like we were old friends seeing each other again. We passed each other, smiling, and that smile from him is still buoying me up.

Scotty and I went to Chuckanut Manor to celebrate his birthday tonight. The sun was just starting to set when we got there and I asked the hostess to be seated by a window to watch the sunset. As we were sitting at our table we noticed half a dozen bald eagles playing tag with each other near the water. One of the servers saw I had my camera out and told me that the deck is always open and I could go out there to take photos if I wanted – and she led me to the door that opened onto the deck. The eagles flew by me and one of them landed in a tree near the restaurant. I could hear the eagles chirping to each other. I love that sound.

I came back in after taking a few pictures, but then went back out when I saw the eagles were up to their hijinks again. There was another customer out there when I went out the second time, and he told me what he’d just seen with the eagles. I pointed to the tree where the eagle was sitting and he turned to take pictures of it.

Scott and I had a lovely dinner, and when we were leaving I passed the man who had been watching eagles with me and thanked him for sharing that magic with me. He smiled and agreed that had been cool.

And now we’re eating carrot cake made with carrots from our garden, and apple sauce from Scott’s orchard, and spices I already had in my cupboard. And the best thing I brought home from Fred’s were the smiles I got there.

I Am My Own Country

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I am my own country,
just a visitor in this one,
passing through on my way
to home.
In my country I am enjoined
to be kind, to be honest, to share,
to dare to be fair, and to care
for those I pass on my journey.
I am my own country.
-Karen Molenaar Terrell

Going Minimalist

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Going minimal-
ist. My only task in this
moment is to breathe.
-Karen Molenaar Terrell

You Are Not Alone

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At two in the morning on the day of the election I woke up feeling like I was riding on a collective wave of joy – like I was part of a cosmic celebration. I hadn’t had that feeling before an election since… well, I don’t think I’ve ever had that feeling before an election, so I took this feeling as a good sign – as a sign that everything was going to go as I hoped it would.

And when things didn’t go as I hoped, I found myself in a crisis, wondering if everything I believe about the power of Love and Truth is a lie. Wondering if there really is a God.

What was kind of odd, though, was that – even as I was having these dark thoughts – I could feel Love with me, loving me. But I turned away from that sense of Love-with-me and tossed and turned for a while before I finally got to sleep.

Here’s what happened today:

– The youngest son called to see how I was doing and just hearing his voice through the line – and hearing his wife’s laughter in the background – lifted me up.

– I decided to go for a hike at Lake Padden. On the way I pulled over, and put my emergency lights on, to take a picture of a reflection on Lake Samish. Before I even got out of the car, another car did a u-turn and the driver – a twenty-something with piercings on her face, and a kind smile – pulled in behind me to check on me and make sure I was alright. I was so grateful for her kindness in stopping to check on me! I felt myself lifted up a bit more.

– As I sat at a picnic table at Lake Padden, a little dog named Lock trotted over to me for a pet on his back. He sat with me for several minutes as I petted him, every now and then looking up at me with a look of pure love on his face. It was like having my own emotional support dog there, comforting me with his sweetness.

– I passed a woman named April, with her dog, Aspen. Like Lock, Aspen approached me for a scratch behind the ears. And when April and I got to talking we realized we were both processing the same election shock. Pretty soon we were joined by Judy, who also was dealing with election trauma. We gave each other a group hug, and then Judy let us know that there was a young woman sitting up at the picnic table who was struggling. So April and I (and Aspen) went to join the woman at the picnic table. She was wearing a gay pride rainbow hat, and she was soon joined by two friends who let us know they were from the LGBTQ community. The woman in the rainbow hat and her friends were all feeling scared and abandoned by their country. April and I let them know that they aren’t alone – that we’re standing together with them.

– When I got home I clicked into Facebook and found my friend, Jay Bowen, had posted a post about a vigil being held at the Burlington Lutheran Church. So I zipped my jacket back on and headed for the church.

I hadn’t really cried, yet, but as soon as I entered the church I felt tears welling up in my eyes, and by the time I’d seated myself on a pew I was quietly sobbing and shaking – I hadn’t know that was in me until then. A woman in the pew ahead of me turned around and it was Becky! – a parent of one of my former eigthh graders. Becky went up to the first pew and grabbed a box of tissues for me and then came back and gave me a hug. Not long after I saw Becky, I recognized another friend, Kaci – who was seated in the second row. I approached Kaci and touched her arm, and when she turned around and saw me, her eyes opened wide and she reached out for a hug. We cried healing tears together for a couple of minutes, before I returned to my pew.

The speakers in the Lutheran church spoke of allowing people to mourn in their own way; spoke of the courage and endurance that have overcome tribulation in the past; spoke of the importance of community and family; spoke of the importance of appreciating every breath and moment; spoke of not letting ayone take our smiles and humor; and spoke of a loving God whose intent isn’t to bring us doom, but to bring healing to us and through us.

It was comforting to be with other people today who were dealing with the same things I’m dealing with.

And now, sitting here, I realize the message the Cosmos has been sending me all day: “You are not alone. The world is full of people (and pups) who care. You are loved.” And maybe that’s all the reason I need to celebrate with the Cosmos. Maybe the wave of joy I felt early in the morning on election day had nothing to do with the election, and everything to do with divine Love. Love is not dependent on human circumstances, and we can never be separated from it.
-Karen Molenaar Terrell

Let Every Hour Be Your Finest Hour

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My dear Humoristians –

Go out there and live this day like this is the last day you have to live. Show kindness with wild abandon. Look for every opportunity to express Love. Share laughter with people in desperate need of a good laugh. Lift hearts. Bring joy. Give hope. Let every hour be your finest hour. Treasure every moment you’ve been given.

Go out there and work your magic!

Karen

A Prayer for Today

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Truth is the only power and presence – the Creator of all that is real. Love fills all space, reaching to infinity. Life is infinite and universal and eternal. All that Love creates expresses Love. All that Life creates manifests infinite Life. All that Truth creates is the reflection of Truth. All that is good comes from God, and God is all. All is good.

We are the image and likeness of Love; the reflection of Truth; the manifestation of Life; the children of the one Mind. We are the expressions of Good, God.

The belief that we can feel fear, anger, hate, or confusion is a lie for we are made by divine Mind and all we can feel is what divine Mind feels. There isn’t the teensiest, tiniest part of us that can feel fear or anger or hate because we are made wholly in the image and likeness of divine Mind. The belief that we have our own little mortal mind is a lie. Mortal mind is no part of our real identities as God’s children. Fear is no part of us. Hate is no part of us. We were made by Love and for Love, and anything that’s not of Love is a lie and has nothing to do with us.

God – Life, Truth, Love – governs the universe in perfect, indestructible harmony. God governs Her creation with the unfailing, unceasing, irrepressible, unstoppable, insurmountable power of Love. The belief that God’s government can be usurped is a lie for nothing can usurp Love’s governing of Her own creation. Nothing has the power to usurp Truth’s government.

Feel the presence and power of Love enfolding you in Her loving embrace. You are safe. You are loved. You are Her precious child, never separated from all that is good.
-Karen Molenaar Terrell

The Cosmos Knew What I Needed Today

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Life gave me an incredible gift today.

A month or so ago an old student of mine from Emerson High School texted me to see if we could meet for coffee. I was surprised, but not, to hear from Hector.

I’d been thinking of him – remembering the time we’d been taking turns reading out loud from an astronomy book, and he’d read a passage that said something like: “The stars you see in the night sky are bringing you a story from thousands of years ago.” His head had popped up and his eyebrows had come together in a puzzled frown. “What’s that supposed to mean?” he’d asked.

I told him that the light we see from the stars took thousands of years to reach us – so we’re not seeing the light from the stars as they are right now – we’re seeing the light from the stars as they were thousands of years ago.

His eyebrows lifted then and his eyes got huge. “WHOAH. That’s CRAZY!” he’d exclaimed. And then he’d started talking about how cool it would be to be an astronaut.

I hadn’t seen Hector for several years and was wondering how he was doing – hoping all was well with him – so when he’d texted out of the blue, it felt like a cosmic coincidence to me.

We arranged to meet today at Whidbey Coffee in Burlington. And oh! It was so good to see Hector again! He is a remarkable young man.

We hugged and I bought us coffees (he told me I didn’t need to buy his coffee for him, but I insisted) and we settled into a couple of comfortable chairs near the window. And for the next two hours we talked and laughed and got caught up. Hector’s life has changed a lot since I last saw him. He felt the need to make a new start for himself and moved to Seattle to work with his brother in carpentry.

He loves his work as a carpenter – he showed me the houses he’d helped build – he said he did everything in building the houses except the drywalling. He’s excited about all he’s learning on his job. He showed me photos and videos from his backpacking trips – he said he found a group of friends in Seattle who introduced him to hiking and rock-climbing – and he’s totally hooked on outdoors adventures now. Last summer, he told me, he hiked 25 miles in one day in the Enchantments. I told him I’d backpacked there years ago with a friend, and remembered how beautiful it was. He showed me his photos from the trip – and his photos showed his talent for capturing the beauty around him.

Then Hector told me that he’s gotten big into jujitsu – trains for competitions – and during the course of his training he discovered one of his favorite sparring partners was a pastor at a church in Seattle. And in connecting with this pastor he found a church community and found God. He was so excited about all he’s learning about God’s love, and so eager to share what he’s learned.

He said one of his favorite passages in the Bible is the one about building your house on sand. When we’d talked about Hector’s carpentry, we’d talked about the importance of a house being “plumb” – if the first floor is plumb, square, and level then the floors above the first floor will be, too. So the parable of the house built on the sand means something to Hector, the carpenter. He said if you build a house on the sand you can keep adding on to it – floor after floor – more and more – and it can be a 10-story house, but if that first floor is built on sand then it’s all going to come down in a windstorm. You need to build your foundation on the rock, he said – on God.

I told him it seemed that God had been leading him to this spiritual place, and he smiled and nodded and agreed. He asked me, then, about my own experience with God – and, for the first time – because he’s no longer my student – I felt free to share my own spiritual journey with him.

I asked Hector what had led him to text me. He thought for a moment and then said that he’d had struggles in high school, hadn’t really liked school until he came to me as a contract-based student, working with me one-on-one. He said he felt heard when he was with me. He felt safe. He felt loved.

I started tearing up then. The Cosmos knew what I needed today – and the Cosmos sent me Hector.
-Karen Molenaar Terrell

Don’t Tell Me You Don’t Like Him, But You “Like His Policies”

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The despicable, hateful, fear-inducing, violence-inciting things he says that target my friends in the LGBTQ community and the Haitian and Puerto Rican immigrant communities, and those who’ve served and died in the military, tell me everything I need to know about his “policies”

No, I was not better off under his presidency. And the economy is only going to get worse if he’s elected and his plans for the economy are implemented – his tariffs would bring up the cost of groceries and deporting millions of farm workers would, too.

I don’t want to hear even one more person say they don’t like him, but they like his policies. His policies are all based on hate and greed.

“Us Versus Them”: The Language of Haters

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I’ve been debating with myself if I should put this out there – most of us have probably already voted by now, and I’m pretty sure nothing I write here is going to make any difference anyway. But… on the flip side, I think I’d have a hard time living with myself if I didn’t say something. So. Yeah. Here goes.

I’m pretty sure the swing states are getting bombarded with a lot of political ads that never reach us here in Washington State. But every now and then – usually when we’re watching some nationally-televised sports show – one will pop up. And there’s this one I’ve seen a couple of times now that triggers something in me every time – and I don’t think I’m triggered in the way the politician who sponsored the ad expects me to be triggered.

This ad shows this tall, masculine-looking athlete playing sports on a women’s team. And then the narrator says this: “Kamala’s for they/them. President Trump is for you.”

And that, right there, is just so…. just writing this I’m finding myself triggered again. “Us versus them.” This is the language of haters. This is the language that politicians use to divide us, and to incite violence in us. This is the language politicians use to bring the fearful and ignorant to their flag. This is bigotry, pure and simple. And it scares me for the safety of my LGBTQ friends.

I’m a Boomer AND a former English teacher who, in the olden days, spent time correcting my students’ improper use of the words “they” and “them” – “they” is the plural I’d tell my students and “her” is the singular. I grew up in a generation of people in which society was divided into male and female – and, being a heterosexual female who’s always felt female-ish, I never really thought too much beyond society’s binary system for the sexes. I had friends and acquaintances in the olden days who I knew were gay, but it was never a big deal to me who other people were attracted to and it never occurred to me that I should hate anyone or judge them because of their sexual orientation.

Now, as time has gone on and my circle of friendships has grown, I also have had the opportunity to develop friendships with several transgender people – in the case of my friends, they were assigned the label of “female” when they were born, but have never FELT female, and self-identify as male. And, in recent years, I have witnessed my friends – good, caring, kind, brave people – become more urgent in their cries for help as they’re bullied, threatened, legislated against, and hated on.

And I’m scared for their safety.

So when I see that poltical ad from the Trump campaign, targeting transgender people, I’m triggered. Feeding the fear and hate – feeding the “feargnorance” in others – is shameful and low. It’s despicable. That ad validates, for me, that I voted for the right person by NOT voting for Trump.

Shouldn’t our president be for ALL of us?

“There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one and the same in Christ Jesus.“
– Galatians 3:28

A Healing of Clerical Error :D

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I want to share a healing I had this week.

Monday night I discovered that there had been a weird billing error – well, TWO weird billing errors, actually – one from my insurance company and another one from the optometrist’s office. The errors had resulted in the wrong person getting charged for one of my visits to the optometrist – a bill that should have been covered by my insurance, in the first place. When I first learned of the snafu(s), I was pretty stressed, and a little angry on behalf of the innocent family member who’d erroneously been listed as the “guarantor” for my bill.

I couldn’t get to sleep, and eventually came downstairs to read this week’s Bible Lesson Sermon and pray about this situation. This passage from Science and Health was helpful: “We can, and ultimately shall, so rise as to avail ourselves in every direction of the supremacy of Truth over error…” Soon I was filled with this feeling of joy and well-being and it felt like Love was laughing with me about the absurdity of it all, and reassuring me that all was well.

The next morning I woke up early, and at exactly 8:00 am I called the insurance office. A man named Loren answered the phone. I asked him if he had time to hear a really weird story, and he said he did, so I began to lay out the problem I was having with this bill. He listened and every now and then interjected some comment or question. He was very patient with me as I pulled out all the cards from my wallet, trying to find the one with my ID number on it, and when I thanked him for his patience, I could hear the smile in his voice as he told me it was okay. At one point I apologized for being so chatty when I knew he must be tapping away on his keyboard and trying to figure out what the problem was – and he laughed and said he was fine – he was good at multi-tasking. He was kind and patient and had a sense of humor, and in a short time he’d pinpointed the problem and assured me that I didn’t need to worry about this anymore – the insurance company would take care of the bill for me. I asked, “So I didn’t do anything wrong?” And his voice smiled again and he reassured me that I’d done everything right. I told him I wanted to give him a good rating, and he thanked me for that and said he would try to send me through to his manager. I started laughing. “Yes, I am Karen and I want to talk to your manager.” He started laughing then, too. (He was able to transfer my call, but it was never picked up – so I’ll find some other way to give Loren a high rating.)

At 8:30 on the dot I called the optometrist’s office, and a woman named Savannah picked up. When she looked at my account she said a note had already been made there by the insurance company and that I didn’t need to worry about this bill anymore. “I don’t need to worry about this? It’s taken care of?” I asked. And she said yup, I could just throw this bill away. Then I asked her if I could have something in writing about this – I told her I am Karen AND a Virgo AND a boomer – basically, “I’m the trifecta of annoying” – and she started laughing and said she’d send me an email. Within minutes after we’d ended our phone call she had sent an email telling me that the bill was being sent back to the insurance company for payment and I didn’t need to worry about it.

It was such a lovely untangling. There was so much joy and humor and kindness involved in the whole experience. I’m really grateful for this opportunity to prove Love’s power.
– Karen Molenaar Terrell