feeling rejected, dejected,
jettisoned and ejected
and it occurs to me that this is a choice
I am making
and Father-Mother Love says,
“I love you. You are Mine.
Forever and always, beyond time.
I will never reject you. I made you
for Me.
Let go of little ego,
let go and just be.
You have more important things to do
than to spend your time
appeasing a human ego
no part of Me or mine.”
-Karen Molenaar Terrell
Author Archives: Karen Molenaar Terrell
I Landed Before I Left and Came Back a Grandma
I left a land of cockatoos and palm trees
and landed before I left in another time zone
under gray skies and Douglas firs
– Karen Molenaar Terrell

In the end, we arrived back in America a couple of hours before we left Australia. Yes, I’m here to tell you that time travel is, indeed, possible.
There is a seventeen-hour time difference between Australia and where we live in Bow, Washington. So we lifted off from Vancouver, BC, on July 5th and landed in Sydney 18 hours later on July 7th. And from that point until we arrived back in North America yesterday, everything has been a little upside down and backwards for me. In Australia, the sun moves along the northern sky and rises on the right; Folks drive on the left side of the road; and Australians have their winter when North America is having its summer. On our return, we left Sydney at 8:40 am on July 25th and arrived in Vancouver 15 hours later – and two hours earlier – at 6:40 am on July 25th. Whoah.
***
Australia was wonderful. The people are friendly and fun. The birds are full of color and music. The flowers are vibrant. The winter weather is like springtime in my part of the world.










I met so many amazing people “down under” – the helpful, smiling security folks at the airport; the travelers from Canada who waited with us in the customs line and let me know that I’m not the only one who’s always checking to see if my passport is still where it needs to be – apparently other people check to see if their passports have somehow leaped out of pockets and purses, too; the woman who laughed with me when, after my husband asked me if I needed help, I pulled my heavy suitcase out of the baggage carousel at the Sydney airport and repeated Aussie Helen Reddy’s lyrics, “I am woman/hear me roar”; the staff at Karen’s Diner and the staff at the Baytouna Lebanese restaurant; the cheery cashier at the coffee shop who taught me how to say “table seven” (“tible sayven”); the police officers and soccer fans celebrating the women’s soccer team in Sydney; the firefighters at the cafe; the confident, competent, lovely midwife who delivered my new grandbaby; the line of passengers at Sydney airport who laughed with me when I got into their line accidentally and almost boarded the wrong plane – “Americans!” I said, shaking my head, and grinning in embarrassment, and they joined me in my laughter and helped me feel accepted in my human-ness; and the wonderful woman from Quebec I met while waiting to board the plane I was actually supposed to be on, who shared how she travels from Canada to Australia twice a year to visit her son and daughter (who both married Australians) and to see her grandchildren. She inspired me and helped me realize that I’m not alone in the physical distance I have between my son and daughter-in-law and grandchild – that other people are in similar situations, and that we all want our children to live the lives they need to live, even if it means they’re on the other side of the world.






***
I’m thinking about all that needed to happen for our beautiful baby granddaughter to arrive on this planet. I think about the miracles that brought little Marilyn here. Her maternal grandmother, Kim, had to survive a year in a Vietnamese prison, working as slave labor, after being caught trying to escape from Vietnam when she was 18; her maternal grandfather, Ben, had to escape from Vietnam on a terrifying boat ride before finding a new home in Australia. Little Marilyn’s paternal great-grandfather, my father Dee Molenaar, had to survive a desperate situation in 1953 on K2, the world’s second highest mountain – his life hanging on the end of a rope belayed by his climbing teammate, Pete Schoening. Little Marilyn’s paternal great-grandmother, my mother “Moz,” was the tenth of ten children – somehow managing to squeak into birth after her mother had decided she was having no more children after birthing number nine nearly killed her. Little Marilyn’s paternal grandfather, my husband Scott, had to impulsively get in a car bound for the west coast with his friends and start a new life in Washington State so that we could meet and marry and start a family. Little Marilyn’s parents, my son and daughter-in-law – one from Washington State and one from Sydney, Australia – had to both decide to visit a Buddhist retreat in California during the pandemic, in order for them to meet and fall in love, and bring Marilyn to us.
What are the odds of ANY of that happening?!
Marilyn’s existence has made all our lives more important than they were before she came.
***
I have so much to be grateful for today. My heart is full. My daughter-in-law and son are already amazing parents – nurturing and conscientious, and in love with their new baby; my new granddaughter is healthy and strong and beautiful; my daughter-in-law’s mother, Kim, is generous and kind and took wonderful care of us during our stay in Australia. Instead of love being cut off from me and separated, the love in my life is expanding and including more people and places. My sense of what constitutes “family” is growing.

People I’ve Met on Our Trip to Australia
I’ve met some really lovely people on our trip.
I always hope I’ll be seated by great people on my airplane trips – and I was especially hoping for that on our 13-hour flight to Auckland – and I hit the jackpot with my seat mate! I sat next to a wonderful young man, originally from Punjab, India, but relocated for the last five years to Auckland for work. He helped show me how to play the Solitaire game on the screen in front of my seat; pushed some buttons to see how the “food and drink” tab worked and ended up with cookies and a mocha which he handed off to me; and he used the map on the screen to show me where he grew up in India, and where he lives now in Auckland. He had a great sense of humor and we spent a lot of time laughing together. He helped the flight go faster for me.
Yesterday we went to a Farmers Market near Sydney and – as always at Farmers Markets – we met dogs with wagging tails, and people with smiles on their faces, and the air was filled with laughter and joy and the smell of good things to eat. I bought cookies from two wonderful women at the Gumnut stand who chatted with us about our travels and gave us a little bag of free cookies as a welcome to Australia. We met Maisie, a sweet black Labrador who licked my hand and smiled a doggy smile up at me, and her human, Anna, and her mates – who all laughed with me when I introduced myself as “Karen” and said, “But what are you going to do?”
When we boarded the train after the Farmers Market – and I was looking at a map on the train’s wall and trying to figure out when our next stop was – a very cool chap named Andrew with long dyed hair, shades, and fingernails painted black, came up to the map and showed me where the route would take us. As it turns out, I couldn’t have come upon a better person to help me with this – he actually works for the trains as a guard and was on his way to work on one of the trains when he appeared. Andrew also works as a photographer for musical events – and he and my husband, Scott, got into conversation about lenses and cameras and their experiences as professional photographers.
When we got into Sydney we walked over to the Opera House (of course!) and met all kinds of wonderful people there, too. There were the people who moved over for me so I could take pictures of the seal sunbathing below us. The seal did not appear to be moving and I asked, “Is he alive? He looks so chill.” The people who’d moved over for me smiled and reassured me that the seal was alive and he was just doing what we all should be doing -enjoying the moment. A couple of young men from India asked me if I could take their picture – which I did – and then, later, they reciprocated by taking a picture of me with my family in front of the Opera House – and did an excellent job for me.
Next to the Opera House is a botanic garden. On the way to the garden we saw a bride and groom having their pre-wedding photos taken. On the way back from the garden we came upon the bride and groom again. They looked so radiant and joyful that I felt the urge to capture their joy and share it – so I asked them if I might take their picture. They were happy to smile for my camera. I told the bride that her bouquet was beautiful and she looked at her groom proudly and said that they had made the bouquet together.
After our explorations around the Opera House we went to Karen’s Diner for dinner. My daughter-in-law, Christina, had heard about Karen’s Diner from a friend and had learned that people named “Karen” could be given a free drink there. The theme at Karen’s Diner is that the food is great, and the service is deliberately rude – but rude in a funny way. I loved the whole experience – our servers were great! – and I got a free milk shake out of the deal.
On the train back from Sydney I sat next to a lively, fun family with three youngsters aged five, four, and two. The father was originally from Jamaica, and the mother had lived back and forth between Italy and Australia during her growing-up years – between them they were citizens of three countries! The littlest girl played peek-a-boo with me, and soon Christina and my son, Andrew, who are due to become parents any minute, were chatting with the parents about the joys and challenges of child-rearing. There was a lot of laughter in that conversation.
I am loving Australia and the people who live here.




Magic Near the Atlantic
Flash of red
cardinal in the trees
Flutter of orange
butterfly over the beach
Flash of silver
bluefish over waves
Flicker of bright
fireflies in the night
Flash of lightning
from a thunderstorm
Flex of arching color
in a rainbow over the sea
– Karen Molenaar Terrell




Ode to the Dads
podcast link: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/karen-molenaar-terrell/episodes/Ode-to-the-Dads-e2folnv
I got an ad in my email with a suggestion for a gift for Dad for Father’s Day. It gave me a little jolt. Dad has been gone for more than three years now. I always bought him a shirt for Father’s Day – usually with blue in it to match his Dutch-blue eyes. And it always tickled me when he actually wore those shirts.
I miss him.
Dad and my husband, Scott, are wonderful examples of fatherhood. Here’s a poem for them:
Protecting and guiding
nurturing, gently widening
our world and helping hone
our skills so if we’re alone
we can survive on our own
Sharing joy and adventure
never there to censure
helping us become who we already are
-Karen Molenaar Terrell







First Review for *Looking Forward*!
Looking Forward: More Adventures of the Madcap Christian Scientist has its first review on Goodreads! I’m sitting here, all teary-eyed and grateful for the kindness in this review.
Maryjmetz writes:
“Karen Molenaar Terrell’s latest, Looking Forward, is another pretty darned inspiring and comforting book. It covers the period between 2014 and 2023 so, as she herself notes, an eventful period in every way: the death of both her parents, a world-wide pandemic, a certain President and his followers. The individual pieces were written as events happened so Karen doesn’t necessarily know how things are going to turn out any more than the reader does, but she generally manages to convey her expectation that things will be okay. More to the point, she acts in such a way as to somehow make things turn out okay. Without being preachy in any way, she shares her belief – no, models her belief—that Love is in ultimate control, while her own day-to-day actions make the world better: buying shoes for someone in need, teaching at an alternative high school, treating the other candidates with respect when running for her local school board, or just appreciating the beauty that exists everywhere.
“What I love about Karen’s writing is how genuine and truthful she always is; she isn’t some starry-eyed innocent who believes everything she is told nor is she ever full of herself for being so clever (but when you read about all the stuff she teaches at that alternative high school you recognize there’s not much she doesn’t know or can’t do). She acknowledges her own doubts and her own failings, but seemingly never lets that stop her from doing what she thinks is right. Her positive outlook, a result in part of her Christian Scientist beliefs, never feels forced and so she somehow manages to make me feel more positive and hopeful when I read her, though I don’t share her faith and, in general, tend towards pessimism.
“I wish I. could do the spirit of the book justice with this write-up, but I’m not the writer that Karen is.”

Irrepressible Power of Love
I’m feeling it tonight
the irrepressible power of Love, Truth, Life
unfolding in marvelous glory
in front of me
-Karen Molenaar Terrell
“Spirit, God, gathers unformed thoughts into their proper channels, and unfolds these thoughts, even as He opens the petals of a holy purpose in order that the purpose may appear.:
-Mary Baker Eddy, Science and Health
(The image below is from NASA, taken by the James Webb Space Telescope.)

Love Is Always Here
Fretting and frittering my day away
trying to keep my little ego fed and coddled
worrying about stuff that doesn’t matter
one jot in the grand scheme of things
searching for happiness in all the wrong places
and my thoughts suddenly stop
spinning and settle softly
I hear Love’s voice:
“My precious child. You are loved
without end.”
I don’t need to wait for Love
I don’t need to work for Love
I don’t need to earn Love
Love is always here, always mine
Forever and ever
Amen.
-Karen Molenaar Terrell
podcast link: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/karen-molenaar-terrell/episodes/Love-Is-Always-Here-e2folvh
June Perfume
locust trees and lupines
and pungent pine pollen and wild
roses growing along the river
and green grass just-cropped
send their sweet scent
wafting on gentle winds
past my nose
-Karen Molenaar Terrell, from *Since Then*
https://www.amazon.com/Since-Then-Karen-Molenaar-Terrell-ebook/dp/B09LHV3RCC/

Rooted and Grounded in Love
I’ve been told there are people who have lived
in my community for “generations” and I think
about the wonder of that – of families putting down roots
that grow deep and old and connect them to the land
of grandparents and great-grandparents and great-greats.
And I think about my family – scattered across continents –
and none of us have spent a lifetime living in one house,
one town, one community, on the same land
as generations before us.
And for a moment I feel a sadness about that.
And then…
The phrase “rooted and grounded in love” pops into my head.
And I realize that the members of my family ARE connected,
right now, on the same ground as generations before us,
and generations to come. Our roots HAVE grown deep
and are connected in Love – the richest ground of all.
And nothing can destroy our roots
or our connection to each other.
Nothing can separate us from our home.
There is no diaspora for us.
We are rooted in Love.
-Karen Molenaar Terrell
Ephesians 3: 14-19
For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
Of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named,
That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man;
That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love,
May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height;
And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God.
