In 2014 I published my third book in the Madcap Christian Scientist series, The Madcap Christian Scientist: All Things New. This one was all about starting over. It has four reviews on Amazon now – all five stars! Here’s an excerpt:
Two years ago I would never have been able to guess where I’d be today, what I’d be doing, and what new people I would be calling my friends and colleagues. Two years ago my youngest son was close to graduating from high school, my 20-year career as a public school teacher was winding down, and I was looking for a new job and a new purpose to fill my days. Two years ago I was starting over.It was scary. It was exhilarating. It was absolutely awesome!
For the first time in years I didn’t have to try to fit my life into a rigid schedule and a tight structure. My life was my own to create as I felt led…
Season of Shameless Plugs (Day 4): At the age of 51 I went insane. I did not like it so much, but I sure learned a lot from that experience. I wrote about my journey through depression in The Madcap Christian Scientist’s Middle Book. The Middle Book has six ratings now – all five stars! Here’s an excerpt:
On New Year’s Eve, 2007, I was hit particularly hard by the belief of depression – caught up in weird and intense feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness. I don’t know what led me to check out my book on Amazon that night, but when I clicked on Blessings: Adventures of a Madcap Christian Scientist I found that just that day someone had added a new review for my book. The review read, in part: “Karen becomes your friend, someone you know and love and you know if she knew you, she would love you the way you want to be loved.” I read those words and was so touched by them I began to cry. This was exactly the message I needed at that moment. If I could love others, I had worth. If others could love me, there was hope. I’ve always felt that the man who wrote that review had been listening to the voice of Love that day. He’d been guided by Love’s direction to take the time to write a review for my book – and, because he did that for me, he helped to bring me out of a place of deep despair.
We all have access to an incredible power to bring good to other people’s lives. That day my book’s reviewer had tapped into that power. *** My eldest son, Andrew, understood that I desperately needed to get away from “myself” – needed to get away from the routine of my life – and volunteered to go with me to the Oregon coast during our Spring Break. His willingness to accompany me on a fourteen-hour drive (round trip) meant a great deal to me and, frankly, surprised me. What sixteen year-old young man do you know who would volunteer to go with his mom on a road trip? We had such a great time. We’re both kind of easy-going when it comes to traveling. Sometimes I would wander, accidentally or on purpose, off the beaten track, and it would take me awhile to find my way back to our route – but Andrew never panicked about any of this. He just let me take him wherever I ended up going, without worry or concern about it. I remember one time we pulled over at a “scenic viewpoint” to find ourselves looking down on a sawmill and pulp mill that was belching up great plumes of smoke. Without saying a word, Andrew and I looked at each other and started snickering – I knew what he was thinking – scenic viewpoint?!
On the way down, we stopped to visit with my beloved Aunt Junie. Here’s what I wrote in my journal about that visit: “Spent the night with Aunt Junie. She is so amazing. She’s like Yoda. I was all weepy, told her I’d made mistakes and had lost close friends who told me I was a bad friend and a bad person. Junie was appalled. She said I am a good person – all her intuition tells her that I am a good person and she has no doubts about that.” Junie believed in me, had faith in me, and trusted in me. And I really needed that at the moment. She told me that “there are no unrightable wrongs, no unforgiveable sins, no fatal mistakes, no fatal diseases, only the eternal now.” To be given hope and a fresh start is incredibly freeing.
The Season of Shameless Plugs (Day 3): In 2005 I published my first book, Blessings: Adventures of a Madcap Christian Scientist. It now has 33 reviews on Amazon – and 4.7 stars! I’ve made some really good friends through that little book, and it’s introduced me to people all over the world.
Here’s an excerpt from the Introduction: Years ago an old boyfriend said to me, “I can’t see that Christian Science has made you any better than anyone else.”
“I know!” I said, nodding my head in complete and happy agreement, “But can you imagine what I’d be like without it?!”
He raised his eyebrows and laughed. What could he say? He was looking at a self-centered, moralistic, stubborn idealist who saw everything in terms of black and white. But I could have been worse. I believe without Christian Science I would have been worse.
Let’s get one thing clear from the start: I am not the best example of a Christian Scientist. I’m not as disciplined as I could be. I have fears and worries and doubts. I’m a little neurotic. I am the Lucy Ricardo of Christian Scientists.
Can’t reason with delusion; can’t reason with error Can’t reason with illusion; can’t reason with terror Just love, love, love We’ve all of us been there; we’ve ALL been insane This time it’s OUR turn to heal someone ELSE’s pain Just love, love, love The battle’s already won – that’s the deal No need to respond to a lie as if it’s real Just love, love, love Don’t respond with hate, or anger or fear Give nothing for the rage to bounce off of – ‘cept a cushy wall of kindness and cheer Just love, love, love – Karen Molenaar Terrell
I’m no one’s competition anymore – and I’m so grateful I’ve moved past that. Any youth and beauty I might have had before brought me into a rivalry I was never good at. Now I’m just a happy old bat! -Karen Molenaar Terrell
“As the physical and material, the transient sense of beauty fades, the radiance of Spirit should dawn upon the enraptured sense with bright and imperishable glories.” – Mary Baker Eddy
This is the last hymn I sang to Moz before she passed. This song came into my thoughts, again, this morning when I learned two loved ones in my circle had passed. My love to their families and friends. ❤
(If you make it to the end you’ll see a cameo by the backyard birds.)
(Words to the hymn are by Anna L. Waring, 1823-1910.)
Van Jones’s words spoke to my heart this morning: “Well, it’s easier to be a parent this morning. It’s easier to be a dad. It’s easier to tell your kids character matters… telling the truth matters; being a good person matters. It’s easier for a lot of people. If you’re a Muslim in this country you don’t have to worry if the president doesn’t want you here. If you’re an immigrant you don’t have to worry if the president is going to be happy to have babies stashed away or send Dreamers back for no reason… ‘I can’t breathe’ – you know, that wasn’t just George Floyd, that was a lot of people that felt they couldn’t breathe… and you’re going to the store and people who have been afraid to show their racism are getting nastier and nastier… and you spend so much of your life energy just trying to hold it together. And this is a big deal for us just to be able to get some peace…And the character of the country matters. And being a good man matters…”
I am feeling incredible relief this morning. But… I also recognize that we’re not done. There’s still a lot of work ahead for all of us – red and blue and green and polka dotted – to bring equity and progress and healing to our country. The path in front of us is not lined with roses and unicorns – and I am already emotionally exhausted from the LAST four years. But I guess we’ve all got to take a collective deep breath and gather our strength and march on. The battle’s not over until every last person on our planet is free and safe. – Karen Molenaar Terrell
“You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; You have put off my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness…” – Psalms 30: 11
“…rejoice that evil, by whatever figure presented, contradicts itself and has neither origin nor support in Truth and good. Seeing this, we should have faith to fight all claims of evil, because we know that they are worthless and unreal.” – Mary Baker Eddy
At the beginning of the summer I planted carrot seeds in a small planter box on my deck. I watched them sprout and grow and felt pretty good about myself and what had come from my seeds, but… then I kind of forgot about the carrots. Occasionally the dog would stick her snout in the planter box and go grazing and pull a carrot out for herself. Scott transplanted some of the sprouts to his garden when his own carrots weren’t doing so well – and my carrot seedlings did really well for him. But. Yeah. I got caught up in other things and, for the most part, the carrots just sat in their box of dirt. Patient. Waiting. Trusting.
And today I finally remembered them! I went out to the planter box and dug around and found a bunch of little carrots – still healthy and edible. I brought them inside, washed them off, and turned them into (drum roll) CARROT CAKE! (I used some apple sauce Scotty had made from his Gravensteins, too – we’re living off the land, baby!) – Karen Molenaar Terrell
God bless our country. God bless the whole world. No matter who wins this election we still have a long road of healing ahead of us. May God, Love, help us all – each and every Republican, Democrat, Libertarian, Green Party, Black, Brown, White, polka dotted, atheist, Christian, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, Jewish, gun-toting, unarmed, flag-waving, anthem-kneeling, F and M and LGBTQ one of us. Amen. -Karen Molenaar Terrell
Adventures of the Madcap Christian Scientist 