Next Year This Christmas Will Be the New Past

Every Christmas is different
from the last,
and brings its own gifts,
and a new past.

Mom and Dad are no longer here,
but their sweaters hang
from the back of our chairs,
and I feel Mom’s smile on me,
and Dad’s grin,
and sometimes I feel a nostalgic
yearning to go back to what’s been.

The sons are all grown up now
with homes of their own.
But I remember their childhood excitement
when they’d wake on Christmas morn –
running downstairs to see what Santa
brought them during the night
and put under the Christmas tree’s lights.

And there’s a sad sweetness
to the remembering.

Next year this Christmas
will be the new past.

-Karen Molenaar Terrell

A Dime for Four Minutes

Here’s the podcast link.

I put a dime in the traffic meter
and bought myself four minutes.
And I thought what could I do
with my four minutes?
If I could pay a dime
for four minutes in past time –
what four minutes would I bring
back for myself?
Four minutes with Mom and Dad?
Four minutes with the sons?
Maybe everyone together
around the Thanksgiving table
for four minutes more?

I put a dime in the traffic meter
and bought myself four minutes.
-Karen Molenaar Terrell

Everything I Need in Front of Me

What would it be like
To not be weighed down
With the detritus and memories
Of decades and generations ?
Hats and shoes and awards
Artwork and photos and earrings
Scarves and letters and books?
What if I just traveled like a turtle
With my home on my back
And everything I needed
In front of me?
-Karen Molenaar Terrell

The Last Echo

Hush.
It’s alright now.
That was just the last echo
from a past that was healed
long ago. It can’t touch you
or hurt you anymore.
The past brought you
to where you are now.
Be grateful for it.
And let the last echo
bounce harmlessly off the wall
and fade to nothing.
– Karen Molenaar Terrell

 

When the Future Enters the Past

Sitting in the shade of
my parents’ dogwood trees
I go back in time thirty years –
and remember sitting
under these same trees
with a glass of lemonade
and Mary Stewart’s Crystal Cave.
And now I’m there again –
in the body of the me I was –
young and with my whole future
ahead of me –
unaware of what waits
for me in the years ahead.
I look to the left
and two young men enter the scene,
laughing, and tossing a football
back and forth between them –
and I recognize my grown sons – my future
has entered my past.

Cosmic!

I accidentally snapped this picture as I was bringing my camera around.

accidental picture of dogwood trees by Karen Molenaar Terrell