I Woke Up Angry This Morning

I woke up angry this morning. Angry at the cruelty, and blatant racism, sexism, misogyny, and deceit playing out in front of us; angry at the people who seem to be fine with all of that; angry at the people who talk about “leftist extremism” while brushing off January 6th as a “rally” and ignoring the violence being done to children and other innocent people because they “look guilty” and happen to live in the wrong parts of towns in blue states; angry at an administration which seems to take delight in inciting violence and hate towards states and people it views as its “enemies”; angry at the federal agents who say “f***” the children and “now go home or you’re next”; angry at bullies; angry at the people who applaud the bullies; angry at the “friends” who have tried to guilt me into silence by calling me a “pot stirrer” when I’ve provided information counter to their political views; and maybe I woke up angry at myself, too, for feeling powerless to make the cruelty stop.

And so that’s how I left our house this morning – angry and grumpy.

We needed to go to Sedro-Woolley to run an errand, and, afterwards, ended up at a coffee shop for drinks and treats. After a while, when we still hadn’t gotten our order, I began to feel impatient and asked the baristas if maybe they’d forgotten us. We got our drinks soon afterwards.

Another customer had come in after us. She waited patiently at another table. She never asked if she’d been forgotten. She never looked agitated or perturbed. She quietly sat at her table, swinging one leg while she waited for her coffee. She had on the coolest rubber boots – she’d rolled them down at the top and there was this cool salmon-pattern revealed on the rolled-down parts. I had to ask her about them.

She told me the pattern was designed by the “Salmon Sisters” in Alaska. She’d lived in Alaska for a while, she said. I learned then that she’d worked for NOAA as a marine biologist, and now worked for the Washington Dept. of Fish and Wildlife. I told her my brother was a marine biologist, too, and had worked for NOAA for a time, and then another government agency, and had ended his career working for the State. We talked about fishing for a while – she told me something I hadn’t known – that if there isn’t enough fishing allowed, the fish population will exceed what the rivers supply in food, and the salmon population will begin to die out. She was interesting. And kind. She was interesting and kind and patient. And, when she finally got her order and was ready to leave, I thanked her for modeling kindness to me this morning. I told her I’d come in to the coffee shop feeling grumpy – which isn’t my usual self – and she’d helped bring me back to myself again. She smiled and thanked ME – which is, of course, what a kind person does.

Meeting my new friend reminded me of one of the most essential lessons life has taught me – that as long as we can love and show kindness to the people we encounter every day, we aren’t powerless – we CAN make a difference. Just like my new friend did for me this morning.

I’m still angry about the cruelty I see in our world. Maybe it’s right to be angry about that. But I don’t feel so powerless, anymore.

Right Now I’m Just Right

Aunt Junie told me she’d heard these words once in a CS lecture:
“It is never too little; too much; too late; or too soon.”
And now, as I wake in the middle of the night, these words dance
in my thoughts as I gaze up at the moon.

I am never too old or too young,
too heavy or too thin,
with too little time or too much
to do what Love needs me to do,
or to feel the power of Love’s touch.

I’m neither too rich or too poor,
too masculine or too feminine,
too dark-skinned or too light
to be the perfect expression of Good
right NOW I’m just right.

-Karen Molenaar Terrell

An alpine butterfly flits among the flowers on Table Mountain. Photo by Karen Molenaar Terrell.


Being White Is Not an Achievement

So, on my walk yesterday, I saw a man wearing a t-shirt that said: “PROUD WHITE BOY.” I’m not going to describe the physicality of this man – other than to say that, obviously, he was White.

But his shirt got me to wondering. Was he proud because he was White? Was he proud because he was a “boy”? And… why would he be proud of things he has no control over? It’s like being proud of being human, or being proud of being born in this country. Being born here, and being born White, and being born male are not things that anybody has to earn. They are not achievements. They are not proof of your courage or evidence of your hard work. They are just the happenstances of your start in life – a part of earth’s crap shoot. And there’s no reason, in my mind, to be proud – or ashamed, either – of the happenstances of your human start.

It’s what comes after your start – the life you build here – that shows the most important things about you: Are you living a life of kindness? Of moral courage? Do you stand up for others? Are you generous with the good Life gives you? Are you honest? Are you living a life of integrity? Are you using your talents and gifts to make the world a better place? To me, those are the things that matter.

A t-shirt that says “PROUD TO BE KIND” would make more sense to me. Or maybe “PROUD TO BE HUMBLE.” 🙂

“…the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such there is no law.”
-Galatians 5:22-23

Let’s Stop Dehumanizing Each Other

At a time when we desperately need to come together and support the good in each other – at a time when we need to do away with stereotypes and stop dehumanizing each other – it was very disappointing to see the headline in the paper today. It felt like a punch in the gut. It’s time for people of privilege to stop using “Karens” as their scapegoat – as a way to show that they are allies to the disenfranchised and that they aren’t bigots. In actuality, people who use “Karen” as a pejorative are revealing their bigotry – their sexism and ageism – by using the name in this way.

Using “Karen” as a label for a racist isn’t funny or clever. It’s mean. Those named “Karen” feel pain; they cry and mourn and grieve and deal with mental health issues just like everyone else. And this kind of bullying hurts – I have at least one friend named “Karen” who has contemplated suicide in the last year. Using “Karen” in this way does not add anything good or kind to this world. And this world is in desperate need of kindness.
Karen Molenaar Terrell

The Karen Meme: As If We Don’t Already Have Enough to Deal With

Dear Huffington Post:

You’d think a writer named “Ron Dicker” would be one of the last ones to use the “Karen” meme in his story.

Until now you’ve been one of my go-to places to get information – progressive, smart, witty and wise. But that just changed, for me. It turns out your writers, too, are bigoted, unkind, bullying, and mean-spirited. As if the inhabitants of our world don’t already have enough crap to deal with right now – dying friends, dying family, dying planet – let’s perpetuate that whole “Karen” thing, right?

Note: The maskless woman was named “Terry” – not “Karen.”

Words, people. Words matter. I expected more from your writers than old labels, unoriginal thought, stereotypes, sexism, ageism, and bigotry. What good were you adding to the world by using the Karen meme? How is that going to make our world a better place?

I am sorely disappointed.
Karen

That M*A*S*H Scene Revisited

So here’s something… I woke up this morning with that scene from the M*A*S*H movie in my head – the one where Margaret Houlihan is trying to take a shower and Hawkeye Pierce and Trapper John raise the shower curtain on her in front of an audience of laughing men. M*A*S*H was one of the biggest movies of the early 1970s – nominated for all kinds of awards, including best picture. I didn’t see it when it first came out – too young – but I remember enjoying it, for the most part, when I finally saw it a few years later. I never did like that shower scene, though – it made me really uncomfortable – I thought it was mean-spirited. And now here we are in 2018. I’m thinking that scene might not play well in theaters, anymore. And I’m really glad about that.

We have made progress.

Do we really even need to debate this stuff?

I can’t believe we’re still debating stuff in 2018 that we should have moved beyond long ago.

No, it’s not alright to separate children from their parents at the border. No, it’s not alright to torture ANYone or thing. No, we shouldn’t be taking from the poor to give to the rich. Yes, we should be caring for our planet – it’s the only one we’ve got. No, we should not be denying people their rights to life, liberty, happiness, and prosperity because of their race, religion or non-religion, ethnicity, gender, or sexual orientation. Are these things we really even need to debate? Sheesh.

debating stuff