Celebrating the Opposite of Bustle

Do you ever have one of those days where you want to be around people, but you don’t necessarily feel you have the energy to engage with people? That’s how I woke up this morning. I wanted a quiet day among people, exchanging smiles, but I wasn’t feeling up to big conversation. I was feeling in need of whatever is the opposite of “bustle.”

And the Cosmos gave me exactly what I needed today.

I started out at Fred Meyer’s. I got there pretty early, and there weren’t a lot of people there, yet. I moved through the store at a leisurely pace, exchanging smiles now and then, and enjoying the quiet. It was lovely.

Then I drove into Mount Vernon to run an errand and get in a walk along the river. I probably got there before 9:00 and most of the businesses were still closed, and the streets were quiet. Perfect! As I came to the Ristretto coffee shop, I found myself turning in for a coffee. I found a quiet table in the corner, and sipped my coffee and enjoyed the sounds of the quiet conversations going on around me.

A man came in with a Mariners cap and as I passed him to exit the shop, I said, “Go Mariners!” and then we both smiled and kind of grimaced at the same time at the thought of our poor Mariners. We talked about the Mariners for a while – their ups and downs, defeats and victories – and then our conversation moved on to other things.

I learned that Jim was a pastor in town, and he learned that I was “Karen” – which, as I’d hoped, got a healthy laugh out of him. We learned we both have Dutch in our backgrounds – his antecedents had come from the northern part of the Netherlands, my dad’s parents had come from near Amsterdam. I told Jim about dad’s mountaineering background, and he told me about his friend who does mountain rescue work in Nepal. He learned I was a retired teacher – had taught in Burlington for years, and ended my career at Emerson, the old alternative high school in Mount Vernon. Jim told me that his church is actually where the alternative high school had originally been housed years ago.

I told him I’d retired from Emerson the summer before the pandemic hit, and Emerson had closed for good not long after that. My dad, I told him, had died at the age of 101, the day before the first reported case of COVID in the States – the first case being reported in Snohomish. Jim nodded his head, and said he’d actually had a friend in health care who had been part of the health care team for that first COVID patient.

We talked about how the pandemic had changed teaching and education. I told him that my friends who were working in education during that time told me not to go back to teaching right then, and Jim told me one of his relatives had started her first teaching job just a few weeks before the pandemic hit. It was a pretty crazy time for her.

And during this conversation with Jim, there was laughter and empathy and connection. There was a feeling of community. There was no bustle, no high-energy exchange, no expectations or obligations or responsibility to “fix” anything. Jim was the exactly right person for me to meet today.

After I left Ristretto, I went up to the river for a walk, and to see what there was to see up there: I snapped a photo of the bridge enclosed in a pink cocoon as repairs are made on it; I met a rescue pup named Gooper; I stopped to wave a worker in a golf cart to pass by me, and he smiled a friendly smile and thanked me; I saw about a dozen bicyclists parked at the revetment – it looked like they were getting ready for an adventure; and the flags were full-blown in a gusty wind. I sat at a table with my coffee, and turned my face into the wind, and enjoyed my solitude.

I had a lovely morning.

Thank You, Life, for All Good Things

I felt impelled to get up to the boardwalk today and connect with “my people.” I’m so glad I listened to my intuition. Today’s sojourn to Bellingham brought pups, new friends, boats, and a way cool heron eating his breakfast in a tree.

As I drove up Chuckanut to Bellingham, I passed a young man walking along the side of the road with a bedroll. I debated stopping to offer him a ride, but, in the end, kept going. (He will enter into this post later.)

I drove to Boulevard Park and started my walk there. I hadn’t even reached the trail when I found my first new pup friend, little Stuart. Stuart is still a youngster, and is a little shy – but he gathered his courage and came up to me for a sniff and a pet. Stuart’s courage in approaching me, totally melted my heart.

When I passed over the first section of boardwalk, I glanced up at the tree where I sometimes see a heron perched, and saw something I don’t think I’ve ever seen before: the heron was there, and he had his wings sort of tucked underneath him. A couple of other people stopped to watch with me – they were pretty fun. One of them imitated the heron with her arms and said the heron was doing yoga. I moved to the other side of the heron to get a better shot with my camera and saw that the heron’s gullet seemed to be moving something down it. The woman who’d imitated the heron said she’d seen it with a fish in its beak earlier, and we all guessed that we were watching the heron eat his breakfast.

Not long after my stop for the heron, I met pups, Buddy and Phoenix – I could tell they were good friends. We use the word “humanity” when we talk about kindness, but I’m thinking maybe we could also use the word “canineity.” These canine buddies moved along next to each other in sweet concord.

And then little Bella appeared. Her humans told me Bella was scared of the edges of the boardwalk, but she was very brave in approaching me and letting me give her a pet. Before I moved on, I saw Bella move past her fears, and peek over the edge of the boardwalk.

After my walk, I stopped into Wood’s for a lavender green iced tea. Jessi was there, stocking the shelves and tidying up, and she gave me a shout out when she saw me walk in. The woman in front of me in line had a beautiful tattoo on her arm – the face in her tattoo actually looked like her, I thought. I learned her name was Jess – and Jess graciously agreed to let me get a photo.

I’d been keeping my eyes on a schooner in the bay – I love schooners! – watching for it to unfurl its sails. Just before I left, I saw that it had its sails fully unfurled and snapped some quick pictures.

I loaded my tea, camera, knapsack, and self into my car and headed for Chuckanut. Just after I’d passed the place where people park to go to Teddy Bear Cove, I came upon the young man with the bedroll again. He looked really tired. I’m guessing he’d hiked three or four miles since I’d last seen him.

Once again, I debated stopping to offer him a ride, and, once again, I kept going. I drove four or five miles past him, before I pulled off into a parking lot and stopped my car. The thought that came to me was, “That young man is someone’s son.” And then, “I hope someone would stop for my sons if they needed a ride.” And then suddenly, in my mind, that young man wasn’t just someone’s son, he was my own. I mean. He wasn’t REALLY my own, but he felt like my own son in that moment. I decided to turn around and, if I found him, I’d offer him some apple juice and snack bars I keep in my car for people who might need that. I wasn’t sure, yet, if I’d feel comfortable offering him a ride. I’d save that decision for after I met him.

I drove back along Chuckanut, looking for him, and finally spotted him. I found a place to pull over, rolled down my window, and asked him if he’d like some juice. He nodded his head and crossed the street to me and said, “That’d be great. Thank you.” He had beautiful blue eyes, and there was kindness in them. My mother’s heart reached out to him, and I asked him if I could give him a ride. He said that would be good – told me he was headed for the downtown.

So I moved things around in my car – apologized to him for the mess – and made room for him. He got in, and I headed for Waypoint Park near the bike course. I learned my new friend’s name was Logan, that he’d started his journey in Colorado, and that he’d grown up in Bellingham. He had people there who were expecting him.

When we got to Waypoint Park, I parked and got out of the car to say good bye. “Are you going to be alright?” I asked, and he nodded and smiled. Then he reached out an arm for a hug. Every mother will understand what that meant to me.

Thank you, Life, for all good things – for puppies and herons, schooners on the bay, and kind people.

Navigating the Eff Bee Whitewater

I wake up and reach for my phone
to find the time
and moments later I’m bobbing
along in the Eff Bee whitewater
with my fellows posters –
good morning, world! –
and I’m trying to dodge the flotsam
and jetsam of a culture that seems
Intent on keeping the world’s
hatred and fear fueled.
I’m dodging words: “libtard” and “Karen”
and “POS” and “asshat” –
and there’s talk of violence –
mob mentality – coming from both sides –
all sides –
and, of course, there’s the logjams
of the “experts” appearing periodically
to provide background info on
the history of Nazis and the Civil War.
I was a history major myself
and I can relate to the urge to show off
my expertise on these things, but my
intuition is telling me that, for the people
flailing in the whitewater with me, now
is not the time to pause to give a history
lesson – maybe we can do that later when we
reach a quiet eddy in the river.
Right now the roiling current pulls us towards
the boulders – tribalism, greed, me-firstness,
bigotry, bullying, ego –
and I point my feet down the river
as the whitewater guides told me to do –
and I choose to keep my survival simple
for myself – Love. Love is my lifevest.
Keep it simple. I don’t have to choose sides
or who to love.
Keep it simple. I choose Love –
all-encompassing, all-enveloping,
universal, unconditional, all-inclusive Love.
I let Love guide me through the whitewater.

-Karen Molenaar Terrell

Below: Anderson Creek. Photo by Karen Molenaar Terrell.

A Fourth of July Gift from the Cosmos

My friends, something really cool happened today!

I felt the need to go to a quiet place – somewhere away from the crowds and noise. I headed for Clayton Beach.

I’d gotten about half-way down the trail to the beach when I heard happy laughter and chatting behind me. I turned around to see about a dozen women coming down the trail. I pulled off to the side so they could pass, and they stopped to chat for a bit. I learned they were a hiking group from Hillcrest Church in Fairhaven. And then one of the women in the back stepped forward and I recognized Francine – the mother of three of my former eighth graders – and the pediatrician who’d been called in at the birth of my oldest son. Francine is one of my favorite people, but I haven’t seen her for years. It was cosmic to run into her in the middle of a trail in the Chuckanut woods!

But wait! There’s more!

The group of women went ahead of me, and I followed behind, stopping to snap pictures every now and then. When I crossed the bridge over the train tracks, I found one of the women waiting for me on the other side. She asked me if I’d ever lived in Kitsap County. I told her that I’d actually graduated from high school there. She said she had, too, and then she asked me if I’d ever taught there. I almost answered no, and then I remembered that year I’d taken over a fifth grade class a month into the school year, years ago. It had been my first real teaching gig, and it had been a challenge for me. I told her the name of the school that had housed my fifth grade class, and she said she’d gone there, and so had her younger brother, David. She said she thought I’d been her brother’s teacher, and gave his last name. Immediately the face of her brother came into my thoughts – I remembered him, and I remembered what a cool kid he was!

I asked her where David was now, and she let me know he’d passed ten years ago. My heart sank. I told Julie how much I’d enjoyed her little brother. And then Julie told me that she remembered me as being a positive part of David’s life, and she remembered her parents had liked me. That meant a lot to me – I hadn’t felt like a success that year. To know that I’d had a positive impact on even one child’s life was a healing thing.

I went on down to the beach, took a right between the big rocks, and looked out at the water for a while. There was a nice breeze blowing down there. I always feel Love speaking to me when there’s a nice breeze, and I feel the love of loved ones who have departed. I thought about David and Francine and Francine’s children. Sweet memories. Sweet connections.

I moved back to the main beach. A pup came bounding down to the beach from the trail, leaped onto a log, bounced onto another log, and scampered back to her humans. She was delightful. Her humans gave me permission to take more photos of Tulia, and I managed to capture one of her as she peeked over a log at me.

I met up with the women from the Hillcrest church again before I started back up the trail. I told Julie that she had David’s eyes, and she smiled and asked, “I do?” I told her yes, I remembered David’s bright eyes. Francine and I hugged again, and she took a picture of us together to show to her daughter.

When I got to the bridge over the train tracks, I moved to the mesh wires to take a picture of the tracks, and just at that moment an AmTrak train came around the curve as if just for me! Grinning, I waved to the train and snapped pictures as it moved towards me.

It was a lovely walk back through the woods and to my car. My heart was all filled up with the wonder of the unexpected gifts the Cosmos continually sends me.

Thinking of Pop on His Birthday

Pop was born on June 21, 1918, and lived 101 years after that. He died the day before the first case of the pandemic was reported in this country. He had impeccable timing.

Pop was a well-known mountaineer. You can find him here in wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dee_Molenaar

But more important to me, personally, than his mountaineering achievements, was who he was as my dad. In the last years of his life, he lived near me, and we were able to spend a lot of time together – going on drives, and exploring the highways and byways of this part of the state.

I wrote a couple books about our adventures together in his later years. Here’s an excerpt from the first one, *Are You Taking Me Home Now?: Adventures with Dad*:

“I Don’t Want to Run Errands”

May 29, 2017

Dad: Let’s head out into the open countryside, head towards the coast.
Karen: Let’s do it!
Dad: I don’t want to go into the city. I don’t want to run errands with you.
(I nod my head in understanding.)
Dad: (His voice cracking.) I love you.
Karen: I love you, too.
Dad: It’s nice that we have each other to love.
Karen: Yes, it is!
Dad: Thank you for including me when you take these drives.
(I smile – I take these drives FOR Dad.)

I turn onto Samish Island Road, thinking maybe I’ll go to Bayview State Park.
Dad: Have you ever been to that little island that’s connected to the land?
Karen: Samish Island? Do you want to go there?
(Dad nods his head, and I head out to do the loop around Samish Island.)
Dad: Is Mom alive?
(I shake my head no.)
Dad: I had a dream that she’d died. (He starts tearing up.) I think I’ve already mourned her.
(Dad’s quiet for a bit. We’ve almost finished the Samish Island loop now.)
Dad: Can we see Mount Rainier from here?
Karen: I think it’s hidden behind those hills.
Dad: Let’s go someplace where we can walk on a beach.
(I head for Bayview State Park.)

After parking, Dad and I make our way to a bench near the beach. When I’m getting Dad’s walker out of the back of the car, I see the cans of root beer I put in there months ago – I’d bought them for Dad, and had forgotten about them. Now I grab one, join Dad on the bench, and hand the root beer to him. His face lights up and he smiles and takes it from me.
Dad: Do you ever dream about Mom?
Karen: Yes. I had a dream that she was sitting on the top bed of a bunk bed, dangling her feet over the edge. She had a happy, mischievous smile on her face. There was an open casket on the bed behind her. She said, “I’m done with this!” and hopped down. I felt like she was done with the whole dead-thing, and was happy. Have you had a dream about Mom?
Dad: Yes. I dreamed she died.
Karen: She loved you, and loves you very much.
Dad: She was such a wonderful person.
Karen: Yes, she is!
(Dad and I are quiet for a while, just enjoying the sunshine.)
Dad: This is nice here. I’m glad we made this stop. That’s a nice, gentle breeze. It smells like saltwater. (He belches and laughs at his own belch.)

When we get back in the car, Dad says he had a dream where he had to fart once, but there was no place to fart. He starts laughing – cracking himself up. I’m laughing, too. Then Dad asks, “Do you and Mom have a lot of nice conversations?” And I tell him that we do.

As we’re heading back to Dad’s home, he turns his head and points, “That would make a happy picture! That house all covered in flowers! But I don’t have my camera with me…” I turn the car around and head back to the flower-bedecked house, and get out my camera for Dad to snap a photo.

We get back to his home, and Dad doesn’t recognize it at first – he has moved three times in the last year, and it’s all a little confusing. I explain that their last home couldn’t take Mom and him back when Mom got sick. And then when Mom passed, we had to find another home for Dad. I tell Dad that I felt that Mom had directed us to this place – a place with hummingbird feeders and cats and dogs. Dad asks, “So Mom knows these people then?” And I think about this, and then nod my head yes. (I believe Mom does know these people, even if they never actually met in the person.)

Dad gets back in the house and doesn’t recognize anything. I ask him if he wants to go to his room – and he asks, “I have a room here?” I point the way, and once he enters he says, “Oh! I remember this place now!” He sees his paintings on the walls, and pictures of his friends and family. He realizes he’s home. He starts grinning at himself and says, “I’ve been thanking these people for allowing me to stay here.”

Dad points to a book by Leif Whittaker about Leif’s father, Jim. “I think I got that book for Christmas.” I tell him that I think Jim Whittaker gave him that book when he came to visit him here. “Jim visited me here?!” Yes, I tell him, also his friends Rick and Cindy, and Tom Hornbein, and Mary from the Mountaineers. Dad is shaking his head in amazement now. He says, “The things I’ve forgotten would fill a book!”

Karen: Are you going to take a nap now?
Dad: Yes, I want to make that transition into the dream.
Karen: What dream is that?
Dad: (Tearing up.) The dream about the real world. (And I know he’s thinking about the world where Mom is still with him.)
Karen: I love you, Dad.
Dad: I love you, Karen.

Seeing the Humanity in ALL People

I’m going to assume that when Michelle Obama speaks of seeing the “humanity in all people” she really means ALL people – every race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, age, size, and political leaning – and, yes, that includes the MAGA folks, too. It saddens and distresses me when the inspiring speeches made by the Obamas are used as just another way to vent hate on “the others.” We have enough of that already. Maybe we can take a moment and honor the Obamas by trying to look for the good in EVERYone, and nurturing that.

“So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them… And God saw everything He had made and, behold, it was very good.” – Genesis 1

Humoristianity Not Included on Defense Department List

My dear Humoristian hooligans –

The U.S. Defense Department does not recognize Humoristianity on its list of religions. We are humbled by this gratifying acknowledgement of Humoristianity’s non-acknowledgement, and are pleased to join the likes of the UU, atheists, agnostics, Wiccans, deists, followers of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and others in our non-inclusion. It is an honor we do not take lightly.

Humoristianity was established in 2007 on the Amazon Religion forum by…well…me.

The mission of Humoristianity is to spread laughter and good will across our planet. Here are the tenets to the one true fallacious faith:

1) You must be able to laugh at yourself.

2) You must be able to recognize how ludicrous your beliefs might appear to others.

3) You must want nothing but good for everyone, everywhere in the universe.

4) You must have a natural aversion to meetings, committees, and scheduled events (as we will be having none of those).

***

May your irrepressible good will reach those athirst for kindness in a desert of bigotry and fear. May you bring laughter to those in desperate need of a good laugh. May your joy lighten the burden of those carrying a heavy load of hopelessness and despair. May the stodgy, stuffy, and stingy, the bigots, bullies, and busybodies, be transformed by your good humor and love for humanity.

Long live Humoristianity!

Karen

Tearing Up at the Sweetness of It

I just have to share this quick glimmer I experienced today in Fred Meyer’s. I put myself in line behind a little family – a mother, a girl of grade school age, and a little boy sitting in the seat in the shopping cart. The little boy was shaking a tube of candy and making it rattle, and he was having such fun with that, I found myself grinning as I watched him. I asked him how old he was – and I held up two fingers and then three – “Two? Three?” He held up three fingers in response, and said, “Three.” I told him my granddaughter was going to be three in a couple months, too. The little boy’s mother turned around and smiled at me then. She knew she was looking at a grandma.

I asked the little girl if she was a big sister, and she smiled and nodded her head. I told her I was a big sister, too – I have two little brothers, and I know what it means to be the “big sister.” I told her I could tell she was a good big sister, and she smiled.

The mother and daughter talked in Spanish for a moment, then I saw the little girl get out her own wallet. The mother had already paid for her groceries, but now the little girl was going to pay herself for her own art supplies. Her mother patiently helped her count out the money – one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten – the total for the purchase had been $9.93 – so now the mother and daughter counted out three pennies, so that the little girl would get a dime back. They carefully put the cash and pennies in the cashier’s hand, and the cashier smiled and placed a dime back in the little girl’s hand.

And I can’t even tell you what there was about this exchange that so touched me, but I found myself tearing up at the sweetness of it.

And the Cosmos Replied: Love

Here’s where I am right now, she said.
I need a reason to go on.
Does anything I do or say or write
make any difference,
or fix what’s wrong?

Platitudes and preaching,
sermons and lectures
from the “experts” –
aren’t helping or healing
or making anything better.

Why am I here? she asked.
The age-old question.
I see cruelty, selfishness, greed, hate
going unchecked. I see evil rewarded,
and true heroes unsupported,
and the unfairness of it is killing me.

I see and hear people who I thought
were my friends saying the most
hateful things – condoning murder
and torture – with faces that show
no remorse, or recognition of the rot
of civilization.

I feel like I’m in the land of the walking
dead, she said, like the zombies
are already here among us,
with their bland and placid faces
reciting the lies they’ve been fed.

I feel hopeless, she said.
Hopeless and helpless,
mourning the loss of decency,
and kindness, of honesty
and intelligence and grace.
I need a reason to go on, she said.

And the Cosmos answered:
Love.

-Karen Molenaar Terrell

“There is a large class of thinkers whose bigotry and conceit twist every fact to suit themselves. Their creed teaches belief in a mysterious, supernatural God, and in a natural, all-powerful devil. Another class, still more unfortunate, are so depraved that they appear to be innocent. They utter a falsehood, while looking you blandly in the face, and they never fail to stab their benefactor in the back. A third class of thinkers build with solid masonry. They are sincere, generous, noble, and are therefore open to the approach and recognition of Truth.”
-Mary Baker Eddy, Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, p. 450

“I Really Need a Smile Today”

Okay, so I was a little obnoxious yesterday. (But what else is new, right?)

In the last week, I’ve noticed that people aren’t as quick to exchange smiles with me as they used to be. At first I took this personally – thought there might be something wrong with my appearance in some way – but I quickly rid myself of that notion – I mean, I’m as glorious as ever, right?

It occurred to me that maybe folks are really struggling right now and that smiles are just really hard for them to summon up. I decided it was time to bring out all my weapons of kindness.

I made a quick stop at one supermarket to use their restroom and see if they had a couple items I was looking for. There’s an employee storage room kitty corner to the restroom and I smiled at a man standing in the door to the storage room and he… well, he didn’t smile back. And then another employee came out of the restroom and I smiled at her, and again, nada. I smiled at a third employee who was stocking stuff, and got nothing. So I asked her – in just a chatty way – “People don’t smile any more, do they?” And SHE SMILED A BRILLIANT SMILE, and said that she’s noticed that, too.

I found the items I was looking for and went to the self-checkout. I smiled at the woman who was overseeing the checkout, and got nothing. So I scanned all my items and paid, with her in the background watching. And then I asked her about the bag I’d brought in for my groceries – it used to be when I’d put it in the bagging area after I’d rung my items up, that I’d be tagged by security as trying to steal the bag – was that going to happen now? She SMILED and said they’d changed things, so that wouldn’t happen anymore. I told her I’d known I’d be okay because she’d been watching me and knew what I was up to, and she laughed. I thanked her for doing such a good job, and she smiled again, and pointed at my shopping bag. It says “DOCTORS WITHOUT BORDERS” on it and she wondered if I was a traveling doctor. I told her no, but I donate to the group. And she thanked me for doing that.

I wheeled my groceries out to my car. I noticed a man of about my age, wearing a safety vest, was cleaning up the parking lot with one of those stick things. I wheeled my cart to the cart corral, and then got in my car and rolled down the window to speak to him. “Thank you,” I said. “Thank you for keeping the parking lot clean.” He looked surprised that I’d even noticed him, and smiled. He told me he was actually a store clerk, but his hours had been cut recently, and he’d been off work for a while. He’d just gotten called back to do what he was doing. I thanked him again for doing such a good job, and he smiled.

Now in another superstore, I smiled at a woman of about my age, and got a blank stare in return. I decided to try a different tack. “Hello,” I said to her. She turned and looked at me then, AND SMILED. “I just needed someone to smile at me, and you looked like someone who would do that,” I said to her. She grinned then, and nodded, and gave me a beautiful smile.

Maybe in these interesting and challenging times, when it comes to smiles, sometimes I just need to be explicit: “I really need a smile today.”

“During this final conflict, wicked minds will endeavor to find means by which to accomplish more evil; but those who discern Christian Science will hold crime in check. They will aid in the ejection of error. They will maintain law and order, and cheerfully await the certainty of ultimate perfection.”
Mary Baker Eddy, Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, p. 97