There are moments of such beauty
I’m moved to tears.
Little bursts of light in the darkness
that are bigger than my fears.
To be alive to see even a moment
of the beauty that can be
is worth the other moments
of darkness in between.
-Karen Molenaar Terrell
(Photos by Karen Molenaar Terrell.)
At two in the morning on the day of the election I woke up feeling like I was riding on a collective wave of joy – like I was part of a cosmic celebration. I hadn’t had that feeling before an election since… well, I don’t think I’ve ever had that feeling before an election, so I took this feeling as a good sign – as a sign that everything was going to go as I hoped it would.
And when things didn’t go as I hoped, I found myself in a crisis, wondering if everything I believe about the power of Love and Truth is a lie. Wondering if there really is a God.
What was kind of odd, though, was that – even as I was having these dark thoughts – I could feel Love with me, loving me. But I turned away from that sense of Love-with-me and tossed and turned for a while before I finally got to sleep.
Here’s what happened today:
– The youngest son called to see how I was doing and just hearing his voice through the line – and hearing his wife’s laughter in the background – lifted me up.
– I decided to go for a hike at Lake Padden. On the way I pulled over, and put my emergency lights on, to take a picture of a reflection on Lake Samish. Before I even got out of the car, another car did a u-turn and the driver – a twenty-something with piercings on her face, and a kind smile – pulled in behind me to check on me and make sure I was alright. I was so grateful for her kindness in stopping to check on me! I felt myself lifted up a bit more.
– As I sat at a picnic table at Lake Padden, a little dog named Lock trotted over to me for a pet on his back. He sat with me for several minutes as I petted him, every now and then looking up at me with a look of pure love on his face. It was like having my own emotional support dog there, comforting me with his sweetness.
– I passed a woman named April, with her dog, Aspen. Like Lock, Aspen approached me for a scratch behind the ears. And when April and I got to talking we realized we were both processing the same election shock. Pretty soon we were joined by Judy, who also was dealing with election trauma. We gave each other a group hug, and then Judy let us know that there was a young woman sitting up at the picnic table who was struggling. So April and I (and Aspen) went to join the woman at the picnic table. She was wearing a gay pride rainbow hat, and she was soon joined by two friends who let us know they were from the LGBTQ community. The woman in the rainbow hat and her friends were all feeling scared and abandoned by their country. April and I let them know that they aren’t alone – that we’re standing together with them.
– When I got home I clicked into Facebook and found my friend, Jay Bowen, had posted a post about a vigil being held at the Burlington Lutheran Church. So I zipped my jacket back on and headed for the church.
I hadn’t really cried, yet, but as soon as I entered the church I felt tears welling up in my eyes, and by the time I’d seated myself on a pew I was quietly sobbing and shaking – I hadn’t know that was in me until then. A woman in the pew ahead of me turned around and it was Becky! – a parent of one of my former eigthh graders. Becky went up to the first pew and grabbed a box of tissues for me and then came back and gave me a hug. Not long after I saw Becky, I recognized another friend, Kaci – who was seated in the second row. I approached Kaci and touched her arm, and when she turned around and saw me, her eyes opened wide and she reached out for a hug. We cried healing tears together for a couple of minutes, before I returned to my pew.
The speakers in the Lutheran church spoke of allowing people to mourn in their own way; spoke of the courage and endurance that have overcome tribulation in the past; spoke of the importance of community and family; spoke of the importance of appreciating every breath and moment; spoke of not letting ayone take our smiles and humor; and spoke of a loving God whose intent isn’t to bring us doom, but to bring healing to us and through us.
It was comforting to be with other people today who were dealing with the same things I’m dealing with.
And now, sitting here, I realize the message the Cosmos has been sending me all day: “You are not alone. The world is full of people (and pups) who care. You are loved.” And maybe that’s all the reason I need to celebrate with the Cosmos. Maybe the wave of joy I felt early in the morning on election day had nothing to do with the election, and everything to do with divine Love. Love is not dependent on human circumstances, and we can never be separated from it.
-Karen Molenaar Terrell
Cosmic!
October 8, 2024
Last week my son, Xander, and I planned a trip up to Mount Baker today. But this morning when I woke up and checked the weather it looked like it was pretty miserable up there. The son and I decided to call the trip off. A couple hours later, though, when I checked the weather again, it looked like there might actually be some sunshine at Baker. So I texted my son and told him about the change in the weather forecast, and asked him if he’d like to give it a try. Then I opened my thoughts up to the Cosmos and put the day in Her hands. I decided I’d be happy with however the day evolved for me.
Pretty soon the son texted back and said he still wanted to go up there. Within the hour I’d picked him up and we were on the road.
And it was glorious up there! We stopped at Picture Lake to take some quick pictures of Mount Shuksan (and we got there at the just right time – not long after we left the clouds moved in and blanketed Shuksan). We did a quick little hike on the nature trail at Heather Meadows and then went on up to the Artist Point parking lot and hiked up to the top of Artist Point.
On the way up we came upon a bride and groom, Sarah and Etienne, in full wedding regalia, and they cheerfully agreed to let me snap a quick photo. Later I asked a couple from Canada if they’d like me to take a picture of them together with their camera and they thanked me and said yes. On the way down we ran into them again, and this time I asked Kathy if I could take a picture of her with her sweet pup, Coriander.
It was such a lovely day – a gift from the Cosmos. I really needed this.
Look for my butterfly photo on the last page of the latest Mother Earth News. (Found a copy at the Mount Vernon Co-Op and, of course, had to let everyone within hearing distance know all about this. They were very patient with me.)
T’was the day they call Valentine’s
and o’er all the land
folks were giving out cards
from hand-to-hand.
There were cards with lace
and cards with big hearts
cards with words that rhyme
and cards with moveable parts.
There were funny cards
and romantic cards,
friendship cards and more.
But what they all had in common
was the love at their core.
I love you!
-Karen Molenaar Terrell
(Random heart photos by Karen Molenaar Terrell.)
Kurt Vonnegut said, “I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, ‘If this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is.'”
And this morning I took notice. This morning was magic – from beginning to end – this morning was magic:
I decided today would be a good day to make my monthly drive to La Conner and pay my broadband bill. As I was getting in my car to head out, I had my first snow geese sighting of the year – a flock of them flew right over our house!
I stopped on the way to La Conner to take a quick walk on the Padilla Bay Dike Trail, and saw a blue heron flapping around a couple of egrets – that was very cool – I don’t often see egrets up here. And I don’t think I’ve ever seen them with a heron.
Jolyne and Jeri were both manning the broadband office today – I always enjoy seeing them every month – they are a comedy team. Jolyne was talking today about starting a “J and J” podcast and I would watch that, for sure.
After I paid my bill I headed towards the La Conner boardwalk for a walk along the Swinomish Channel. On my way to the boardwalk I spotted a squirrel hopping along the street, one of the last of this year’s dragonflies, and a bee on the last of this year’s flowers. I met a man named Don on the boardwalk, in La Conner for a reunion with some of his friends from the Seattle University class of 1962. As we chatted I found out he’d grown up in Winlock – he didn’t think I would have even heard of Winlock – but, coincidentally, I have a couple of friends who grew up there! It was fun to find that connection.
I hadn’t been planning this, but when I got to the Calico Cafe, I decided to turn in there for lunch. I asked for a seat outside, and the hostess led me to a nice seat in the sunshine where I could watch the seagulls and pigeons winging over the water, and the fishing boats motoring by on the channel. The hostess was cheery and helpful and brought me a mocha and punched my espresso card while I waited for the waitress.
It was perfect out there – just the right temperature – I could feel the sun warming my back. I felt safe and happy. I had everything I needed in that moment. And I looked around at all the life going on around me – the birds and the people and the little ladybug in the potted plants. Such joy!
When Kaya, the waitress, came for my order, I ordered a pesto froccacia scramble – scrambled eggs full of spinach, tomatoes, feta cheese, and focaccia bread. When Kaya brought it out, I just looked at the beauty of it for a moment. Took a picture of it with Kaya – I told her she had to be in the picture, too – and she graciously let me include her in the photo. I asked Kaya her name and she told me and then I told her my name was (pause for dramatic effect) “Karen” and she started laughing, passing my Karen Test.
Two women came into the outside dining area with a little girl skipping along behind them. The way the little girl approached life just tickled me. She was just so happy to be there. I chatted to the women and found out that they were sisters and the little girl was the daughter of one of them.
Kaya came up to give me a box for my leftovers and to give me my bill. I told her everything was just perfect. I was enjoying one of life’s perfect moments. She smiled and got a little teary and thanked me for sharing that.
As I got up to leave the mother of the little girl turned and wished me a good day, and I told her then that I love the way her little girl approached life – just so happy.
As I walked back to my car I passed a couple on the sidewalk and said, “Isn’t it a perfect day?” And they smiled and agreed it was.
I stopped to wave to the balcony of the apartment where Mom and Dad used to live, and felt Moz waving back to me. I felt her walking with me in Love.
This morning was perfect. And I’m so glad I let myself be conscious of that.
I love this time of year!
autumn leaves or orange, red, yellow
swirl around me in great gusts of wind
like the confetti at a joyous celebration
-Karen Molenaar Terrell
(Photos taken in Bellingham yesterday. Karen Molenaar Terrell)
Check it out! One of my photos of the tulip fields is on the back page of Mother Earth News this month.
(Just had to share.) 🙂
Karen Molenaar Terrell
Claim this moment.
And the next one.
And the next.
-Karen Molenaar Terrell
(Cellphone photo of Lake Samish sunrise. See the reflection of the moon? Photo by Karen Molenaar Terrell.)
Last sunset of twenty twenty-two
rotates into first sunrise of twenty-three
connecting yesteryear to a year that’s new
and what we were to what we’ll be.
I pull off the road to take this year’s
first photo and a man stops his car
to check if I need help and gives me
my first kind smile of the year.
I thank him and tell him I’m fine –
just taking in my first sunrise of a new time.
He laughs and says he understands
and watches with me as a swan lands
and we wish each other a good year.
And so it begins.
-Karen Molenaar Terrell
Adventures of the Madcap Christian Scientist 