Like a Happy Pinball in a Pinball Machine

A friend lost her granddaughter in the University of Idaho tragedy last week. I’ve been feeling shaky and ungrounded since learning about this. Yesterday I woke up needing reassurance from the Cosmos.

The Cosmos gave me a joyful hug and told me to get out of bed and get ready.

Soon a phone call came from our youngest son, Xander. The car he and his wife, Kyla, share had a flat tire and he needed a lift. I could help him with this – I had nothing on my schedule – a completely free day – and I couldn’t think of a better way to spend time than helping my loved one. So I drove up to Bellingham, picked up Xander, stopped at the co-op so he could buy groceries for their restaurant, and dropped him off at his business.

But now that I was already up in Bellingham I thought maybe I could park at Waypoint Park and walk up to the Farmers Market – get a little exercise and explore. So I parked at Waypoint Park, but before I started up to the Farmers Market I decided to give my oldest son, Andrew, a call to see what he was up to. Turns out he and his wife had just that moment decided to go to lunch at the Vietnamese restaurant a few blocks from where I was parked, and they invited me to join them. They said it was their turn to buy ME a meal. I humbly accepted their invitation.

I had a lovely meal at the Soy House Restaurant with Andrew and Christina. A healing peace surrounded me in the restaurant. Vietnamese music played in the background and pretty paper lanterns of autumn colors hung from the ceiling. And there I was – with loved ones – eating good food and sharing stories.

I told Andrew that his dad was installing our dishwasher and the dishwasher had come with extra pieces, and pieces that didn’t align with other pieces, and that at one point I’d suggested we bring our son with the engineering degree down to help – a rocket scientist might be useful at a time like this. Andrew said he’d be happy to come down and help and suggested that he ride down with me back home and then I could bring him back to Bellingham when I fetched Xander later on.

So we brought Christina back to their place, and then Andrew returned with me to the homestead to lend his support to the dishwashing project, and to work in our back field, clearing out blackberry vines.

We spent a lovely few hours together – tromping around in the frosted wetland – making plans about where we’d plant the cedar seedlings that keep popping up in our deck boxes. It was so wonderful to have Andrew with us for a while.

And then it was back to Bellingham to pick up Xander’s car and bring it to him at his restaurant. When we dropped off the key to Xander’s car, he and his wife, Kyla, invited us to join them for dinner later on – they would pay, they said. We humbly accepted the invitation, and then Andrew and I spent time until the dinner rendez-vous in his apartment, where he unfolded his little keyboard piano from the corner and regaled me with a private concert. “What instrument do you want?” he asked, as he prepared the piano, and I told him an oboe – so he pushed a button or two and I heard the deep, full tones of an oboe come out as he made his music. Peace filled the space.

We met up with Xander and Kyla for a vegan dinner – sat together at a table near the heating lamp – and laughed and talked and enjoyed each other’s company for the next hour.

And I shared how I’d started my day – by asking the Cosmos for reassurance. And I told Xander that – I know it maybe wasn’t under the best circumstances for him – but I was really glad he’d called for help. I’d spent the day like a happy pinball in a pinball machine – bouncing from one lovely moment with my family to the next.

The death of my friend’s granddaughter had really shaken me. I’d felt the loss deep in my own body and I’d wanted – still want – to somehow make it so that that tragedy never happened and no one had to feel the pain of it. But maybe that tragedy has also served to make me more grateful for the love and family in my own life – and maybe that’s one way I can honor the victims at the University of Idaho.

I asked the Cosmos for reassurance, and the Cosmos gave me reassurance over-flowing. Love still is.

October 2, 2017

October 2nd –
It’s already been said – over and over, again and again, by people much wiser and more eloquent than me. Not much I can add, I guess. But I do want to share a couple things that happened to me today…

I stopped at Sisters Espresso for my morning mocha on my way to work. Courtney was at the window. I can’t remember what she said now – something from her heart – and I came around to the door and she opened it for me and we hugged. And she gave me a mocha on the house. And that little mocha meant so much to me.

At lunch I decided to get out into the sunshine and walk down to the co-op. As I was walking down the overpass I felt my face start to crumple a little – thinking about all the sadness in the world. And then I heard someone honk and I turned and this older gentleman wearing a veteran’s cap and driving a little econo-car smiled and gave me a friendly wave. I waved back. Later, as I was walking back up from the co-op the same man drove by – and again he honked and waved – I looked over and waved back, and he asked me if I needed a lift somewhere. And it was so sweet – his effort to help me – it really warmed my heart. I thanked him, and told him no I was fine. And he wished me a good day – not just a flippant good day – but a genuine good day. I felt like I’d connected with a good Samaritan, you know?

Later, my co-worker, Melanie, came up to my office to chat. We talked a little about what was going on in the world, and she said something really simple and profound and true: “Remember that there’s a lot more good in the world than bad.”

And so that’s where I am right now. Remembering all the good in the world – and that includes you – yes, you who are reading this. Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for the humor you share on here, and the inspiration, and the cool things that happen in your life. Thank you for caring.

Bow Sunrise

Sunrise on the way to work. October 2, 2017. Photo by Karen Molenaar Terrell.