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About Karen Molenaar Terrell

Karen's stories have appeared in *Newsweek*, *The Christian Science Monitor*, and *Pack and Paddle Magazine* and she's the author of *Are You Taking Me Home Now?: Adventures with Dad*, *The Second Hundred Years: Further Adventures with Dad*, *The Brush of Angel Wings*, *The Madcap Christian Scientist* series, *A Poem Sits on my Windowsill*, *Finding the Rainbows: Lessons from Dad and Mom*, and co-author of *The Humoristian Chronicles: A Most Unusual Fellowship*. Her photos are featured in the spring 2014 edition of the *Bellingham Review*, and the "Photos from the Field" page of the April/May 2017, December/January 2018-2019, April/May 2019, and June/July 2020 issues of of *Mother Earth News*. Her photos can be found here: https://www.flickr.com/photos/60803140@N06/ Her books can be found here: http://www.amazon.com/Karen-Molenaar-Terrell/e/B0044P90RQ/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1?qid=1312060042&sr=8-

Our Cats Are Awake Now

And now it’s O Brother, Where Art Thou? on Roku
one of my favorite movies and we’re just at the part
where the Soggy Bottom Boys are singing the blues
in the studio, singing with their hearts
and our cats are awake now and wanting to be fed
maybe I’ll feed them and then go back to bed
-Karen Molenaar Terrell

Too Far Back in the Poem to Count

I awake at three in the morning
the magic hour
and go downstairs to find
some way to use this gift of extra time
Ten Things I Hate About You is free
on Roku
that’s cool
so that becomes my background movie
while I scroll through Eff Bee
and write a poem – this poem
and now Heath Ledger is singing
“I love you, baby!” as he dances his way
across the bleachers – up and down –
and I try to imagine who he’d be now
if he was still with us here
and you’d think there’d be something
somewhere in here that rhymes
time rhymes with rhyme, but it’s too
far back in the poem to count
sometimes free verse is what it’s all about
-Karen Molenaar Terrell

“Unarmed Truth and Unconditional Love”

“I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. This is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant.”
– Martin Luther King, Jr. 

Years ago, when I was a teenager maybe, I remember seeing a Star Trek episode that showed a man who was half-black and half-white in a struggle with another man who was half-black and half-white – they were enemies because of their color – and I remember looking at them, thinking, “But… they’re BOTH half-black and half-white… what’s the issue here?” And at the end of the episode we finally see that the reason they’re enemies is because one of them is white on the right side of his body, and the other is white on the left side of his body, and… yeah… I remember thinking how absolutely ridiculous it all was for them to hate each other just because they were colored differently on different sides. But it is, of course, no more ridiculous than hating someone just because they’re all ONE color, and that color is different than ours.

The summer after I graduated from high school – which was about ten years after the Watts Riots –  I traveled with my dad to California. Dad had grown up in Los Angeles, and he wanted to revisit his old neighborhood and see his childhood home once again. As we drove the streets to his old home, I noticed that we were the only white faces in a several-mile radius.

Dad pulled up in front of a little house, and his face lit up – “This was my home!” he said, getting out of the car. I followed him to the front door, where an African-American woman wearing a house-dress and a really surprised look on her face, appeared. Dad explained that he’d grown up in this house and asked if he could come in and take a look around and go out into the backyard where he’d played as a child. The woman smiled graciously and opened her door for us and allowed us into her home. I followed Dad through the house and out into the backyard where there was still the avocado tree he remembered from his childhood. He looked around, said it seemed smaller than he’d remembered it, and started talking about the happy years he’d spent in this yard as a child. Then he went back through the house, shook the woman’s hand, and thanked her for letting him re-visit his old home. Still looking kind of surprised to find these friendly White people traipsing through her house, she smiled back at dad, and told him he was welcome and it was no problem at all.

A block or so later Dad pulled into a gas station to fill the tank up, and a Black attendant came out to help us (this was in the days before people filled up their own cars with gas). He had that same surprised look on his face as the woman in Dad’s old house. He smiled, and filled up our tank for us, and, as we were ready to leave, said in a friendly way, a big smile on his face, “Come back again!”

Every time I think of this trip through that neighborhood in Los Angeles I start grinning. I’m pretty sure we were the only White people in years who’d come nonchalantly driving through that section of Los Angeles. I remember the surprised hospitality of the gas station attendant and the woman living in Dad’s old house, and it fills me up with a kind of joy. I remember my dad – totally oblivious to the fact that he was in a part of Los Angeles that most White people might find threatening – happily traveling down “Memory Lane,” shaking hands with the woman in his old house, greeting the gas station attendant with an open, natural smile – and it makes me really proud to be his daughter.

I am, likewise, proud to be my mother’s daughter. When I was a little girl – maybe eight or so – Mom took my little brothers and me shopping at the local mall. As we were looking at clothes a young African-American family walked by, also shopping. A large middle-aged White man standing near us turned to Mom and said something like, “Those people should stay in their own part of town.” My mom looked up at him, puzzled – she didn’t know what he was talking about at first. He pointed to the African-American family and repeated what he’d said. When my mom finally understood what he was talking about her face turned red with indignation. She looked up at him from her height of 5’2″ and, her voice shaking with emotion, said, “That family has as much right to be here as you or me! We are all God’s children!” The White man realized then that he’d picked the wrong person to share his racism with, and sort of stepped back and disappeared from the store.

I’m really grateful to have been raised by parents for whom  the color of people’s skin was a  non-issue, and kindness towards everyone was considered natural and normal.

Thou to whose power our hope we give,
Free us from human strife.
Fed by Thy love divine we live,
For Love alone is Life;
And life most sweet, as heart to heart
speaks kindly when we meet and part.
– Mary Baker Eddy

“The time is always right to do what is right.” 
– Martin Luther King, Jr. 

(Originally published in 2017.)

Facing Wild Pigs in the Black Forest and Assembling a Side Table

Two years ago the son
landed in Vienna and called to ask me to pray –
he’d picked up some weird virus along the way.
Two years minus a month ago he wrote to say
he’d just faced wild pigs in the Black Forest,
on a most epic day.
Two years minus two months ago
borders were closing behind him
as he traveled from where they spoke German
to where they spoke Dutch,
and I wished I could touch
him again and worried a mama’s worries.
And now he sits on the floor of our family home,
quietly assembling a side table for the family room.

It’s amazing how much joy I get from watching
my son assemble a side table for the family room.
-Karen Molenaar Terrell

For Eugene Goodman

I can’t know exactly what went through your mind that day –
you’ve been reluctant to step into the limelight and say –
you’ve been humble, wanting to fade quietly into the background.
But the impulse that led you to step to the front on January sixth –
the impulse that made you run towards hell –
when our government was on the verge of being felled
by its own people – continues to give me hope for our nation.
Maybe for you the choice was no choice –
you could no more have run away from the terror of that day
than the sun can stop shining. You simply did what heroes do
without question or thought.
You are a miracle. You represent the best in us.
-Karen Molenaar Terrell

A Prayer

(Click here for audio.)

Feel God as infinite Love, infinite Truth – all-power, all-presence, filling all space; protecting, guiding, guarding. There’s nowhere and no one living outside of Love’s embrace. No one is ever separated from Love’s power and presence and protection. No one is ever outside of Love’s realm.

Know yourself as God’s child. You are God’s reflection, expression, manifestation, image and likeness. All you can be is what Love made you to be. All you can know is Love’s presence and power. You are strong and brave and whole and beautiful and healthy and confident. You are what God made you to be.

Love is all-in-all.

“Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.”
– Isaiah 41: 10

“For with God nothing shall be impossible.”
-Luke 1:37

May: Sunrise over Skagit County, WA

Dismantling Christmas for Another Year

Click here to hear the audio version.

Woke up at three in the morning. I stayed in bed for a while, just contemplating life. Then I padded downstairs to say good-bye to the Christmas tree. The cats stared at the tree with me for a few minutes in quiet fellowship, and said good-bye to it, too.

Then, while my family slept, I quietly dismantled Christmas – the cats batting Christmas balls around on the floor while I wrapped and tucked the decorations back in their boxes. I said good-bye to the nativity scene on the piano, the angel on top of the tree, the popsickle stick decorations the sons made in school, the decorations students gave me, the old Hallmark decorations, the decorations I bought years ago at the Rite Aid in their post-Christmas sale, the dragonfly tree decorations from the gift shop that closed down a decade ago, the decorations from Mom and Dad’s old tree. And then I looked at the tree, standing bare and exposed in front of me, and I thanked her for bringing her sap-scent into our home and told her how grateful I was for her. I gently tugged her outside to the front porch, swept up her needles from the floor, and went to bed.

Everyone was up and downstairs when I woke up again. I came downstairs and acted surprised. “Who took down the Christmas tree?!” I asked. “Did you take it down?!” I asked Scott.

But they all knew. It was Santa Claus who took down Christmas and brought it back to the North Pole for another year. Duh.

Christmas Lights

Heading into 2022 Without Betty White

We’re heading into 2022 without Betty White and I find that kind of disorienting. Betty White was like family for a lot of us, and learning that she has passed has hit hard.

White was an amazing example of how to live a life. She was brilliant, witty, kind, talented, funny, generous, lively, bold, brave, spunky – just a beautiful individual.

She was just two weeks shy of her 100th birthday, and I guess – like my Dad, who lived to 101 – instead of making me think she was coming to the end of her life, her many years just reaffirmed for me the idea that she would go on living forever. I found myself wiping away tears tonight when I learned I was wrong about this.

I’m sure going to miss her.

Our world is not going to look the same without her in it.

The Snow Crunches Under My Boots

The snow crunches under my boots 
as I walk alone under the stars
shining above clouds in a navy blue sky.
It’s twenty degrees Fahrenheit and my breath
turns into steam as it leaves my mouth.
I keep my eyes on one star and let it pull me
into space with it. Feeling at one with infinity.
=Karen Molenaar Terrell

(Photo by Karen Molenaar Terrell.)

Blue Cosmos (photo by Karen Molenaar Terrell)

Snow Falling on My Face

I lie on my back in the snow
and wave my arms to make angels.
It’s quiet and still, and I’m alone
except for the snowflakes that blow
and drift and dance gently towards me.
Peace.
-Karen Molenaar Terrell

Here’s a video of snow falling on my face.

(Photo below by Karen Molenaar Terrell.)

Snow Reflection