I can imagine it – all the world waking up one morning as if from a strange dream – shaking our heads to clear the last of it from our thoughts and looking around at the beauty surrounding us – the beauty that’s always been here – as if we’re seeing it for the first time. I can imagine us blinking our eyes at the wonder of the first sunrise after our collective awakening. Looking at each other with new eyes – recognizing the Love that’s always bound and connected us to each other. Seeing in each other the splendor of our universal body. I can imagine it like it’s happening right now.
Lincoln City, Day One: I’m thinking the world’s problems could be solved if we all just gathered on the shores of our earth’s oceans and looked out towards the horizon together – watched the waves rolling into shore, and shared agates with each other.
I saw the figure of a woman standing at the edge of the ocean, looking towards the waves. There was something poignant and dear about the way she stood there. Later she approached me as I looked for agates. She asked me what I was looking for, and I told her. She asked what an agate was, and I described what an agate would look like. I hoped that I would just look down and find one to give her, but that didn’t happen right away.
I told her I’d taken her photo and showed her the picture. I said there was something very sweet about the way she looked out towards the ocean. Kristi told me her father had died just last week, after being diagnosed with cancer ten days before. She said his passing had been sweet and tender. “He went home to Jesus,” she said. She said his passing had been different than other deaths she’d witnessed. It had been peaceful.
And just then I looked down and saw an agate looking up at me. I plucked it up and gave it to Kristi. “Here’s an agate!” I said. “This one is from your dad.” She smiled at the idea of that, and let me take her picture holding the agate.
A little later I met Todd and Donna searching the rock beds for agates and other treasures. I learned Todd and Donna had traveled all the way from Indiana to make their first visit to the PNW. They were such fun!
Todd and I exchanged mountaineering stories. He said he’d climbed up to the top of a 13,900′ peak in Colorado while he was on a hunting trip, and the elevation had really gotten to him. I told him I’d climbed Rainier, Baker, Adams, and Hood in the PNW with no problems – but it was when I climbed Mount Harvard in Colorado that the elevation had effected me – I had to vomit in the nearest hole. He said he enjoyed hiking around in the Appalachians and I told him a friend of mine had just finished the AT this week! He described how he came off a short hike on the AT one time and someone had asked him if he’d just finished the Appalachian Trail. Todd started laughing then – he said he was wearing sneakers and had none of the equipment that would make him look like he’d just completed the AT, but it was fun that someone thought he had.
We all talked about the nice people we’d met in Lincoln City. We agreed that this was a nice break from all the division and politics going on right now and agreed we weren’t even going to talk about that stuff. We were simply people enjoying the ocean together. People enjoying other people.
A little further down the beach, little Buddy came scampering towards me for a hug and a scratch behind the ears.
Lincoln City, Day 2:
Agates and gnarly boulders, Banjo pup and her humans, Russ and Nan from Montana.
Russ recently left the forest service to go back to school to get his master’s in counseling. He told me a little of what had brought him to his new career choice, and I told him that the world really needs what he has to offer. Russ and Nan are good people, and Banjo is a good dog.
Lincoln City, Day 3: Our last morning in Lincoln City. Made one last trip to the beach before hitting the road.
Met Melinda and Ray hunting for beach treasures. I was impressed by how nimbly Ray skipped across the boulders – he said he didn’t want to hurt any of the sea life. And look at the cool heart rock Melinda found!
Jennifer said she was from Nevada where there’s “just dirt” and she was so excited to be in a place where she could look for agates. She said she’d just found little ones so far. “You’re just about to step on one,” I told her, pointing to the agate just behind her foot. She plucked the agate up, a big grin on her face, and said, “The biggest one so far!”
Little Chocko pup was shy at first, but I held my hand out for him, and he came up for a sniff and a scratch behind his ears.
***
Agates and pups and people to laugh with. Life’s simple pleasures. Heaven lives in Lincoln City, Oregon.
Below: (clockwise from upper left): Todd and Donna, Buddy, Melinda, Jennifer, Russ and Nan and Banjo, Kristi.
I’m one of those people who lies awake at night worrying about stuff I said the day before. I worry about hurting people’s feelings unintentionally; I worry about people thinking I was serious when i was just having fun; I worry about accidentally offending people.
Last night I worried about something I’d said in fun to a bank teller earlier in the day. I’d been standing in line for ten or 15 minutes while the tellers worked with two other individuals ahead of me who had complicated transactions. I was the only one in line for most of that time. Then a woman with a crutch came in and stood behind me and let me know that she was there because it appeared someone had gained access to her account. This was serious. So when a teller opened up another line – one with a chair for someone to sit down on – I told the woman behind me to go ahead – her business was more serious than mine. She thanked me and took the seat in front of the teller.
I waited. I waited some more. A couple more people came in behind me. And now both the other tellers finished their business with the previous customers. I was excited. I was almost there!
Then one of the tellers grabbed her purse and left (I didn’t blame her – she probably was finally going to get lunch). So now I waited for the other teller to signal me. And I waited. And finally I said, laughing, “Is it just me? That other teller took one look at me and said, ‘I’m out of here!'” The teller smiled and said she was just clearing a space for me and I could come up now.
She was very gracious. I learned that the man ahead of me had brought in 7,000 pennies to be turned into $70 cash and that it had taken some time to sort all that out. I was impressed by the teller’s patience and composure. My transaction went quickly and I left.
But as I was driving home I started worrying. Had the teller realized I’d just been having fun when I asked, “Is it just me?” Had I come across as – oh, the horror! – a “Karen”?
I worried. I worried some more. I worried much longer than I’d waited in that line at the bank.
I had a break from my worrying when Clara Kitty nestled in beside me for some cuddles. I realized that if I was spending time worrying I wouldn’t be focused on the love I could give right then to Clara. So I scratched her behind the ears and she licked my hand and for a little while I just stayed in the moment.
But when I went to bed I started worrying again.
This morning I decided to bring a home-made card to the teller, telling her how much I appreciated her kindness and patience yesterday. I wasn’t sure how this was going to work, exactly. I wasn’t sure if she’d even be at the bank, and, if she was at the bank, I wasn’t sure how I was going to manage to get to her counter. But I trusted that Love would sort all that out for me.
When I got to the bank I saw she was there! And the woman ahead of me in line appeared to be waiting for the OTHER teller because she stepped aside and waved me forward when the teller I wanted to see became available. How cool was that?!
I asked the teller her name – she said “Natasha” – and I told her I’d been impressed by how patient she was yesterday and how gracious, and I wanted to give her this card to thank her. I told her I hoped she knew I was having fun yesterday – I was worried that she’d thought I was serious. She started laughing and said she totally knew I was joking and she’d been grateful that I’d had a sense of humor about it all and wasn’t cranky like another customer might have been.
I felt a huge weight of worry lift from me! She had a sense of humor!!
I left the bank feeling like I was floating on Love. Empowered by Love. Powered by Love. I felt fearless and safe and impervious to bad stuff. I felt Love with me.
It’s only 2:00 pm and I’ve already had, like, a month’s worth of tears, beauty, and magic in this one day.
I woke up at 6:00 and immediately felt impelled to leave the house and explore and connect. It felt imperative. I can’t explain that for anyone who’s never felt it – but I figure some of you will understand.
I ended up in downtown Mount Vernon. It was probably only 7:30 or so at this point, and the streets were empty and the shops closed. I wandered down the length of First Street until I found myself at the Co-op. It was open. I bought myself a mocha and a blueberry strudel and took them upstairs to a table to sit and think. I sat facing the painting of my old friend, John “Peace Wizard” Bromet, who died in 2023. And I started sobbing. Not so’s anyone could hear me or anything. But my face scrunched up and the tears rolled down my cheeks. I can’t tell you what I was feeling right then – I’m not even sure myself. I think I was feeling a sense of loss, but… I think John’s portrait also sort of bolstered me. It was like I could feel him there with me, smiling and encouraging me.
I finished my strudel and started the trek back to my car, with the vague notion that I should head for the tulip fields.
I ended up at Tulip Time. I was one of the first ones to drive through the gates this morning.
The tulip fields were beautiful, of course – I think I’ll make another post just with tulip pictures – but the people I met this morning at Tulip Town were even more beautiful than the flowers.
In all the years I’ve lived in the Skagit Valley and have visited Tulip Town, I’d never before ridden in the Tulip Town trolley. But today I did! Mike drove us around the perimeter of the field and, sitting up high in the trolley, I had a vantage point I’d never had of the fields before. I waved to the other tulip tourists from the trolley, like I was on a parade float or something. And they waved back! It was cool.
As I was circling the field, I came upon a father trying to take a photo of his large family. I thought maybe he had a timer so he could include himself in the photo, but then I realized he didn’t – so I asked if I could take a photo of all of them. He agreed and handed me his camera. I learned that he and his wife and son were from Sammamish, and the rest of his family was visiting from India. One of the women had wrapped her whole head up in a scarf so only her eyes peeked out – and I learned that she’d just arrived from India yesterday where it was more than 100 degrees Fahrenheit. She was, understandably, cold. But she was also laughing at herself for being all wrapped up in her scarf. This family was fun. I welcomed the visitors from India to the States, and apologized for the cold. They all graciously posed for me in the tulips so that I could take a photo for myself of my new friends.
Just past the family from Sammamish and India, I saw a sweet pup smiling at me. Hallie’s human gave me permission to take her photo.
On the other side of the field I came upon a young man donned in a graduation hat and robe. HIs mom was with him to take a photo of him for his senior picture. Kaden was graduating from Bremerton High School, and he explained that what had brought him to the Skagit Valley for his senior picture were the tulip fields. He came from a military family, he said, and had lived all around the world – and he remembered the tulip fields that had been near Amsterdam when his father had been stationed there. I asked Kaden if I could take a photo of him, too, and he gave me the okay.
I went inside the Tulip Town gift shop, and browsed for a bit. I saw a woman trying to take a selfie in front of a display of red tulips, and asked her if I could take her picture for her. She nodded her head and handed me her cellphone and I snapped a picture, and then she put her arm around my shoulders and pulled me in for a photo of the two of us! That was pretty fun. I asked her if I could take a photo of the two of us with my camera and she nodded her head. When I asked her name, she used her cellphone to translate her words and explained that she didn’t speak English well – she was originally from China – and her name was Kelly.
And see? That’s what’s so cool about our tulip fields – we don’t have to travel around the world to meet people from different nations and cultures – people from different nations and cultures come here! Today I met a young man who wanted to be near tulip fields because he’d once lived in Amsterdam; I met a family visiting from India; and I met a woman who’d originally come from China.
I understand now why I’d felt impelled to leave my house this morning. Look at all the magic that was waiting for me “out there”!
Below: John “Peace Wizard” Bromet; Viral and his family; Kelly and me; Kaden in his graduation robe; sweet Hallie pup.
Scott drops me off at SeaTac. I follow a family with young children – they look like they know what they’re doing. Somehow I end up in front of them in the security check line. I turn around and tell them I was following them because it looked like they knew where to go and they started laughing. No, they tell me, they don’t know what they’re doing. I show them my passport, clutched tightly in my hand, and tell them I’m constantly checking to make sure I have it with me. The mom starts laughing and says she’s checking even as she’s holding it in her hand.
I sit next to a blond woman with a friendly smile, all dressed in pink. My instincts tell me she’ll be fun to chat with. And she is! I learn she’s a manager for Claire’s going to LA for training and we talk about traveling and trips we’ve taken.
I need to stretch my legs and go into the waiting area next to mine. I see an amazing sunrise through the window and go over to take a photo. I apologize to the young man sitting near me for getting in his space and he smiles and says it’s no problem and it is a nice sunrise. I ask him where he’s flying and he says Hawaii. A couple sitting across from him asks me where I’m going and I tell them Los Angeles. “La La Land,” the man says and I tell him I’m going to see my grandbaby. The couple get big smiles and nod their heads in the universal understanding of grandparents for grandparents.
The woman in front of me as we go up the ramp to board the plane starts singing, “I’m leaving on a jet plane…” and I finish for her, “…don’t know when I’ll be back again.” She turns around with a big grin on her face and says, “Exactly!” I follow her and her husband down the aisle and learn they are my seat mates! Cosmic!
As we fly south, we chat and I learn they’re flying to Chile and from there to other places and will be gone for a month. Of course, not long into our conversation I happen to mention my dad is in Wikipedia for mountain climbing and Cathy, who has an app that lets her connect to the internet, looks him up. We talk about weddings and children, trips we’ve taken, and places we’ve lived. When the plane lands I tell her I’m so glad I got her for a seat mate because you never know who you’re going to end up with and she nods and starts laughing.
I wave to the security guard as I head for baggage claim and he smiles and waves back. And there’s my son waiting for me! So good to be with him again!
Christina and little Linh join us at the Gratitude Cafe for lunch. Linh is just waking up from a nap, and it takes a while before she notices me and then she gets a big grin on her face. Oh joy!
Later Christina gives me a tour of Venice Beach. Little Linh is running ahead of us and, literally, runs into a woman with a baby stroller. And this is how we meet Raven and her beautiful little two month-old baby. Her baby, Ariana, was born prematurely – at just 30 weeks- and she’s really tiny – the big pink bow on her head is almost as big as she is. But Raven tells us that she’s more than doubled in size since she was born – she weighed two pounds at birth and now weighs five!
Raven is so fun – animated and full of love – and I ask her if I can take her picture. She laughs and poses for me while I snap my camera.
It’s only day one, and look how many cool new friends I’ve made!
It has been a challenging week – both personally and globally, I guess – and I needed to get out and exchange smiles and meet new friends and see the good in the world.
As I was on my way to Fred Meyer’s yesterday I realized that it was “senior” day there and I’d get to buy things with a discount. So that was cool. I love “senior” day at Fred Meyer’s – not just because of the discount, but because it’s kind of fun to be with a store-full of other people who were alive when the Beatles first appeared on Ed Sullivan, and when man took his first steps on the moon. There’s a kinship there.
As I was checking out, I had to keep asking the cashier to repeat herself, and we both started laughing. I commended her for her patience with me, and with the other seniors there. I told her my dad lived to be 101 and I was his POA at the end and, maybe because of this, I can recognize in other people the ones who care for, and know HOW to care for, our society’s oldest members. The cashier laughed and said that she’s told her older relations that they don’t need to worry, she’s got their backs.
I also met some way cool “youngsters” at Fred’s yesterday – and by youngsters I mean young people around my sons’ ages – late twenties and early thirties.
I’d stopped in the photo department to buy photo paper and ink and there was a young man in the aisle, looking for computer stuff, I think – and he had this amazing hair – curly and long and red and tied up in a pony tail. I turned to him and said, “It has to be said: You have amazing hair.” He started laughing and thanked me, and told me that he’s the only one in his family who ended up with curly hair – and he didn’t get his until he was twelve or so. I told him the same was true for my eldest son.
Later, as I was waiting in line at the in-store Starbucks, I got into conversation with two young families with babies in carts ahead of me in the line. The mother of one of the babies said that the babies were cousins and were only a few months apart in age – and I learned the youngest was only two weeks older than my granddaughter. So that was pretty cool. I got into conversation with the father of one of the babies and learned he was my oldest son’s age. And, as we stood in line at the Starbucks in Fred’s, he talked to me about his recent spiritual journey, and the importance of the sun, and the connection he feels with nature and he asked me if I saw the face in his picture of the sun and I know this is all one sentence, but that’s the only way I can convey the energy coming from him as he talked to me. It’s amazing the conversations one can have waiting in line at Fred Meyer’s.
I went out to my car, and there was another young man feeding his jeep some kind of fuel enhancer (?) in a bottle that I at first took for a soda can. He’d noticed my sticker for the Wake ‘n Bakery in Glacier – and said he liked all my other stickers, too – and soon he was telling me about his youtube snow reports and his horses and farm, and how he’d grown up in Michigan, but had lived in Marblemount for twenty years, and the difference between x-country skiing in the topography of Michigan and x-country skiing in the topography of the North Cascades and, again, I know that’s a lot to put into one sentence, but that’s the only way I can convey the energy I felt coming from this young man, too. It’s amazing the conversations one can have in a parking lot at Fred Meyer’s.
By the time I’d left Fred’s I’d exchanged smiles, and made new friends, seen the good in the world, and seen the face of the sun.
I felt impelled to get out of the house and go for a drive. I ended up at the Bellingham mall with the vague idea that I might go Christmas shopping.
As I headed into Macy’s a young woman approached me – she looked scared. She said her baby was locked in the car with her keys and she asked me if I could let security know. I went into Macy’s and let the customer service people know the situation. They needed to know the model of the car and where it was parked, so I went back out and asked the young mother if I could watch her car and baby while she went inside to talk to the customer service people. She thanked me and I took up my post by her car.
When I looked in the window I saw her baby was crying – so I said, “Hi Sweetie! I’m right here with you!” and she started giggling then and smiling at me. There was a little toy suction cupped to the window and the baby reached up and started playing with the toy – like she was playing with me – and we spent the next minute or so laughing at her toy together.
The baby’s mom came out then, and pretty soon folks in uniforms joined her at her car to help her.
And the thought occurred to me that maybe that was the whole reason I’d felt like I’d needed to drive and ended up at the mall – I hardly ever go there, and it was weird for me to decide to go there today.
I bought a red vest and a new pair of jeans and then started my drive home.
And the clouds and the rain and the gray evening light enveloped me in a peaceful bubble. I’d put in a CD of hymns sung by a pair of young brothers with a youthful energy, and as I listened to the hymns I thought of my mom and remembered all the times she’d sung those hymns to me. I could feel her love with me. As I drove through the Chuckanut Hills, I thought of the hikes I’d taken with Dad and felt his love, too. And then I remembered driving this same route when I was bringing the sons home from swimming lessons when they were preschoolers and I could almost hear them laughing with each other in the back seat. It seemed a lifetime ago, and just like yesterday.
“He leadeth me, O blessed thought! O words with heav’nly comfort fraught…” And suddenly I felt myself connected to all the other people in the cars moving with me on I-5. And for a moment our kinship with each other was so clear to me. I felt us all moving together in a cosmic murmuration. Normally I try to exit onto the backroads, but I found myself passing the exit I might normally haven taken and I realized I WANTED to be with the other folks on I-5.
My drive home was other-worldly and beautiful. -Karen Molenaar Terrell
My oldest son was born 32 years ago next month. The moment I became a mother, I changed profoundly as a human being. Here was a little life that meant more to me than my own life. Here was someone I would die for – without a second’s thought.
I instantly felt connected to every mother in the universe. I hadn’t really noticed babies before I became a mother myself, but when I became a mother I suddenly discovered that there were babies everywhere! I found my motherly instincts coming out with every baby I encountered – I cooed and played peekaboo and never hesitated to hold a baby other parents handed to me when their hands were full.
Becoming a mother changed who I was as a teacher, too. Now when I looked at my students’ faces I could see them as their mothers saw them. In fact, after I became a mother I found it easier to see EVERYone as their moms might see them. It opened up a whole ‘nother world to me – a world where I better understood my connection to everyone on this planet.
Five months after I birthed my oldest son, I celebrated my first Mother’s Day as a new mom. My own mom sent me $50 for that Mother’s Day. I wanted to buy something special with that money – something that I could keep forever to remember my mom, and to celebrate my own motherhood.
I went to our local mall – at that time our mall was a lively, busy place, filled with big department stores and little kiosks. At one of the kiosks I found a silver ring that depicted two dolphins swimming alongside each other. In my mind I saw a mother dolphin swimming alongside her baby dolphin – protecting and guiding him. That ring seemed perfect for Mother’s Day!
I loved that ring and what it represented for me, but at some point – I can’t remember exactly when now – it got put in a jewelry box with other rings and I lost track of it.
And this month I found it again! I put it on – and discovered another cool thing about this ring: although my fingers are no longer size 4, the ring bends to fit my fingers – it adapts to who I am now.
When I put on my dolphin ring, I remembered my mom’s gift to me that first Mother’s Day. I pictured her sweet face smiling at me. I could hear her voice. I told her that I understand now – I understand things I didn’t understand 32 years ago. I understand her sacrifices. I understand how much I took her love and support for granted. I understand the joy she must have felt when she became a grandma, and I understand now how it feels when your children fly from the nest to make their own lives – the pride when they unfold their wings and take to the air, and the closing of a chapter as they become specks on the horizon in their flight.
When I was a young mother I embraced the sacrifices that a young mother makes. But now I understand the sacrifices a mother with grown children makes – and they are just as real and just as noble. I didn’t appreciate what Mom sacrificed as we grew up and made our own lives. She never asked for more time with us – she knew we were busy – but I remember that Christmas Eve night when I showed up at Mom and Dad’s house unannounced and I remember the look of joy on my mom’s face when she came down the hallway and saw me sitting at her table. I’m so grateful now that I gave her that Christmas Eve night. I wish I had been able to give her more.
My dolphin ring links me between two generations – links me between my mom and my sons. And I’m so grateful for all of the love this ring represents.
Kurt Vonnegut said, “I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, ‘If this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is.'”
And this morning I took notice. This morning was magic – from beginning to end – this morning was magic:
I decided today would be a good day to make my monthly drive to La Conner and pay my broadband bill. As I was getting in my car to head out, I had my first snow geese sighting of the year – a flock of them flew right over our house!
I stopped on the way to La Conner to take a quick walk on the Padilla Bay Dike Trail, and saw a blue heron flapping around a couple of egrets – that was very cool – I don’t often see egrets up here. And I don’t think I’ve ever seen them with a heron.
Jolyne and Jeri were both manning the broadband office today – I always enjoy seeing them every month – they are a comedy team. Jolyne was talking today about starting a “J and J” podcast and I would watch that, for sure.
After I paid my bill I headed towards the La Conner boardwalk for a walk along the Swinomish Channel. On my way to the boardwalk I spotted a squirrel hopping along the street, one of the last of this year’s dragonflies, and a bee on the last of this year’s flowers. I met a man named Don on the boardwalk, in La Conner for a reunion with some of his friends from the Seattle University class of 1962. As we chatted I found out he’d grown up in Winlock – he didn’t think I would have even heard of Winlock – but, coincidentally, I have a couple of friends who grew up there! It was fun to find that connection.
I hadn’t been planning this, but when I got to the Calico Cafe, I decided to turn in there for lunch. I asked for a seat outside, and the hostess led me to a nice seat in the sunshine where I could watch the seagulls and pigeons winging over the water, and the fishing boats motoring by on the channel. The hostess was cheery and helpful and brought me a mocha and punched my espresso card while I waited for the waitress.
It was perfect out there – just the right temperature – I could feel the sun warming my back. I felt safe and happy. I had everything I needed in that moment. And I looked around at all the life going on around me – the birds and the people and the little ladybug in the potted plants. Such joy!
When Kaya, the waitress, came for my order, I ordered a pesto froccacia scramble – scrambled eggs full of spinach, tomatoes, feta cheese, and focaccia bread. When Kaya brought it out, I just looked at the beauty of it for a moment. Took a picture of it with Kaya – I told her she had to be in the picture, too – and she graciously let me include her in the photo. I asked Kaya her name and she told me and then I told her my name was (pause for dramatic effect) “Karen” and she started laughing, passing my Karen Test.
Two women came into the outside dining area with a little girl skipping along behind them. The way the little girl approached life just tickled me. She was just so happy to be there. I chatted to the women and found out that they were sisters and the little girl was the daughter of one of them.
Kaya came up to give me a box for my leftovers and to give me my bill. I told her everything was just perfect. I was enjoying one of life’s perfect moments. She smiled and got a little teary and thanked me for sharing that.
As I got up to leave the mother of the little girl turned and wished me a good day, and I told her then that I love the way her little girl approached life – just so happy.
As I walked back to my car I passed a couple on the sidewalk and said, “Isn’t it a perfect day?” And they smiled and agreed it was.
I stopped to wave to the balcony of the apartment where Mom and Dad used to live, and felt Moz waving back to me. I felt her walking with me in Love.
This morning was perfect. And I’m so glad I let myself be conscious of that.
I wake up at four in the morning and find my son has just messaged me from Australia. I reply and let him know I’m up. He is at the end of the day, and I am at the start of the same day. I ask him if he has any tips for me from the future. And suddenly time disappears. The space between us disappears. And there is just Love everywherenow, connecting me to him, and connecting me to the universe. We message back-and-forth for 15 minutes – text-chatting and text-laughing together. And then it’s time for me to go back to bed, and my son thanks me for “dropping in.”
-Karen Molenaar Terrell
“I climb with joy, the heights of Mind To soar o’er time and space; I yet shall know as I am known And see Thee face to face Till time and space and fear are naught My quest shall never cease Thy presence ever goes with me And Thou dost give me peace.” – V.H., Christian Science Hymnal #136
Adventures of the Madcap Christian Scientist 