joyful, playful Life
blessings showered upon us
find the joy today
-Karen Molenaar Terrell
Find the Joy Today
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Category Archives: inspiration
Morning Prayer (February 26, 2022)
You are my precious child.
Feel yourself embodied in my body –
embodied in the body of Love.
I AM Love, all-power, all-presence, always with you.
I AM impenetrable Love,
all encompassing – the only presence or power or Mind.
You are never separated, isolated, or apart from Love.
There is no place you could go,
or be taken,
that is outside of Love.
You are never apart from Love.
You are never in danger because you are never outside
of what is Good. You are in an impervious armor of Love.
You are a part of the Life that fills all space and never ends.
You are the expression of never-ending Life itself.
-Karen Molenaar Terrell
Be a Tree
The son and I talked about the tree
on the drive home.
850 years it had lived on this planet!
It had been seeded in the late 1100’s –
around the time of Genghis Khan
and England’s King John,
before Mansua Musa or Marco Polo,
da Vinci or Michelangelo.
Before Henry VIII, Elizabeth I, Shakespeare,
Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr. or Mooji.
It rooted into the soil as a tender seedling
and grew during the Black Plague; grew
while the ash from Krakatoa blocked the sun;
and while factories sprouted up across
the northern hemisphere. It grew while
soldiers fought to end slavery; while
World War I and World War II raged
across Europe; while our planet warmed;
and while division and despair
made humans sometimes wonder
if our planet was beyond repair.
It grew.
Quietly, without fanfare or medals
or approval or star ratings –
it lived, created oxygen, and grew –
because that is what trees do.
And maybe when it was older and sturdy,
indigenous children played in its bends
and called it “friend.”
I like to think that’s true.
Yesterday I visited my wise friend, Charles.
He could tell I was scared about our world.
“Just be present,” he said. “Be a tree.”
-Karen Molenaar Terrell
The Love That We Draw Near
There are nobler things than “shows
of strength,”
stronger things than greed,
more worthy things than ego,
better things to feed.
There’s Love and Truth and Life itself –
all-power, always beautiful, always here.
Greed and ego don’t have a chance
against the Love that we draw near.
-Karen Molenaar Terrell
“Draw nigh to Love and love will draw nigh to you.”
-James 4:8
Five Years Ago…
Five years ago today we brought Moz into our home. The nurturers from hospice came in and showed us how to care for Mom. Moz and I spent the afternoon telling each other how much we loved each other. At the end of the day it became hard for Moz to speak, but I was greedy. I needed to hear it one more time. “You love me, don’t you?” And I’ll never forget the expression in Moz’s eyes as they locked onto mine and poured her love into me. I knew exactly what she was saying to me with her eyes: “You KNOW I love you!”
No one loved me like Moz loved me.
Early the next morning, as I lay sleeping on the couch next to her bed, she passed on. I could feel her brush by me in my sleep – it was this beautiful, joyful dream – full of peace and joy and love.
Since Then
It’s been almost five years since then,
but it feels like yesterday that you left,
brushed by me as I slept, on your way
to the other side of infinity.
There are still days when I think I should
pick up the phone and give you a call.
But I know I don’t really need a phone
to talk with you. I feel you with me –
here and now.
The sons are both married now; and Dad
has gone – joined you on the other side
of infinity; I’m retired, sort of; and we have
a new president. Everything has changed
and nothing has changed since then.
I feel your love. You must feel mine.
-Karen Molenaar Terrell, from Since Then
The Brush of Angel Wings
The end was like the beginning –
the oxygen machine breathing,
making the sound of the womb,
a soothing rhythm in the room
as she slept on the bed next to me.
All is quiet, but for the pumping
of O through her mask. In my dreams
I feel the light brush of angel wings
and fear is replaced by freedom
and limitless joy that comes
through an opened heavenly portal.
I open my eyes to see the battle
over and done. She has won.
I rise and stand on holy ground.
-Karen Molenaar Terrell, from The Brush of Angel Wings
“…individual good derived from God, the infinite All-in-all, may flow from the departed to mortals…”
– Mary Baker Eddy, Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures
The 364 and 1/4 Days a Year That Aren’t Valentine’s Day
“Marriage should signify a union of hearts.”
-Mary Baker Eddy
Scotty brought me flowers to celebrate Valentine’s Day. I’ll attach a photo below. Aren’t they pretty?
On March 31st Scott and I will have been married 38 years. I couldn’t have foreseen, on our wedding day, what was coming down the line – I couldn’t see that there’d come a time when I’d need to bring Mom into our home; I couldn’t see that there’d come a time when I’d become responsible for Dad’s health and finances and well-being. I couldn’t foresee the struggles and challenges – and all the good stuff, too – when I married Scott. But I sure couldn’t have picked a better partner to have beside me through all of it – through the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Every single time we’ve been up against the wall, Scott’s come through for us. When I was feeling overwhelmed and exhausted as we cleaned out my parents’ house, Scott said, “We can’t quit. We don’t have a choice,” and mopped and packed and dusted and swept right alongside me. When we realized we needed to find a place for Mom after she was released from the hospital that last time, and I asked Scott how he felt about bringing her into our home, he said, “We’ll make it work!” and took lessons, with me, from the hospice nurse so he could help care for her. When I asked him if he wanted to climb Mount Baker with me, and then Mount Adams – he didn’t hesitate to join me on those adventures and – knowing I’d suffered a glissading accident when I was a youngster that had given me a terrible fear of glissading – he helped me work past my fear on the way down from Adams and showed me, again, how much fun glissading can be.
He was with me when our sons were born and with me when I said good bye to my parents for the last time. He was the one I went to when I discovered Mom had passed as I slept on the couch next to her bed – I wasn’t sure she was really gone, and woke Scott to ask him to come with me to her bedside and check. He checked on her with me and said, “She’s gone, sweetie.” He was there with me during that moment of recognition that Moz had moved on – and was there to give me the strength I needed in that moment and in the weeks to come. He was there when Dad needed help in the bathroom, and there when Dad celebrated his 100th birthday on Rainier. He’s been with me through both the sublime and the ridiculous.
Scott helped build our home – he did the plastering and taping, sanding and varnishing, of our physical home; and helped nurture the love and security of our mental home, too.
I can’t imagine how I’d have gotten to this point in my life without Scott beside me.
Scotty brought me flowers to celebrate Valentine’s Day, but he’s showed me his love every day for the last 38 years.
“Matrimony should never be entered into without a full recognition of its enduring obligations on both sides. There should be the most tender solicitude for each other’s happiness, and mutual attention and approbation should wait on all the years of married life.”
-Mary Baker Eddy
Dunbar’s 150
These are the people who know me
and love me anyway – just as I am.
I don’t need to hide away the pain
and be the ever-smiling savior
for them – they don’t dump shame
on my head for being human
or for saying the wrong thing
or sometimes making the wrong choice
or sometimes raising my voice.
They know what’s in my heart
and trust me. They see the good in me
and help me see it, too, through
their eyes. They are my refuge
and my shelter, and my home.
-Karen Molenaar Terrell
About Dunbar’s 150.
The Red Envelope
Something really precious just happened. Christina and Andrew went out last night to celebrate Lunar New Year, and this morning I wanted to hear all about their celebration. Christina told me what they did last night, and then she told me how she would be celebrating Lunar New Year today if she was with her family in Australia. I suggested that she and Andrew should go to the local Vietnamese restaurant for dinner tonight to celebrate, and I told her I wanted to pay for dinner. I got out my checkbook to write a check. Christina’s face lit up and she said that it was just like the “red envelope” – on Lunar New Year’s the young people go to their elders and give them a blessing for the new year, and the elders give them money in a red envelope. So I found an old red Christmas card envelope and put the check in there. Christina gave me a blessing in Vietnamese and then translated what she said in English – her blessing was so beautiful and dear: “Mom, I wish you much happiness…” And then I handed my new daughter the red envelope.
Waiting to See What Will Appear
I sit at my laptop at 5:00 in the morning
waiting to see what will appear
and my poet-son (“Stealthman”) quietly joins
me with his notebook and pen and sits near.
Poet-son and his love looked at apartments
yesterday and I know they’ll be moving out soon –
I know wherever they are they will bloom.
The cats are fed and one puts his paw on me
and meows for me to stroke his hair
while the other watches us from the top of a chair –
watching the poet-son and me
as we wake and write and type.
I feel it. The day is just starting, and ripe
with possibilities of what might be.
I enjoy this perfect moment, with the cats
and the son close by me.
-Karen Molenaar Terrell
“To those leaning on the sustaining infinite, to-day is big with blessings.”
-Mary Baker Eddy
Meet My New Friend, Bridger
(Originally published on bellinghambayblog.)
So a cool thing happened this morning: I was up in Bellingham, doing my walk, and when I got to Boulevard Park I saw a man using one of those ball launchers to fling a tennis ball to his dog. I was smiling at the dog as I came around on the path. And then – to my surprise and delight – the dog nabbed the tennis ball his human flung to him and brought it to ME! He laid it down at my feet and looked up at me, hopefully. I’m pretty sure the dog was smiling. I picked up the ball and threw it back towards the dog’s human – but the ball only got about half-way there. The dog picked it up and brought it back to me again! I was so tickled that the dog chose to include me in his game. I threw it again and the dog went chasing after it.
Birch, the dog’s human, told me his dog’s name is Bridger – like Bridger-Teton National Forest in Wyoming. (One of my mountain-climbing dad’s favorite places.)
Bridger made my day.
-Karen Molenaar Terrell
Here’s a picture of Bridger smiling at me…
Adventures of the Madcap Christian Scientist 