(3rd Book) Introduction to The Madcap Christian Scientist: All Things New

(Introduction to The Madcap Christian Scientist: All Things New)

Vonnegut, Stevenson, and Adams Talking in My Head –

In the beginning, God created the earth, and he looked upon it in His cosmic loneliness. And God said, “Let Us make living creatures out of mud, so the mud can see what We have done.” And God created every living creature that now moveth, and one was man. Mud as man alone could speak. God leaned close as mud as man sat up, looked around, and spoke. Man blinked. “What is the purpose of all this?” he asked politely. “Everything must have a purpose?” asked God. “Certainly,” said man. “Then I leave it to you to think of one for all this,” said God. – Kurt Vonnegut

But our early man has a moment to reflect and he thinks to himself, “Well, this is an interesting world that I find myself in,” and then he asks himself a very treacherous question, a question that is totally meaningless and fallacious, but only comes about because of the nature of the sort of person he is, the sort of person he has evolved into, and the sort of person who has thrived because he thinks this particular way. Man the maker looks at his world and says, “So who made this, then?” Who made this? – you can see why it’s a treacherous question. Early man thinks , “Well, because there’s only one sort of being I know about who makes things, whoever made all this must therefore be a much bigger, much more powerful and necessarily invisible, one of me, and because I tend to be the strong one who does all the stuff, he’s probably male.” And so we have the idea of a God. Then, because when we make things, we do it with the intention of doing something with them, early man asks himself, “If he made it, what did he make it for?” – Douglas Adams

Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love… God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him. I John 4

This year I’ve had the great good privilege of holding conversations with authors Douglas Adams (author of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy series), Kurt Vonnegut (author of Slaughterhouse Five and other equally amazing novels), and D.E. Stevenson (author of the Miss Buncle books). Okay, so I didn’t, like, actually talk to any of them in the person – seeing as how they’re all dead and everything, but I did have the great joy of reading their books for the first time this year, and sort of… well… talking to them in my head.

We all laughed together at the nonsense of life and humankind and ourselves, we chatted about God, and I found kinship with them in our similar views of “Life, the Universe, and Everything” (another of Adams’s books).

Adams and Vonnegut were atheists (I didn’t find any place in her writings where Stevenson actually voices her thoughts regarding a belief in God) and, although I do believe in God, I, too, am an atheist when it comes to an anthropomorphic god who lives in the clouds and zaps his children to hell periodically. I am of the opinion that THAT kind of a god should have long ago gone the way of Zeus and Mars and ridden off into the sunset on his fiery chariot never to be seen again except in the study of ancient cultures and literature.

I wish I would have found Adams, Vonnegut, and Stevenson earlier in my life. I can’t believe it took me so long. I’m sad that I didn’t get to know Adams – who was only five years older than me – when he was walking the earth. I’m sad that his sudden death at the age of 49 didn’t have the significance to me that it would have, had I known him then. I wish I would have understood , then , what his early departure meant to the world . And when I read his last book, The Salmon of Doubt – compiled in the year after his death by his friends and editors – I found myself sobbing when I got to the end of it – knowing there wouldn’t be any more. I felt like I had lost a good friend.

Kurt Vonnegut introduced his readers to the fictitious but way cool religion of Bokononism in his book, Cat’s Cradle, and I will be making periodic references to Bokononism in my book.

And D.E. Stevenson introduced me to the wonderfully enlightened and wise Miss Buncle, who’s brought me laughter and the comforting feeling that I am not alone as I pretend to be a grown-up.

I’m going to bring my new friends into this book with me. They are a part of my life now, and they need to be a part of this book, too.

Introduction for The Madcap Christian Scientist’s Middle Book

Introduction to The Madcap Christian Scientist’s Middle Book: Further Adventures in Christian Science

“But this is one of his clouded times and He’ll out of ‘em enough to shake the tree Of life itself and bring down fruit unheard of…” – Edwin Arlington Robinson

My son and I recently talked about my previous book, Blessings: Adventures of a Madcap Christian Scientist. I told him that book was true for the person I was then, and I’m glad I wrote it, but I couldn’t write the same book now. Andrew told me I should write another book then, for this time in my life. I told him that my recent life experience has been kind of dark. He said I should write about that then, and he started talking about trilogies – how almost every life story has three parts – the first book is usually happy and innocent, the second one is dark and challenging, and the last book is the triumph book. Andrew said it was time for me to write “the middle book.” He assures me the book about the golden years will come, but he says that book can’t come until the middle book gets written.

So what you see here is me sucking it up and writing The Middle Book.

I need to write The Middle Book quickly, though, because I already see the golden years glimmering just beyond each word I type, and I can see the dark rapidly being replaced by the dawn. I’m sitting here, shaking my head in faux exasperation. This is just so typical. I never seem to be able to hold off my happy endings for any great length of time. I can see now that, even if I was determined to stay in The Middle Book, Life wouldn’t let me. As Mary Baker Eddy says in Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, “… progress is the law of God, whose law demands of us only what we can certainly fulfill.”

My hope is that by sharing my own Middle Book story, those who are just now entering their Middle Book will be relieved to discover they’re not alone, and before long they’ll see the dawn begin to lift the darkness, too. We’re all in this together…

– Karen Molenaar Terrell

In the World’s Battle For Joy…

… here’s my contribution today – the joys of life that never fail to put a smile on my face…

stuff that makes me happy

photos by Karen Molenaar Terrell

 

You Are So Loved

Never separated from Life and joy -never isolated. Never unworthy of Good. Never outside Love. You are so loved.

You are so loved.

Photo from Sauk Mountain in the North Cascades by Karen Molenaar Terrell.

Isn’t It Great to be Alive?!

Think back on the last five years of your life, my friend. Think of all you would have missed if you’d given up on life then – the new friends you never would have known; the sunrises and sunsets you wouldn’t have seen; the lessons you wouldn’t have learned, and the changes you wouldn’t have been able to make; the pictures never painted; songs never sung; all the love and laughter you would have denied yourself…  isn’t it great to be alive?!

great to be alive

photo of Mount Shuksan by Karen Molenaar Terrell

Breathe. You’re safe.

Breathe. In this moment you’re safe.

you're safe

photo by Karen Molenaar Terrell

I learned…

When I was working my way through the depression one of the most important things I learned was that I could be happy even when I was sad.

happy

photo by Karen Molenaar Terrell

Depression and Rebirth

The death of Robin Williams has been a hard one for a lot of us to process. We loved this man. We loved his energy, his zany over-the-top take on life – we loved how he made us laugh, and we loved his kindness. And those of us who have experienced depression ourselves feel a kinship with him in his struggles with mental illness.

If you are dealing with depression, I’m here to tell you, my dear friend, that you WILL get through this. And, trust me, when you come out on the other side – and you WILL come out on the other side – you will realize that it was all worth it – all of it. The pain won’t last forever, I promise. Accept it, sit in it, don’t try to fight it, learn what you need to learn from it. The pain won’t leave you where it found you – it’ll push you closer to your own rebirth. Rejoice!

It will get better.

photo of a forest in the Pacific Northwest by Karen Molenaar Terrell

He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings… – Psalms 40:2

Wilderness: Loneliness; doubt; darkness. Spontaneity of thought and idea; the vestibule in which a material sense of things disappears, and spiritual sense unfolds the great facts of existence.
– Mary Baker Eddy

Sorrow has its own reward. It never leaves us where it found us.
– Mary Baker Eddy

You ever want to just step out of life?

Yeah. Me, too, sometimes. Woke up at 4:00 in the morning and found Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures on my Kindle… opened it to a random place. Not sure now, exactly, what I read, but these are the thoughts that came to me afterwards…

I want to take a break, I said.
Can I step out of life for a moment,
or maybe stay in bed?
Can things go on without me awhile?
Can I just disappear?
Can you get on with your lives without me
and just pretend I’m not here?
For life is a messy business
and I’m tired and I am weary
I’ve made too many mistakes to count today
And I’d like to not make anymore, not any.

Will things get better?
Will life come out alright?
Will the hero find true love?
Will tomorrow be sparkly and bright?
Will there be a happy ending?
Will the ones I love know they’re loved?
Will I see any more rainbows?
Will sun’s rays beam through the clouds above?

And the still, small voice reached into my thought
– gentle, peaceable benediction –
“All the good you seek and all that you’ve sought,
you can claim right now – and that’ s no fiction –
for Love is yours to express, to feel and to be
you are wealthy beyond description.
Nothing else matters, there’s no other power
no warring opinions, no need to cower.
You are loved and you’re loving
and that’s all there is to it
Love’s loving child, and there’s nothing else,
simply nothing.”
– Karen Molenaar Terrell, schmaltz-monger extraordinaire

Things I Learned from the Year of Insanity

(All photos [except the Big Hand Karen photo, by Scott Terrell], were taken by Karen Molenaar Terrell.)

The other afternoon my husband and I went out for dinner at our favorite Italian restaurant. For whatever reason, I was feeling cranky.  Put upon. Impatient.  And then I saw the leaves on the tree outside the window, and I remembered what those leaves had meant to me during the Year of Insanity. I remembered a time when I hadn’t had a choice in how I felt – when I couldn’t seem to “make” myself happy, and had no control over what was going on inside my head. And I remembered the pledge I’d made to myself at the end of that long, dark time when I had a choice again: So long as I had a choice, I would never, ever choose sadness over joy. And right that moment, I let go of the crankiness, and, watching the leaves flicker on that tree outside the window, chose to enjoy my time at the restaurant.

The Year of Insanity was a whopper for me. I’d never experienced anything like it before – and don’t see a need to ever experience anything like it again 🙂 – but, looking back, I am convinced that I needed to go through that time. I learned so much from it – one of the chief things being that even when I’m depressed, I can be happy – even when I’m sad, I can experience joy. Another important lesson was that the pain passes – always, always. It doesn’t last forever. I learned I was strong. I learned I could survive.

There were certain things during that year that seemed to bring me peace when i looked on them. I can’t tell you why my distressed thought was comforted by these things – why they were the objects that seemed to calm me during that time – but I can tell you what they were: The leaves on that particular tree outside the Italian restaurant; sailboats on the bay; my hands; butterflies and dragonflies; seagulls in flight; and big bright sunflowers.

One of the things that happened to me during that time – and that has stayed with me – is that I began to – I was forced to, really – tune in more intensely to the beauty around me – I began to notice things in my surroundings that I might have just walked by in the past: Little insects on flowers; all the varied colors in the sky and water; clouds – I’d never so appreciated clouds before this time! The insanity forced me to live moment-by-moment, taking each moment one at a time – being grateful to have survived that moment before moving on to the next one. I learned to stop the constant dialogue in my head by taking a deep breath and focusing on the gifts of that moment – the dragonfly over the water; the sailboat gliding by; the flickering leaves on the tree. “Thank you, God, thank you, God, thank you, God” became my mantra. 

And one day I woke up and came back to myself.  I remember walking down the ramp toward the boardwalk – the bay stretched out in front of me, and a ray of sunlight breaking through the clouds and sparkling on the water – and I was free.

 The time to be happy is now. The place to be happy is here. – Robert Green Ingersoll

 Step by step will those who trust Him find that “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” – Mary Baker Eddy

(More about the Year of Insanity can be found in The Madcap Christian Scientist’s Middle Book.)

http://www.amazon.com/Madcap-Christian-Scientists-Middle-Book/dp/1477442456/ref=tmm_pap_title_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1378217527&sr=8-1