January 24

Today was split into two parts – the “before” and the “after.”

In the “before” I drove into town to see if I could find a little bedside lamp for our spare bedroom. I thought I’d stop by Pat’s New and Used – I hadn’t been there for years and I wondered if my former student, Rod, was still connected to it. His family had owned the old Pat’s New and Used, I remembered. So I stopped by to see what I could see. It was amazing in there! – full of nostalgia and fun, useful things and cheerfully whimsical things. I found a little lamp right away and set it on the counter, and then just explored for a while.

When I came back to the counter, I asked the clerk if Rod still was part of Pat’s New and Used, and she told me he was! Then she led me back through the aisles and outside and called out to him. Rod came out from behind some machinery and I asked him if he remembered me. He smiled and said he did – he said I was “Mrs. Terrell” – he recognized my voice and smile and mannerisms. I’d had Rod in class probably 37 or 38 years ago and it’s an understatement to say that I’ve changed a little since then – so it was very cool that he still remembered me. Rod and I chatted and laughed together for a while and then I asked him if I could get his picture, and this is when I realized I’d left my cellphone at home. So Rod kindly took our photo with his cellphone. (See our pic below.)

It was so fun to see Rod again, and I was so excited about finding my new little lamp. I came home all full of gratitude about the gifts Life gives us.

Then I checked my FB messages. I learned about the murder in Minnesota this morning. All the joy of the morning got sucked out of me.

The rest of the day was my “after.”

I had to go back into town to get some gas and buy groceries. Usually I walk into Fred’s with a smile on my face, wondering who I’m going to run into in there, and what magic I’ll find. But today I walked in feeling emotionally shattered. I wandered the aisles, shocked and numb. I exchanged a smile with another man who had the same look I probably had on my face – he looked like he was in mourning.

But when I got to the produce section I found a moment of joy – a cart went by with a toddler sitting in it, and I found myself smiling at the wee one, coaxing a smile back from him. His innocence, his unaffected happiness in getting a smile, and returning it to me – was magic. It’s amazing how a small thing like a smile from a baby can bring us out of the depths, isn’t it?

I found the things I wanted. Summoned a smile for the cashier – I love the people who work at Fred’s – filled my tank with gas, and started the drive home.

Following my intuition, I ended up taking a side road on the way home, and found myself gazing at a field of swans. I pulled over and got out of the car and started snapping pictures. The swans didn’t seem scared of me at all. They glanced up to see what was watching them, trusted I was harmless, and then went back to grazing. It was so peaceful there with the swans. Another moment of joy.

As I was about to get back on Chuckanut, I impulsively turned into the Otter Beans espresso stand. The baristas there always lift me up with their kindness. Danielle was manning the shop today. She asked me how I was, and I was honest with her about how I was feeling. There were no other customers there right then, and Danielle and I had a good chat for about ten minutes – talking to Danielle was like talking with a life coach. I told her I always find joy at the Otter Beans, and she told me that I had just brought HER joy by telling her that. Then she reminded me that for all the evil we see happening in the world, there’s always good, too – and she reminded me to look for that.

Just about then, Scotty suddenly appeared next to me. He was on his way home from his errands, too, and had seen me at Otter Beans. It always makes my heart happy when I see my husband unexpectedly. More joy!

I got home. Made myself some peanut butter and honey toast. Put on the 1987 version of *Adventures in Babysitting* and watched a babysitter conquer the forces of evil. I found this weirdly inspiring.

At 7:00, like other people around the nation, Scott and I lit a candle in tribute to Alex Pretti, an American hero.

And thus ended another day in the U.S.A.