“Am I done now?” I ask. Half-hoping yes. Half-hoping no. “I’ve taught my students, raised fine sons until they were grown, written my books, taken my photos, lived through the highs, and survived the lows. I’ve climbed enough mountains and seen my share of rainbows. So am I done now?” I ask. “I want to know.”
And Love answers: “There’s no end to Me and so there’s no end to you. You’re where you’ll always be – in Love unchanging, always new. You will never be done reflecting Love’s love – whether you’re in the valley below or flying in clouds above. So don’t worry about what’s next. You’re where you need to be now – enjoy these moments you have here – beyond the when or what or how.” -Karen Molenaar Terrell
I wake up at four in the morning and find my son has just messaged me from Australia. I reply and let him know I’m up. He is at the end of the day, and I am at the start of the same day. I ask him if he has any tips for me from the future. And suddenly time disappears. The space between us disappears. And there is just Love everywherenow, connecting me to him, and connecting me to the universe. We message back-and-forth for 15 minutes – text-chatting and text-laughing together. And then it’s time for me to go back to bed, and my son thanks me for “dropping in.”
-Karen Molenaar Terrell
“I climb with joy, the heights of Mind To soar o’er time and space; I yet shall know as I am known And see Thee face to face Till time and space and fear are naught My quest shall never cease Thy presence ever goes with me And Thou dost give me peace.” – V.H., Christian Science Hymnal #136
I left a land of cockatoos and palm trees and landed before I left in another time zone under gray skies and Douglas firs – Karen Molenaar Terrell
In the end, we arrived back in America a couple of hours before we left Australia. Yes, I’m here to tell you that time travel is, indeed, possible.
There is a seventeen-hour time difference between Australia and where we live in Bow, Washington. So we lifted off from Vancouver, BC, on July 5th and landed in Sydney 18 hours later on July 7th. And from that point until we arrived back in North America yesterday, everything has been a little upside down and backwards for me. In Australia, the sun moves along the northern sky and rises on the right; Folks drive on the left side of the road; and Australians have their winter when North America is having its summer. On our return, we left Sydney at 8:40 am on July 25th and arrived in Vancouver 15 hours later – and two hours earlier – at 6:40 am on July 25th. Whoah.
***
Australia was wonderful. The people are friendly and fun. The birds are full of color and music. The flowers are vibrant. The winter weather is like springtime in my part of the world.
I met so many amazing people “down under” – the helpful, smiling security folks at the airport; the travelers from Canada who waited with us in the customs line and let me know that I’m not the only one who’s always checking to see if my passport is still where it needs to be – apparently other people check to see if their passports have somehow leaped out of pockets and purses, too; the woman who laughed with me when, after my husband asked me if I needed help, I pulled my heavy suitcase out of the baggage carousel at the Sydney airport and repeated Aussie Helen Reddy’s lyrics, “I am woman/hear me roar”; the staff at Karen’s Diner and the staff at the Baytouna Lebanese restaurant; the cheery cashier at the coffee shop who taught me how to say “table seven” (“tible sayven”); the police officers and soccer fans celebrating the women’s soccer team in Sydney; the firefighters at the cafe; the confident, competent, lovely midwife who delivered my new grandbaby; the line of passengers at Sydney airport who laughed with me when I got into their line accidentally and almost boarded the wrong plane – “Americans!” I said, shaking my head, and grinning in embarrassment, and they joined me in my laughter and helped me feel accepted in my human-ness; and the wonderful woman from Quebec I met while waiting to board the plane I was actually supposed to be on, who shared how she travels from Canada to Australia twice a year to visit her son and daughter (who both married Australians) and to see her grandchildren. She inspired me and helped me realize that I’m not alone in the physical distance I have between my son and daughter-in-law and grandchild – that other people are in similar situations, and that we all want our children to live the lives they need to live, even if it means they’re on the other side of the world.
***
I’m thinking about all that needed to happen for our beautiful baby granddaughter to arrive on this planet. I think about the miracles that brought little Marilyn here. Her maternal grandmother, Kim, had to survive a year in a Vietnamese prison, working as slave labor, after being caught trying to escape from Vietnam when she was 18; her maternal grandfather, Ben, had to escape from Vietnam on a terrifying boat ride before finding a new home in Australia. Little Marilyn’s paternal great-grandfather, my father Dee Molenaar, had to survive a desperate situation in 1953 on K2, the world’s second highest mountain – his life hanging on the end of a rope belayed by his climbing teammate, Pete Schoening. Little Marilyn’s paternal great-grandmother, my mother “Moz,” was the tenth of ten children – somehow managing to squeak into birth after her mother had decided she was having no more children after birthing number nine nearly killed her. Little Marilyn’s paternal grandfather, my husband Scott, had to impulsively get in a car bound for the west coast with his friends and start a new life in Washington State so that we could meet and marry and start a family. Little Marilyn’s parents, my son and daughter-in-law – one from Washington State and one from Sydney, Australia – had to both decide to visit a Buddhist retreat in California during the pandemic, in order for them to meet and fall in love, and bring Marilyn to us.
What are the odds of ANY of that happening?!
Marilyn’s existence has made all our lives more important than they were before she came.
***
I have so much to be grateful for today. My heart is full. My daughter-in-law and son are already amazing parents – nurturing and conscientious, and in love with their new baby; my new granddaughter is healthy and strong and beautiful; my daughter-in-law’s mother, Kim, is generous and kind and took wonderful care of us during our stay in Australia. Instead of love being cut off from me and separated, the love in my life is expanding and including more people and places. My sense of what constitutes “family” is growing.
I’m feeling it tonight the irrepressible power of Love, Truth, Life unfolding in marvelous glory in front of me -Karen Molenaar Terrell
“Spirit, God, gathers unformed thoughts into their proper channels, and unfolds these thoughts, even as He opens the petals of a holy purpose in order that the purpose may appear.: -Mary Baker Eddy, Science and Health
Fretting and frittering my day away trying to keep my little ego fed and coddled worrying about stuff that doesn’t matter one jot in the grand scheme of things searching for happiness in all the wrong places and my thoughts suddenly stop spinning and settle softly I hear Love’s voice: “My precious child. You are loved without end.” I don’t need to wait for Love I don’t need to work for Love I don’t need to earn Love Love is always here, always mine Forever and ever Amen. -Karen Molenaar Terrell
I’ve been told there are people who have lived in my community for “generations” and I think about the wonder of that – of families putting down roots that grow deep and old and connect them to the land of grandparents and great-grandparents and great-greats.
And I think about my family – scattered across continents – and none of us have spent a lifetime living in one house, one town, one community, on the same land as generations before us.
And for a moment I feel a sadness about that. And then…
The phrase “rooted and grounded in love” pops into my head. And I realize that the members of my family ARE connected, right now, on the same ground as generations before us, and generations to come. Our roots HAVE grown deep and are connected in Love – the richest ground of all.
And nothing can destroy our roots or our connection to each other. Nothing can separate us from our home. There is no diaspora for us. We are rooted in Love. -Karen Molenaar Terrell
Ephesians 3: 14-19 For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, Of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man; That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God.
baby spider pressed against my windshield as I drive down country roads with a 50 mph speed limit and soon I will be on the freeway where the speed limit is 70
I pull over and look around in my car for something I can use to lift the baby off my windshield I find an old cardboard cup sleeve and push it under the little spider until he climbs on then I take him to the side of the road and dangle him over a dandelion leaf I watch as he lowers himself onto the leaf with his spider string and then I get back in my car and head for the freeway
sometimes it’s handy to have a car littered with cardboard cup sleeves
There are two books in the Adventures with Dad series – plus a related book called Finding the Rainbows. There are 25 reviews for the three books – 24 of them are five stars. 🙂
Heidi writes about Are You Taking Me Home Now? Adventures with Dad: “This is a delightful book and Karen is a gifted writer. She lets us listen in to the conversations she and her 100 year old Dad have on their car trips, which had me laughing and crying. Interspersed are memories of earlier times. Having a relationship with an older person whose body and brain don’t work as well as it used to requires patience, humor and love. As someone else here said, “Karen shows us how to do it right.” I enjoyed reading this very much. I highly recommend this book and will be giving it out for gifts.”
So yesterday I’m eating breakfast by myself at the Harris Cafe. Some young folks come in and sit at the table next to me – two women and a man probably in their early twenties. And, of course, I’m listening into their conversation. And they’re funny and laughing at themselves and supportive of each other and they’ve got that energy, you know? And I find myself sitting there with a big grin on my face – just soaking in the joy.
After I’m done with my breakfast, as I get up to leave, I just have to stop and say something to these young ‘uns. So I turn to them and explain that I’m a retired high school teacher and the mother of two sons who are now all grown up – and that I’ve been missing the energy of young people. I tell them how much I’ve enjoyed their kindness to each other and their laughter. And they smile these warm, open smiles back at me, and nod their heads in understanding, and one of the women says, “Thank you!” and “You need to call your son!”
I ended up going to a movie, “Blackberry,” with my youngest son and his wife yesterday afternoon. And that was so fun! And then when I got home I called my oldest son in Australia and videochatted with him – I told him the story of meeting the three young people at the restaurant and told him I was obeying the orders of the young woman who told me to call my son. We had a wonderful chat together – and laughed and hugged each other over the phone. It was good.
And now I’m sitting here smiling and crying simultaneously. I do this a lot lately. There’s a feeling that can’t be put into a nice neat box and labeled “sad” or “happy” or “bad” or “good.” It’s deeper than all of those things. It goes beyond “bad” or “good.” It just IS.
Sitting next to those young people yesterday – soaking up their energy – was a gift for me. -Karen Molenaar Terrell
“When the heart speaks, however simple the words, its language is always acceptable to those who have hearts.” -Mary Baker Eddy, “Heart to “Heart” in Miscellaneous Writings
I’ve been in a funk today – I feel like I’ve been treading water just to stay afloat – mourning friends and family who have passed on in the last several years. But just now – as the sun slipped beneath the horizon – I left my house for a quick walk and stepped into magic. I was instantly surrounded in evening smells and sounds – frogsong and birdsong and the perfume that comes from the spring flowers as the evening wraps around them. I looked up at the night sky and saw a light shining down on me – I think from a planet – and then, further away, a star twinkled at me. And I was just suddenly so grateful. So grateful to live in a place where I’m safe to walk around the block on a fragrant spring evening. So grateful that the sounds I hear are coming from birds and frogs, and not cannons and guns. So grateful that the sky is clear and clean and I can see the stars on a sweet spring evening.
I looked up at the stars and could feel my friends and family with me. I felt a part of something cosmic and divine.